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bsp09

Soo angry

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bsp09

I was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 at the beginning of September. I got it from oral sex with my boyfriend when he had a cold sore. I had one really bad outbreak right at the beginning and have been fine ever since. I honestly forgot that I even had it until today...when my boyfriend broke up with me. We've been together almost two years, we had plans to move in together, we've talked about getting married. And all of the sudden he decides to throw it away, for reasons I don't really understand. I was already pissed off, and then suddenly I remembered that I had herpes, and now my anger is through the roof. I'm sooo pissed off at him for giving this to me and leaving me alone. He was so understanding and supportive when I was diagnosed, which had a lot to do with my why I took it so well. I figured everything would be fine because we were going to be together forever, and I would never have to deal with having to start a new relationship and have "the talk" with someone. Now it's all I can think about. I just feel so dirty, like no one's ever going to want me. I know that this is just the anger talking, and I know that there will be someone out there who will be understanding and supportive, but this is how I feel right now.

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JBnATL

It WILL get better

You did not mention if you had HSV1 genital or oral. If oral, you mearly have coldsores. Yes they are herpes, but not generally seen as something bad. And if you have it genital, then guess what, you have cold sores, just in a different place.

That is how I give the 'talk'. I try and equate what I have to cold sores, since the two different types are almost identical.

You are lucky to have HSV1, since that is the more mild form.

I have had this many years, and it means nothing to me. I have dated many non - h women and have never passed it along.

Goodluck. come into the live chat room, many nice people there.

Take care.

JB

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justmyself

Sorry to hear about your bad breakup. But don't look at it as the end of your dating life because it is FAR from it!

Genital HSV1 doesn't shed as much as genital HSV2. And it is more difficult for a woman to pass genital herpes onto a man. Read up on the statistics. About 80-90% of people already have HSV1 at least orally, and therefore, would not get it from you genitally. Disclose that you have HSV1 and you get cold sores. You are not lying. And chances are, they get them too anyway! Have a potential partner get tested and they could show up having HSV1. Then you're good to go!

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dumplinsmom

I know exactly where you're coming from. You feel betrayed that not only did this person give you H but know they left you alone to deal with it. I read a lot of responses on here about how others had met someone despite their condition and I wonder if it will ever happen for me. I just got out of a really bad situation with the person I got H from. I hung on to this man solely because I was afraid I would never find someone else to love me. I allowed him to treat me badly and knew I deserved better. I've decided that it's time for me to begin working on me. I'm not going to focus on "will I ever have another man again". At this point, I'm like if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. There's nothing I can do to change my situation so.....

Also, I see you're from Michigan too, not sure which part but if you want to talk to someone, I'm here to listen.

Keep your head up! Wow, that sounds funny coming from me right now considering my situation...... :)

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MsLucy
I was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 at the beginning of September. I got it from oral sex with my boyfriend when he had a cold sore. .....

I'm sooo pissed off at him for giving this to me and leaving me alone.

I understand your feelings about breaking up. It's a traumatic event, whatever the reason. You feel abandoned, and confused and... angry. Understandable. I feel the need to point out, though, that your anger at him for giving you herpes is misplaced. You knew he had a cold sore and you let him perform oral sex on you... a mistake you own half of. Neither of you probably realized what the consequence could be, but nonetheless, you were a consenting partner.

Be angry with him, if you must, for leaving you, and betraying your trust in his love. No one can guarantee that their love for another will last forever, though. Sadly, sometimes love just wears out and fades away. That's why we should never take it for granted.

I hope you feel better soon. I know it may not seem like it now, but you'll love (and be loved) again. Be confident of that. Even if you try to hide from it, love will find you.

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justmyself

bsp09 and dumplinsmom, I'm from MI too! Metro Detroit area. There is a GREAT support group in the area if you guys are interested. Send me a private message if you want!

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bsp09

Thanks everyone for all your kind words and support! I'm feeling a little better now, that was just my initial anger, and I realize that most of that anger was directed towards the breakup. I don't blame him for "giving me" herpes, because like MsLucy pointed out, I am just as much at fault as he is. I know that when the time is right I will find someone who will love and accept me no matter what. :)

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    • WilsoInAus
      But you were probably also exposed to HSV-1,2,3,4,5,6ab,7,8. There are also about 80 other human viruses and you would have been exposed to a dozen of those. There are tens of different bacteria that also transmit during sexual activity. There are also hundreds of possible  causes generated with your body.  
    • RainyDay2
      The sad part is I was exposed to HSV 2 so judging by what information Im told, If I had herpes mine would almost definitely show up on an IGG test by now.  Supposedly I’d have less than an 8% chance of it not showing up on a blood test. All I can do is go off the information Im given.   My thing is this: I need to know what is causing this.  If the medical world wants to tell me that I dont have herpes, fine.  What is it that I have then? And how do I get rid of it? Otherwise, being negative for herpes means nothing to me.  Because Im still positive for something, and they cant even figure out what the hell it is! Because my body definitely changed after I was exposed to it.  
    • WilsoInAus
      That’s incorrect for recent infections where it nears 100%. Those people have a positive swab.
    • WilsoInAus
      Herpes is not some default magic rabbit that comes out of the hat and makes sense out of the irrational.
    • MikeIke
      @RainyDay2 i am about to pull out the big bht guns. Hey if i can get rid of the symptoms forever and never blow positive, ill take it. My other thought was hpv but i know i was exposed. The last clinician i saw definitely thought my lip things looked herpetic and sajd she's seen urethral herpes before too.    Igg can be forever negative in some, i have heard hsv1 has less accuracy with igg
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