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I cant afford sex.

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At my doctors appointment yesterday , I explained to them my situation. I think I have herpes, and I have not had sex since I suspected I had it. I explained to them i want an answer, I need to know if I have something that I can spread on to someone else. The doctor did not answer any of my questions, instead she tried to get me to go on birth control. I argued that there is no need, because I will not be having sex, no one night stands, nothing. she didnt seem to understand, instead, she gave me the look, I could read her thoughts just from what she did with her eyebrows. ''herpes can take monthes to determine and diagnose, she is going to give up sex r that long because of this??''

I understand that this clinic deal with alot of sexually active teenager, but the truth is I dont intend on having sex at this point of time of my life. Because its too darn expensive. let me explain my expenses in the last 12 months.

I have had sex no more then 8 times in the last year, and in the last year I have spent 300$ on pain killers and anti biotics for UTIs which I get everytime I have sex, which take 5 days to heal with no more pain.

Then, whatever is wrong with me now, they diagnosed it first as a yeast infection, so I bought the cream and about 3 pills plus what the hospital perscribed. so that was about 100$

Then, they diagnosed me with impetigo , They perscribed me with anti biotic cream 3 refills. so all together it was 90$

Now, they are telling me that if I did have herpes, That I woul have to pay 70$ for each treatment. meaning 70$ per outbreak.

I seriously need to goto university and get a darn good career, to be able to afford a husband!

then after I explained this to the nurse, she was like ''oh ok, well do you need any condoms'' and i replied ''no i still have the ones you gave me 8 monthes ago'' .. again gave me a wierd look.

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Guest Seatortuga

Hahaha, and the hookers in Nevada are charging 2000 an hour!

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Hey OIC,

You were talking about $70 a treatment. I know that treatments vary depending on the type of herpes you have, the severity of the outbreak, and what your doctor and you discuss, but if $70 is the going rate for that clinic, might I suggest trying to visit a Planned Parenthood (if you live in an area supported by one)?

I myself am currently an unemployed college instructor with no health insurance. Right now life in these United States can be very difficult for all walks of life, but Planned Parenthood has been helping me out in terms of birth control, condoms, pap smears, pelvic exams, and STI screening and treatment for years. I'm not trying to make it sound like an advertisement, but I think that it's a great organization and would recommend it if it makes things easier for you.

Hope that helps!

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Yes, PP can sometimes help...

but maybe you should also know that some treatments for herpes are much more expensive, but not necessarily better, than other treatments. For instance, Valtrex costs a lot but Accyclovir, which is pretty much the same thing chemically, costs a LOT less. Also, many doctors believe that antiviral drugs should only be used during an outbreak. For chronic outbreaks, they sometimes ask you to take it for a while, sometimes in heavy doses but you would need to ask the doctor about that. I went through a time a couple of years ago with chronic, repeated outbreaks and I took a large dose of Accyclovir for three months and it really did help.

But, eventually, you may not have to take meds at all. Some doctors believe it is better if you can develop antibodies on your own instead of taking meds so they recommend meds only when absolutely necessary. I only take Valtrex (I had to fight my insurance company to get it at a reasonable price) during a serious outbreak, maybe once a year. My doctor also recommends Valtrex (or Accyclovir) for hsv related UTIs along with or instead of an antibiotic.

Consider that you may get better as the years go by. Within a year or two you may have very few or no outbreaks (let's hope!) so things might get better for you. And they are going to be coming out with some new medical management techniques for hsv in the near future.

I also take Lysine (in liquid form), vitamin c (ester-C in powdered form), ginseng capsules every day and a multivitamin. And I try and drink a lot of water. I also listen to comedy albums and read funny books, trying to boost my immune system and have some fun at the same time.

So you may not need meds in the long run and maybe for now you could get hold of some Accyclovir either at your clinic or on the Internet.

I hope things get better for you soon.

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Thanks for the extra information, Brainy Blonde!

I get acyclovir through Planned Parenthood. I so far am very happy with it and have not experienced any outbreaks. However, I know popping those pills can't go on forever, so I sometimes worry about how my body will react once I decided to stop the suppressive therapy.

