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pointing fingers

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I have just been tested for herpies 1or 2 or both. I will know my results in a few days I have no symptoms so i am crossing my fingers. the guy who i have been with we have not practiced safe sex. we both are seperated. he has been telling me that him and his wife are just good friends come to find out he has been enjoying both of us sexually. she decided to get tested after she saw me in his bed. she has been tested positive for genital herpies so I went to get tested. he is trying to point fingers and narrow it down. he needs to blame himself for not useing any protection and I am to blame for not insisting that he wear a condom. the finger needs to be pointed at us not trying to narrow it down to who it could of been. it has been a big wake up call for me. weither i have it or not there will always be a condom worn by my partner!

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Butterfly of the Moment

The man or his wife may have had the virus for a very long time from previous relationships/relations with other people before their marriage. And since not one of you have symptoms, it will be very difficult to know who gave what to whom. Almost half if not more of people who have genital herpes/oral herpes, do not have symptoms or symptoms they recognize as herpes. For some people they get a rash or a little itch but never sores. It's possible for a couple to never pass the virus on to eachother even if they've had sex for years. And condoms don't offer full protection. Many people on this forum have gotten genital herpes even when they used a condom. All that is required to pass on the virus is skin to skin contact with the infected area and a condom doesn't cover the entire area around the groin. It's good that you are getting tested, but I would never talk to the prick again.

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Yes just because one person has it does not mean you will get it

even though you have unprotected sex with someone who may have herpes, does not mean you will automatically get it as well. I have had plenty of unprotected sex with non h women and have never passed it along.

Good luck with your test results. Hopefully you are not a member of our 'club'.


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Good luck with the test results

But even if you had used a condom, it would not have provided full protection from herpes as herpes can be caught even if you use a condom, as many on here will attest from their own experiences. The truth is, people who get herpes are not careless, or promiscuous or foolish, they are unlucky.

I hope your luck runs good with this one and that it turns out you don't have it. Remember that a swab test must be done on an active outbreak at the height of the outbreak and a blood test must be done at least 3 months from time of exposure to be accurate. And if it's a blood test, then be sure it's the kind that tells which type of hsv you might have.

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Best of luck to you... I know how scary this can be..

Live, Laugh, Love


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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • MrKyGuy
      I hooked up with a girl yesterday and I lightly kissed her on the lips four or five times - these were not heavy deep kisses.  As she was leaving I noticed that she had a cold sore that was healing (scabbed) on the top part of her lip. My lips definitely made contact with the scab. I’ve never had a cold sore and my last std test was negative for everything . Any chance I don’t end up with HSV1 on my mouth now after this incident? I know it’s not the end of the world but everything I read says these sores are crazy contagious and primary outbreaks in adults can be brutal. Any insight is greatly appreciated 
    • dont quit!17
      From what I understand shedding studies are expensive but even getting quotes and estimates on this especially in a clinical setting would be a step in the right direction. @destroyhsv, maybe you can look up labcorp or quest diagnostics and call for an estimate or any local labs in your area. 
    • MyOhMy2018
      Hello everyone, Long story short - I had my first outbreak about a year ago, got swabbed and turned out positive to HSV-2. For the first month, I only took valaciclovir when I had an outbreak but seeing that I still had back to back outbreaks, the doctor decided to put me on suppressive therapy. This has never really helped, unfortunately. In the summer, I had no outbreaks for like one and half month but apart from that, I've been having outbreaks every other week. I saw a dermatologist about two weeks ago and he swabbed another lesion that was in my mouth, which in turn revealed positive to HSV-1, although I was on valtrex at that time. He seemed very surprised and said that not responding to valaciclovir is something extremely rare... But reading testimonies here, it doesn't seem to be as rare as people think. The last two~three weeks have been the worst for me: my outbreaks won't stop and it seems to be getting worst and worst. 2 days ago, my doctor put me on the non-generic valaciclovir  just to see if I responded better to the "real" drug but this has not helped so far.  I'm a healthy adult, I eat well, get plenty of sleep (I even take naps ) and exercise 4 to 5 days a week. I supplement daily with organic acerola vitamin C (1000mg), lysine (1 to 2g) and magnesium (500 mg to 1g) and take 1 x 500mg valtrex in the morning and evening.  I'd like to hear stories of people who managed to stop or at least reduce their recurrences and what worked for them. I really need help because that is killing my sexual life, and I'm not even 30. I've read a lot of studies on the internet about people developing resistance to ACV and the likes but none of them mentions an alternative solution for people like me. Actually, I'm not even sure I have developed resistance to ACV because the drug never really worked for me. Moreover, the very few acknowledged ACV resistant cases were in majority immunocompromised patients and as far as I know, this is not my case. I wouldn't really care about that virus if I had only one or two outbreaks a year, but having it non-stop is very hard to handle psychologically. I can't have sex, drink, eat chocolate... Even read that exercising too much could trigger outbreaks. What's left for me to do? Shave my head, go to Bhutan, live with the monks and meditate 12 hours a day?
    • vzhe
      I'd participate and pay for it if you figure out how to do a shedding study. I don't think anything other than a shedding study makes sense.
    • WilsoInAus
      HSV-2 is only required to be disclosed in some states of the US if and only if you know or could have been reasonably expected to know you have it. There are no laws surrounding HSV-1 disclosure or transmission.

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