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kittykat12

Not sure I can handle this

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kittykat12

everyone here is so uplifting...

but i still find it hard to smile about this. i first noticed an outbreak on friday-just 3 days ago. now i've been diagnosed and i can't stop crying and shaking. i want to vent to someone, but i'm worried about feeling judged. i want to tell my mom because she's my support system, but I know she'll cry and I don't think i can take that right now, being, already, so disappointed and upset.

i guess my biggest fear is...will i be alone for the rest of my life?

how will i tell someone i'm interested in that wants to have sex with me, sorry, buddy-i've got a serious, life-altering std?

are there really people out there who would say, "oh, that's ok. i care about you enough to deal with it as necessary"? that just doesn't seem realistic

i hate to sound so pessimistic, it's just, i was JUST diagnosed 4 hours ago.

the guy who gave it to me was surprisingly supportive and super-apologetic. he claims he didn't know. he asked me if i hate him and i said that i had so many emotions going on in my head-fear, regret, disappointment, anger, sadness, loneliness, etc.-that i didn't have room for hate.

should i hate him?

how do i deal with this when all i want to do right now is crawl into a ball and cry myself to sleep?

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amokwithit

You will be ok

I understand what you're going through. I have had herpes for 23 years. I have had many relationships over the years and every man who was worth my time was open and wanted to learn about it...and yes, some of them did say "it's ok...I care about you". Don't give up. Build a support group. I told my mother and my closest friends and not one of them was judgmental about it. You will not be alone for the rest of your life. I know it's hard now, but it does get easier. Take care of yourself physically and mentally and just know that we're all here together.

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kittykat12

thank you.

it's just so new and i'm in shock.

it's one of those "never thought it would happen to me" things.

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HITBYHSV

Dont worry - we talk in six months - you will be fine - get it right with your BF if he is a nice guy you like....its possible he didnt know....things sometimes happens in life - so what it all goes back to normal....even it cant be cured it wont be in your mind in time.....all the best!

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Guest Seatortuga

You're doing better than I did when I was first diagnosed. I wasn't looking for a support group, I was hoping the world would swalow me up. It didn't, I'm still here!

Maybe one day I'll be able to physically say "I have Herpes". But for now, one day at a time lol.

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dgucci

Hi kittykat12!

Oh my... I was just diagnosed yesterday. And I can really relate with you. I also ask the same things... And what sucks is that I have no one in my circle to talk about it with... well, thank God for this support group! I know we can get past this! We have to be well-informed, I'm glad I joined this group. And I'm glad u did too. :)

I'll go look around and gather more info. :)

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SpaceGoat

KittyKat, it's going to be okay.

I reacted poorly when I found out... actually when I realized I likely had Herpes, not when I was diagnosed. I cried, I hyperventilated, I vomited, I cried some more. I flipped out. I cried myself to sleep, woke up with a pounding headache. I felt horrible. I cried a lot the first few days. If I wasn't pregnant I would have drank myself into a stupor.

It's okay to experience what you are going through. It's even okay to fall apart. Make sure to put yourself back together, though.

Everyone comes to terms with this differently. I really think if you need to curl up in a ball and cry, do it. Allow yourself to mourn or rage or whatever you need to do. Just be sure to get up when you are done. Don't stay in the ball crying, or in your room, or deep inside yourself. You are still the same person you were.

It really is going to be okay. What you do to yourself emotionally and mentally is far worse than what herpes does to your body. That is a fact. It's a skin condition. It wont kill you. It will even help weed out the jerks who just want to use you for a quick booty call and never think twice about you again. People who care about you won't walk away.

If your mom could help support you, tell her. My Mom is the last person on earth I would tell anything. Some people are close to their mothers, though.

I come here everyday and browse through the forums. My DH asked me why, cause I'm fine with this now and I've accepted it for what it is. I'm here for you. I greatly appreciated the people who reached out to me when I thought for sure, 100% the world was coming to an end.

There is a lot of information in the links at the right. It is a good idea to educate yourself, what we can dream up is far worse than the reality of it.

Hang in there. :)

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TryingMyHardest

I just found out a couple hours too. I'm hurt and very angry. I was so faithful and committed to my boyfriend of 3 and a half years and this is what I get. I feels so awful right now, like I will never be able to find somebody who will love me with this awful stigma attached to me now. I really am hoping that this is a nightmare I'm going through, and I keep telling myself to wake up, but I can't. I really need a lot of support and help right now because it feels like I'm just going to explode.

