Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
MissPandora

Marriage

Recommended Posts

MissPandora

I've seen the stories of people being accepted by their non-H partners, but I'm wondering if any of these people ever get married. I'm very newly diagnosed, and I'm having fears that my chances of getting married to someone I love are squashed. I can't imagine a guy being okay with using condoms all through a marriage, and my only hope is to find someone that would be okay with catching it as a worse case scenario. Is there any hope?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JBnATL

Yes there is hope

I have dated many non h women and it has never been a problem for them. A couple we even talked about marriage and it wasn't even in the discussion.

I have been in other h chat rooms and have chatted with several people who have been married decades and never passed it along to their spouse.

There is hope for you.

Good luck!

JB

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
bluefish

Me and my ex-fiance didn't use condoms because we were both HIV negative. I was on suppressive therapy for a year and then went off of it. We were together a total of 3 years. He did get tested once and didn't have it. As far as I know he never contracted it.

I've known other people that have herpes and have gotten married to people without it.

There is hope - you are not doomed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
catiesmom

I just got married 3 months ago. I got it before i met my husband, and he didn't care. I told him, obviously, before putting him at risk, and the condom thing (which was his big deal, even before he knew about my H) didn't last very long. Now we only use them to avoid pregnancy. He really just doesn't care.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
chooseyourbattles

If people are willing to accept herpes for casual sex, there is no way in hell that more people won't be willing to accept it for marriage. Since herpes is primarily a social disease, not a physical one, if someone believes that you will be his last partner, he won't have to protect himself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Still Happy

Of course there is hope. There are two ways to look at it: one is that there are millions of people dealing with some form of HS, so many that your likely to come across one (or many) and at that point there is no issue right?

On the flip side if your dealing with a person who does not have it simply say "1 in 4 people have this skin condition and most don't even know they do. The odds of finding that one person who will care for you the way I will are 1 in a million." and see what they say to that :)

You don't need luck just believe in yourself. Your body has this tiny, tiny issue that your heart will totally eclipse in the eyes of those who will someday meet you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MissPandora

Thanks, you guys. It's just so hard when some guys are so scared of this virus. One of my guy friends (who's 35 I might add) is convinced that people with H *have* to only date people on STD dating sites. I know that I was always open minded enough to date someone with it (I felt this way before I got it), so I feel like my perfect match would be a pretty open minded person too. I'm open to the dating sites, but I don't want to always feel like a leper! Reading your stories gives me hope. It's hard when you feel all alone in this. I've always wanted to marry and have children...praying that God will make that happen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
catiesmom

Sounds like your friend is horribly underinformed. Sounds like the kind of person who wouldn't get a bump checked out just cause he's in denial. I hope he realizes there's a 25% chance he's got it already....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MissPandora

So true! This has already kind of ruined my friendship with him. I can't stand close minded people. And to think I almost dated him. He has said twice to me, "my ex girlfriend got herpes AFTER we broke up, thank God". I know it's cruel, but I hope he gets it. Ha!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
catiesmom

I had a guy say that to me one time too. He INSISTED it was AFTER. INSISTED. Then, of course, he didn't reciprocate any of my advances, and continues to hook up with these horrible girls. I would laugh so hard if he had it and just didn't want to tell me!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

Advertisement

Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      67,952
    • Total Posts
      453,075
  • Posts

    • friendlyboy
      Almost certainly that is not herpes. There are a number of diseases that can cause your symptoms, not all of them infectious. If you haven't done so already, go see a doctor as soon as you can.
    • friendlyboy
      Seems likely that you had an asymptomatic infection and now you are having very mild recurrences. Asymptomatic infection is by far the most common case, in particular for HSV1 positive people. It could be a genital reinfection with HSV1, unlikely, or most likely a new HSV2 infection, there is no way to tell without a blood test. It's been long enough for an IGG test but don't bother testing for HSV1, you can already assume you are positive and have been for most of your life. I don't know about how it is where you live, but where I live I don't need to ask any doctor to get tested, I can just go into a clinical lab and order the test for €40. If your test returns negative for HSV2, don't worry about putting her at any risk regarding HSV1, she will have the same risk from anyone else. Acyclovir cream won't do any good, you should stop it (it increases the risk of getting an acyclovir resistant strain). Otherwise, your recurrences are so mild and far apart that it isn't worth it to do any treatment for now, so don't be scared about your health, chances are it'll get better with time. AND ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM
    • lvlvlv4
      Doing a little research, it seems that Amenamevir  and Pritelivir are definitely not chemically identical. How similar are these drugs really? 
    • RHP10003
      I have been working out regularly after being diagnosed in may with ghsv1.  First 3 weeks were awful but haven’t had any OB, symptoms at all since.  I also haven’t been eating as healthy as I should be.  Feel like I never had it. Hope it stays this way.  I think working out helps.  Just my view so far. 
    • lvlvlv4
      Based on current HIV treatment, I would imagine they will create a one-pill combo of pritelivir and valtrex and sell it as a daily pill. But once a week pritelivir + valtrex might also work in the meantime. 
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.