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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  • Posts

    • TCBH
      You don't put it down there. you put it on your arm. 
    • luvurself16
      I got hsv from a police officer. Sickos out there.
    • Toro
      I am 44 and I have active herpes in both of my eyes.Only Amenalief helps.
    • Jayne
      I know this thread is a couple of years old, but it’s been helpful to me, and I wanted to contribute as well. Back to Berliner’s original post, I’ve tested negative on several IGGs, with the latest ones being 1 yr and now almost 2 years past exposure.  Figuring out what was going on was the worst nightmare I’ve ever been through in my life. I made the mistake of drinking heavily a week after my father died of cancer, and I had unprotected AS with an ex, who happened to be poly and had some occasional unprotected M2M encounters.   Three days later I had a red line rash along my (sorry to get explicit) crack. This was followed by a rectal burning. Tested negative for G&C and related tests.  Over the next couple of weeks I had severe swelling and discomfort in my lower right quadrant and was told to go to the ER, where (I guess as a standard practice) they did a cat scan, which revealed nothing.  Also not a bacterial infection.  However the repeated manual examinations that occurred at urgent care and the ER seemed to relieve the abdominal pressure over the next few days.  I then had diarrhea for the next several weeks after.  I developed what felt like internal hemorrhoids, which were exacerbated by the diarrhea, and a gastro doctor confirmed via digital exam that there was indeed some sort of mass that felt like possible hemorrhoids. He ordered a sigmoidoscopy, but by the time it was undertaken, whatever was there was gone. After the procedure though, I felt much better for a while, possibly due to digestive issues clearing up after the colon “cleanse.” But this was concurrent with other issues.   About 3 weeks after the encounter I developed a large rash on my left thigh. Shortly thereafter I started having light sensitivity issues, culminating in a fever-like state after being outside in the sun only for 15 minutes after work. At work around that time for a couple days I felt like I was going through life encased in a gauzy gel- similar to being on laughing gas at the dentist, but not in a good way. I didn’t know what the hell was happening to me. I developed a severe case of canker sores for about a day. Later during a sunny drive, after getting back in the car at a gas station I noticed a red blotch below my lip. I tried to shrug it off but it happened again on the trip back.  So by about a month after the encounter I was having more anxiety. I spent the night at a friend’s house and woke up with a massive, swollen red eye and swollen lips. I got eye drops for bacterial conjunctivitis but that was wishful thinking.  A couple of weeks later, my lips were covered in sores. I smothered them with abreva. By the next day, they had mostly gone away. I tried to do a swab test at urgent care (I believe it was the next day), but there was not enough there to make any sort of positive diagnosis. Since then, I’ve had what you could call repeated aborted lesions and red blotches that appear around my mouth, particularly after stress and alcohol consumption. But even having peanut butter or chocolate would set it off for a long time. Fair skin doesn’t help- there was no hiding it. Two months after the encounter, I had my first vaginal burning- it was pretty intense and I had to use ice cubes because I didn’t know what else to do.   The worse feeling though was the periodic flare-ups of rectal itching/burning, often accompanied by another red line rash. It made sitting uncomfortable for about the next two months. I couldn’t wear pants at work- only skirts seemed to make things somewhat less irritated. And for the first three months, I was still testing for HIV along with HSV because of the overlapping symptoms (rash, diarrhea, neural pain, severe flu like symptoms without fever). I lost a lot of weight and had panic attacks. On top of all this I had just moved to a new city and started a new job and didn’t have a support network. And the sad thing is, I had to deal with all of this instead of being able to grieve for my father and being a better source of support to my mother. She had to support me without understanding what was happening.   Another bad thing through all of this was having both my ex and my current partner treat me like I’m crazy. That makes me feel alone and in the dark. Another “hysterical woman.” F*** that.  And while I felt grateful that my current was at the time still ready to be with me even if I had hsv, it’s a little discomfiting that he still doesn’t really believe me. But I’ve learned to live with ambiguity. And now I’m used to doctors as well as partners acting like this is nonexistent. Especially with negative IGG tests even 2 years later, which have left me without any answers.  I’m lucky in a way to be able to blend in because I don’t get obvious sores, genitally or orally (I can cover up the blotches with concealer, and they fortunately have lessened in frequency). But I still get the rectal itching/burning every six months or so (anthistamines seem to alleviate it a bit). And as more of a concern, I’ve had a cramp in my lower right quadrant ever since, which feels like it’s in my digestive tract. Since this has pretty much spread everywhere else in my body, intestinal involvement wouldn’t surprise me, and it isn’t unheard of anyways. I’ve tried to move past this and have since gotten married to my partner, who is a source of support (even if he doesn’t believe I’m having health problems. I know that’s a contradiction but occasionally I want to believe that too.).  I’m also newly pregnant, and symptoms have started to flare up again somewhat. I’m sure this will be an adventure. Hopefully more good than crazy. I know I’m going to struggle with the fear of passing this along but I’m trying to reconcile what doctors say (which is that it is extremely rare) with my own intuition about what I need to be careful of. Maybe I’ll repost with an update down the road. In short, there are people out there who test negative and have to live with loved ones and doctors thinking that a negative test closes the book on this. Again, learning to live with ambiguity is a real life lesson that I’m still coming to grips with. This forum and specifically this post have been a source of comfort that I haven’t been able to find elsewhere. Thanks everyone for the support for the community.     
    • Rockster
      You deepthroat so good that you get all kinds of mouth-to-skin-of-base contact? Kudos to you, but that is extremely rare. 

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