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Not Sure

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Not Sure

Hello everyone! My wife of 20 years died from cancer 4 years ago. I have gone back into the singles arena and someday hope to find that new mate. I met someone about 2 months ago and things were progressing very well. She might be that new mate. A couple days ago she told me that she has herpes and has had it since the 90's.

We had not been intimate yet and I respected her telling me when she did. Her outbreaks appear only on her lower back for some reason. Hasn't appeared on her thighs or vaginal area? Does anyone know if there is any significance to that?

She takes Zovarix(sp) daily. She said that her tests were negative back when they told her?? We both plan to get STD tests now!

I don't want this to end our relationship. Other than this great forum are there any suggestions for reading materials. I'm 60 now and can't see this stopping a good thing. I survived cancer in 1997 so I should be able to get thru this.

Thoughts and comments are appreciated!

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If she only gets outbreaks on her back, it's possible she has herpes gladitorium (wrestler's herpes, or, basically, herpes anywhere else).

Please do get tested. There's a great chance you've already got herpes. Most of the herpes gladitorium (i hope i'm spelling that right) is caused by HSV-1. Most oral cold sores are caused by HSV-1. So there's a great chance that you've contracted HSV-1 (it's the most common form and can be easily passed through an innoncent kiss) and therefore would have some immunity to what she's got. But you'll both want to be tested completely (and be sure you ask SPECIFICALLY for a herpes test - doctors don't like to give them because just about everyone comes up positive, so sometimes you have to PUSH!).

Best of luck to you and your lady friend! I certainly wouldn't think this would be something to end your relationship over!

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Now that you are 60 and have had your own issues, you have a wiser view of life than the younger people that have to deal with this issue. The two of you can decide together what level of protection that you want to put in place. Even with that protection in place there would be some chance that you could get H. The decision is yours. Learn as much as you can.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

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    • WilsoInAus
      But you were probably also exposed to HSV-1,2,3,4,5,6ab,7,8. There are also about 80 other human viruses and you would have been exposed to a dozen of those. There are tens of different bacteria that also transmit during sexual activity. There are also hundreds of possible  causes generated with your body.  
    • RainyDay2
      The sad part is I was exposed to HSV 2 so judging by what information Im told, If I had herpes mine would almost definitely show up on an IGG test by now.  Supposedly I’d have less than an 8% chance of it not showing up on a blood test. All I can do is go off the information Im given.   My thing is this: I need to know what is causing this.  If the medical world wants to tell me that I dont have herpes, fine.  What is it that I have then? And how do I get rid of it? Otherwise, being negative for herpes means nothing to me.  Because Im still positive for something, and they cant even figure out what the hell it is! Because my body definitely changed after I was exposed to it.  
    • WilsoInAus
      That’s incorrect for recent infections where it nears 100%. Those people have a positive swab.
    • WilsoInAus
      Herpes is not some default magic rabbit that comes out of the hat and makes sense out of the irrational.
    • MikeIke
      @RainyDay2 i am about to pull out the big bht guns. Hey if i can get rid of the symptoms forever and never blow positive, ill take it. My other thought was hpv but i know i was exposed. The last clinician i saw definitely thought my lip things looked herpetic and sajd she's seen urethral herpes before too.    Igg can be forever negative in some, i have heard hsv1 has less accuracy with igg

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