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Butterfly of the Moment

Hello there, I have had genital herpes for 4 months now...I was in a 2 year relationship and we went on a break that lasted 3 months. I hooked up with a friend of a family member (went abroad to visit family) and he ended up giving me genital herpes. We had drank and he had pressured me after an hour of saying "No." Eventually I gave in. I had always wanted to get back together with my boyfriend. I flew home and a few days after the hookup I had symptoms and got tested and came back positive for herpes. I told my exboyfriend that I had genital herpes and that I got it from someone else. He flipped out and was so devastated not b/c I had herpes but b/c I could even fathom sleeping with someone else. (confusing b/c he was the one who wanted the break and didn't want to know if I did hook up with anyone else). Anyhow he didn't speak to me for like 6 hours and he wanted to meet up to talk and he told me he didn't care about the herpes b/c it won't kill him. But he loves me too much. SO if someone cares about you they will try to understand and overcome this. Take Care.

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Prinny973

please dont fall into a depression...later on you'll realize u can more than handle having herpes. PLUS there are plenty of people that will accept for who you are even with the condition...as well as there are people that will reject. You just have to be strong and love yourself regardless

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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  • Posts

    • Trace67
      It doesnt really mean much yet. They still dont know if the herpes is taking advantage of a diseased brain or causing the disease. Furthermore, there is evidence that Alzheimer's might be caused by oral spirochete disease and even Lyme. Many of you could have oral Spirochetes but the Lyme and is less likely. https://globallymealliance.org/pathogen-cause-alzheimers-disease/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5008232/ https://newsblog.drexel.edu/2016/02/10/do-infections-cause-alzheimers-disease/   Of course it could be both! Maybe having hsv-1 and oral spirochetes quadruples the risk.  In my opinion the spirochete theory sounds more likely and its hard to dismiss neurosurgeons and caretakers getting Alzheimers from a disease that was previously thought to be non contagious. I'd worry more about Spirochetes.  
    • Rgs77
      Did ldn work.
    • honkschonks
      I wonder if people in the military are tested for hsv, because the general public isn’t. You have to specifically ask for it and many doctors don’t even see the point because it’s “so common”. It’s very possible he has it and has no symptoms or very mild random symptoms. Sorry to hear what you’re dealing with. It seems like women’s symptoms are worse than men’s.
    • WilsoInAus
      No that’s not the issue at all. The absolute vast majority of nerve pain is not caused by herpes. Hence it cannot be used to reverse engineer a diagnosis of herpes. That is exceptinally dangerous and we must do all we can encourage proper diagnosis.
    • ill47
      Do you have an APOE4 gene? I do. I also have HSV-2, which so far hasn't been linked to dementia. Itzhaki previously found that cold sores occur more frequently in those who carry a gene variant that confers increased risk of Alzheimer’s called APOE-ε4. "Our theory is that in APOE-ε4 carriers, reactivation is more frequent or more harmful in HSV1-infected brain cells, which as a result accumulate damage that culminates in development of Alzheimer's," she said.

      So basically, if you carry the APOE4 gene and have oral HSV-1, you chances of dementia could be quite high. But if you have APOE4, your chances of dementia were higher already. Look, 80% of the population has HSV-1. 80% of the population does not get dementia. You also seem to skip over the fact that antiviral treatment can reduce the increased chances of dementia to almost nothing. "The striking results include evidence that the risk of senile dementia is much greater in those who are infected with HSV, and that anti-herpes antiviral treatment causes a dramatic decrease in number of those subjects severely affected by HSV1 who later develop dementia," Itzhaki said. The data from Taiwan only applies to the rare severe HSV1 or VZV infections. The next step will be to study dementia rates amongst people with mild HSV1 infections, including herpes labialis or mild genital herpes. "Considering that over 150 publications strongly support an HSV1 role in Alzheimer's, these Taiwan findings greatly justify usage of antiherpes antivirals - which are safe and well-tolerated - to treat Alzheimer's disease,” Itzhaki said."They also incentivize development of an HSV1 vaccine, which would likely be the most effective treatment." I think it behooves you to do your research and actually read the articles you are posting before pulling the alarm and trying to scare people. 
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