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appl3juice

Isolation at its worst.

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appl3juice

Hi guys.

I haven't posted on here in awhile, but I've decided to now because I am in a rut. A big rut. I've had HSV-2 for a year and a half. I'm used to it, I've accepted it, and I've really tried to move on from it. It just seems so impossible. I'm only nineteen years old, for Christ's sake, and I feel like nobody can ever love me. And truthfully, they can't, because I can't even love myself. I recently lost my best friend, so I really don't have anyone I can talk about this with... ever. I mean I have other friends who know about it but they're all dudes and just don't understand. No one seems to understand. They all tell me the same things: it's not as bad as it seems, you're a great catch, you'll find someone, etc etc. But since they don't know how it feels, or the awkward conversations you have to have with sexual partners, I don't really take them seriously. It's difficult.

Another thing: I don't have outbreaks that often, but I do have warts. Quite a few, actually. I don't have the money to remove them (right now). I feel like more and more keep popping up and I take Valtrex but it doesn't stop them from appearing. I can't even touch myself without feeling nauseous. It's gotten to the point where I can't be intimate whatsoever. Kissing is the farthest I can go without having to tell the person I'm with about my HSV-2.

In light of that problem, I've turned into a turtle. I live in this shell that I can't come out of. I want to come out of it, I really do, but every time I try I run into the same situation: I meet a cool guy, talk with that guy, flirt with that guy, eventually get to the point where I have to tell that guy that I have an STD, and he runs off. Never talks to me again.

This has happened so many times that I'm completely done with trying to pursue relationships. Now... now I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to again. If I'll ever find that one person I can relate to, and who won't care about my problem.

Aside from that, does anybody else have a problem with warts? If so, how do you deal with them?

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Guest Seatortuga

Warts are caused by HPV, not herpes. You will need to see a gynecologist, who can help you take care of it. Valtrex won't help HPV. Since you have warts, it seems that you have a low-risk HPV (Does high risk HPV cause warts, too? I'm not sure) but you want to make sure you don't have high risk HPV, which can cause cervical cancer. The good news is, your immune system clears HPV on its own within two years, about 90% of the time.

Sure wish herpes would pack up and move out, huh?:rolleyes:

I'm only 20, and I have a really great boyfriend. It's actually pretty good that you at least have some friend to discuss this with, the only person in this world who knows I have herpes, is my bf. Your friends may be boys, but maybe you should give them a chance, ya know?

And remember, a lot of times when you quit trying is when someone will come along, so just relax and enjoy yourself, K?

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WarriorKing

While you don't have to only date within the H community, remember that there are thousands of men active in these communities as well. They are looking for someone to love them as well.

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appl3juice

In reply...

Seatortuga, you are correct about the HPV thing. And I do have HPV, or at least I did. I haven't been to my gynecologist in awhile, but the last time I went she told me it was low-risk. I guess I haven't done a lot of research on it, because I don't know whether the warts stay even if the HPV is gone. Maybe I should do some more homework with that.

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chooseyourbattles

I have warts too, but I only had one outbreak that didn't go away on its own. I used Condylox. Warts are low-risk, and they go away if/when the HPV does.

As for the dating thing, maybe you should consider one of your male friends, if they seem so unconcerned. I hear these stories of constant rejection, but that simply hasn't been my experience, and I'm not much older than you. I tend to think that there could be something else going on, that might pose a problem for you as well.

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andli

i have high risk hpv,

i will test it the end of this month. hopefully it will go (8 months post infection)

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Ripley Scott

Hey girl--

I'm 19, too. I got the herp when I was raped at 16, but I didn't really outbreak til about 8 months ago.

I've also accepted it, I've also come to terms with it, and I'm also trying to move on... But you're right. It DOES suck. I haven't told anyone except some of my family members; however, I'm fortunate that all four of my parents have HSV2 and my sister has pretty bad HSV1, so I realize I probably have more of a support system than you do.

But you know, I also think the problem lies in the age bracket we're in. Think about your perception of herpes before you were inoculated. A lot of people our age will think that people who have herpes are dirty, are ****s, are blah blah blah. That sucks, but it's not forever. People grow up. People stop being young and stupid. And you will find the right person who, despite their age, will listen and will accept you.

I haven't yet found a guy yet, either; I haven't had a boyfriend since being 16 and haven't really tried.

But I understand where you're coming from. If you ever need someone to vent to, you've got this site and its members. Good luck, girl.

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