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dstrattenfan

life after herpes

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dstrattenfan

How difficult is it to date after being diagnosed?

I got this from my x husband the bastard never told me he had it, then I get then he throws me and our daughter out on the street like we are garbage???! I don't know how people can do this to a person...

I just want to know if I can actually date again..I am not ready to be with anyone yet and this is one main reason why. I am terrified thinking of the rejection that I will get. MY GOD no one is going to want me now I guess my x was right when he said he would make it so no one would want me and I guess he did

What have ur experience brought you?

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FaithfulOne

I honestly am not (and hopefully won't be) on the dating scene, but from what I have read, it varies a great deal......Get to know the person first and abstain from sexual intercourse, obviously and then when you feel like the timing is right, I would approach that person by saying something along the lines of: "Have you been tested for STD's?" and then I would proceed to tell the person that you have also been and have cold sores and explain to the person that 80% of the population has this and that you just recently found out you did (or whatever your case is)

GOOGLE some "sample" talks about "How to tell someone I have Herpes" and there are numerous things to say that do not sound bad....Jut don't come out and say....Oh yea, I have Herpes, lol......Think & Practice what you are going to say...in advance.....Wishing you luck! I hope all goes well for you :)

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chilla
Jut don't come out and say....Oh yea, I have Herpes, lol

Lol what's wrong wit that? That's exactly how I plan on tellin my first guy I feel deserves to know. however he reacts is on him...I'm sure I won't feel like that when its actually time to say it lol but rite now...after I say it, ball is in his court.I've done what I needed to do.

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hman0217

What have ur experience brought you?

Well I am a guy but I have had a very successful dating life since I confirmed my herpes. I have told five of five potential sex partners about it and four out of five gave me the total green light. The fifth declined only out of respect for her long-time boyfriend back in Greece (disclaimer: I had no knowledge of the boyfriend factor)

Anyway, I find that I get a great deal of respect for being honest. Although people on this site share openly, I believe the majority of the people out there do NOT share their status (if they even know it). As trust is a major factor in relationships, whether long-term or short-term, I think the appreciation for the disclosure outweighs the miniscule risk of transmission when having sex protected and sans-outbreak.

Honestly, I did go into a short blah-phase after I first suspected and then confirmed it. But now I think my life is far better than its ever been. When you are radiating positive energy, THAT is what attracts people. Noone wants to be around a disease-free sack of bones with nothing going on inside.

Best wishes to you !

H

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dstrattenfan
Well I am a guy but I have had a very successful dating life since I confirmed my herpes. I have told five of five potential sex partners about it and four out of five gave me the total green light. The fifth declined only out of respect for her long-time boyfriend back in Greece (disclaimer: I had no knowledge of the boyfriend factor)

Anyway, I find that I get a great deal of respect for being honest. Although people on this site share openly, I believe the majority of the people out there do NOT share their status (if they even know it). As trust is a major factor in relationships, whether long-term or short-term, I think the appreciation for the disclosure outweighs the miniscule risk of transmission when having sex protected and sans-outbreak.

Honestly, I did go into a short blah-phase after I first suspected and then confirmed it. But now I think my life is far better than its ever been. When you are radiating positive energy, THAT is what attracts people. Noone wants to be around a disease-free sack of bones with nothing going on inside.

Best wishes to you !

H

Thank you I appreciate it!! I wish my x had told me and let me decided for myself

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chooseyourbattles

It will be easier than you think, but a little harder than it was before. I find the acceptance rate to be between 60-70% of people.

I find that I'm pretty good at guessing who will be okay with it and who won't. Maybe you can hone that ability too.

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CR25

getting jaded

Well I am a guy but I have had a very successful dating life since I confirmed my herpes. I have told five of five potential sex partners about it and four out of five gave me the total green light. The fifth declined only out of respect for her long-time boyfriend back in Greece (disclaimer: I had no knowledge of the boyfriend factor)

Anyway, I find that I get a great deal of respect for being honest.

That's so awesome. Do you mind if i ask your age and the age of the people you are dating? Bc i have not had such luck. I am 25 but tend to always find guys a few years younger. I look young and my personality is a little on the young side.

I got genital H 15 months ago. Although im not in nearly as bad a place as i was...im still struggling...i guess from all the rejection. Ya know...the more times you strike out, the less confidence you have the next time you go up to bat. And it's hard, i mean, we're all animals and require some degree of sexual interaction. im tired of this 15 month abstinent spell, but im an honest girl, always have been. Sometimes at music festivals when i get wasted, i tell random people about my H. I guess im trying to change the world.

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hman0217

That's so awesome. Do you mind if i ask your age and the age of the people you are dating? Bc i have not had such luck. I am 25 but tend to always find guys a few years younger. I look young and my personality is a little on the young side.

I got genital H 15 months ago. Although im not in nearly as bad a place as i was...im still struggling...i guess from all the rejection. Ya know...the more times you strike out, the less confidence you have the next time you go up to bat. And it's hard, i mean, we're all animals and require some degree of sexual interaction. im tired of this 15 month abstinent spell, but im an honest girl, always have been. Sometimes at music festivals when i get wasted, i tell random people about my H. I guess im trying to change the world.

Hi

Well I am 32 and my partners have ranged from mid/late 20s up to 40.

I can only share the world as I see it through my eyes. Two years ago around now, I had much external success but I felt unfulfilled on the inside. Sure, I would attract partners to me, but not really the ones which I felt I had great chemistry with...but I would just carry on because I generally didn't feel great about my life.

Then I quit my job went traveling around the world, learning new skills I enjoyed, developing myself as a teacher and finding a creative outlet in music. I have been living in New York City for the past year and WOW ! I can't believe how cool my life is when I wake up most mornings.

I stopped thinking about attracting people into my life and I stopped obsessing (well, relatively speaking) about the importance of money in my life and just created the life I wanted as I dream it every night.

I always admired certain people that had a certain glow to them. I always felt drawn towards them...like a strong attraction. I wanted what they had. What made them so happy ? And I think it is just working on themselves from the inside and finding what they love irregardless of the rest of the world's expectations. Look in, not out.

We are not trained to do that in mainstream society. But the go-with-the-flow mentality has only delivered mediocrity. Brilliance is following one's heart.

Again, i cannot pretend to know about everyone. I only know myself. What works for me may not work for someone else. But I do believe if you follow your internal compass, you WILL become so attractive that a little pesky thing like acne on the genitals won't phase those who are drawn to you. And for those who find to be an issue, it wasn't meant to happen in the first place.

Finally, I have to temper all this in saying in that I am not even perpetually idealistic and I most certainly have my off days. So it's not about getting it perfect, but more about moving oneself in the right direction....whatever that means for YOU.

Much Love

H

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