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I was just diagnosed in June of this year with genital herpes...and I have been having a VERY hard time with it. I feel like I should have known better and protected myself. I am kind of going through this self loathing stage...I even wanted to commit suicide.

I was dating this lawyer for a couple of months and one day I saw something on his penis and knew immediately that it was herpes. I am in the medical profession and have had a lot of classes that covered STDs/STI's. It was in vesicle form and I told him what it looked like and he just laughed at me and said that it was a rash from us having sex the day before. I was really stupid and continued having sex with him because I wanted to believe him so bad... I knew I was so completely stupid! I saw the vesicles on Sat and by monday I showed signs of a primary outbreak...full blown! I

had a fever, malaise and these cuts formed that later turned into these large open wounds! I told him and he still denied that it was herpes...it kept getting worse until finally by friday I went to the doctor. I described them to the nurse as herpetic lesions because I knew that that was what they were...he was actually very unkind and told me he hoped my boyfriend loved me because pretty much now I was "stuck with him". When I finally saw the gynocologist she was the same way. She said that it was definitely genital herpes but because my lesions were open (which my new gynocologist informed me is the BEST time to do a swab test) she could not do a swab test but could do a blood test...that came out negative which I was told would if it was my primary outbreak..which it was!

I made my boyfriend at the time get tested but he waited until his lesions scabbed over and went away before going in and claimed that his blood test was negative too! I still don't know if that was true or not!

I started getting outbreaks every two weeks since June and finally my boyfriend and I broke up because I couldn't get over the fact that he gave it to me and still TO THIS DAY still denies having it himself! He said that I could have gotten it from someone else but I SAW the lesions on him! For all I know he is out giving it to someone else!

I finally found a really nice gynocologist in September that did a swab test (thanks to my bimonthly outbreaks) and a blood test... she said my tests came back kind of strange because the swab test tested positive for type 1 herpes but the blood test came back as type 2...is that possible?!

I guess I am on here because I just need to talk to people that are going through the same thing. Everyone seems so nice on this blog and its great knowing that I am not alone!

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You are probably right and he probably does have it and he will continue to spread it. Guys and gals that refuse to look at the real world have played a large part in the spread of H and other things.

It looks like you hit two home runs in a row by finding a doctor that said you were "stuck" with the bad guy. That is completed ridiculous. There are a lot of good people in this world that will want you.

You will find a very large support community here.

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you are not alone

I am glad you found a good doctor, that is so important! I too have a wonderful doctor. He tried to be so optimistic, but my blood test came back postive. He did not do swap test because I was not broken out, just had a small tear. I was exposed in July and knew almost immediately that something was wrong, it took 2 months to be diagnosed.

I did not notice any lesions or blisters on the man that gave this to me, I do however remember him being really "red", I didn't think anything about it. He swears to me he didn't know. He was tested 3 weeks ago, I have not heard what the results are, doesn't matter because I KNOW he is positive.

I too am having many outbreaks, hopefully that will end soon. Are you on any anti-virals? and are you taking Lysine? I take both, and other vitamins, I can't tell that they are helping. I really think it is the stress I am under.

As far as your blood test and swap test showing different types I am unsure of the answer to that question. Maybe someone else here has some helpful info. Hang in there!!! and again you are NOT alone;)

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It is NOT possible for the blood test to pick up on one type in different ways. If your tests are to be believed, you have HSV-2 genitally (where the swab was) and you also have HSV-1 somewhere. Most likely orally. It IS possible that your blood test didn't pick up on the newer HSV-2 infection, and, as much as you like this doctor, it IS possible they interpreted the results incorrectly. As you've already seen, doctors don't always know best even if they do have good bedside manner.

My suggestion is to retest.

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Welcome to the club!

Hi, your profile says you are from CA. Hopefully you live near a metro area. Most metro areas have herpes support groups. Perhaps you could attend a support meeting. There you will see others just like you living with this disease. Here are the one's in California:

- Los Angeles HELP -

Los Angeles Help

P.O. Box 2881, Culver City, CA 90230

Ph: (310) 281-7511 or (323) 653-5725

- Northern California HELP -

Solano Clinical Research

Ph: (707) 643-5785 Vallejo Group

Ph: (530) 757-7797 Davis Group


- Orange County HELP -

Orange County HELP

P.O. Box 4326, Orange, CA 92613

Ph: (949) 753-2580

- Sacramento HELP -

Sacramento Help

P.O. Box 1817, Rancho Cordova, CA 95741-1817

Ph: (916) 557-8733

- San Diego City HELP -

San Diego Help

P.O. Box 82143, San Diego, CA 92138-2143

(619) 491-1194

- San Francisco HELP -

San Francisco Help



Ph: (650) 387-4784 or (650) 704-4021

Contact: Allen (Please no calls after 10 PM)

Meetings on the third Wednesday of every month at 7:30 p.m., St. Mary's Hospital, 450 Stanyan Street, 3-East Conference Room.

- Santa Rosa HELP -

Santa Rosa Help c/o Marsha Lose

R.N. Community Hospital 3325 Chanate Road Santa Rosa, CA 95404

Ph: (707) 576-4307 or (707) 573-8442

- South Bay HELP -

South Bay Help

P.O. Box 4225 Mt. View, CA 94040

Ph: (408) 296-1444

- Valley HELP -

Valley Help

P.O. Box 8252 Mission Hills, CA 91346-8252

Ph: (818) 377-3271

Good luck!


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Thank you!

Thank you everyone for your replies! They are so supportive and kind!

I am right now on Valtrex and since I have been put on it about every week or so I get a little itchiness and discharge but don't actually get the lesions...which I am VERY thankful for! Those hurt SO BAD!

I haven't tried lysine but now I am going to go to the drug store and get some supplements! Thanks!

I also live in the San Diego area so I will definitely check out the support groups.

I made the mistake of telling one of my ex's that I had it because he was trying to get back together with me...he COMPLETELY ridiculed me! He told me I was dirty and how no one would EVER want me again because I had an STD...want to hear the messed up part? He is an anesthesiologist! A Dr! And he was saying such mean things to me!

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

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