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keeptruckin

Found out Thursday..

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keeptruckin

I just found out on Thursday afternoon that I have genital herpes. The test results don't come in for another few days but my doctor was more than certain and has put me on some medicine, which since I have been on it I am feeling a lot better.

I was devastated and so angry when I found out. Wondering how I could be so careless. I never just "hook up" with someone...especially without protection. I'm only 21 and I have so much to live for and so much ahead of me and all I could think was if I just had a rewind button...and that no one is going to want to be with me now..I'm 21 and my doctor just told me that when I start seeing someone and I'm ready to take "that step," to make sure I make an appointment with him so that we can go over the options and precautions to take...that was oddly the worse part for me. It made me cry anytime I thought about it...

The doctor said he is pretty much positive that I got it from the person I had unprotected sex with. He said the symptoms came on way too quick, (literally the next day) for it to be from anyone else, since I hadn't had sex in almost a year. Much less unprotected in God knows when.

I told the guy that I got it from. He was, to my great relief, so supportive and understanding. He was unaware that he even had it. He said that he had just got tested because he had started seeing someone and his results just came back as being negative for anything, but I think he may have been with her in between getting his results back and when him and I were together, so I believe that's when he got it...and then I got it. If he wasn't so supportive, and checking in on seeing how I am doing, I really don't know how I would've handled this. And whenever we discuss it, he always says "we." "we will get threw this," "we will figure something out." and oddly that has helped me out so much. It makes me feel like I'm not alone...He is suppose to get tested again sometime this week.

I have told 2 of my friends about it, and they were unbelievably supportive as well. I decided to tell my parents and brother today, which oddly went way better than I thought. I was worried that they were going to think that I was sleeping around or something, but I realized it doesn't matter if they think that, because I know I wasn't. I just made a mistake by not using protection, and there's nothing I can do about it now so I don't need to sit and dwell on it. I'm happy to be alive and I'm happy to know that I am in good health and that will help keep me fighting this. I'm not going to let it stop me from going out and being young and having fun. I'm 21, I still have my whole life ahead of me, and I plan on living my whole life. Yes, it will be different. I'll have to be more cautious...and yes, maybe today just is a good day, and tomorrow I'll be in bed crying thinking I shouldn't have done what I did...but I did it. And there's no turning back. Only looking forward.

My biggest obstacle I think will be stress. I'm a huge stress-ball so i'm going to be working very hard on staying relaxed, taking my vitamins, and do the best and everything I can to take care of myself and take control of this. I have been on this website so much since Thursday, and everything on here has helped me out so much. Realizing that I don't need to completely change my life because of this. People on here are so supportive, amazing, and just normal....and it just shows how common this is.. Being on here makes me realize that the world isn't stopping...sure it may seem like it's slowing down every now and then, but it's not going to stop. I wont let it.

Wow..that was a lot more writing than I intended. Thank you if anyone read it. It's nice to vent.

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WarriorKing

I got H when I was 20. Now I am 51.

There are a million things for you to do in life and none of that has changed.

You cannot be free loving when it comes to sex, but then again no one really should be. HIV changed all the rules.

It could be that you marry this guy and live happily ever after. If not, because you have H, you just have to be more selective in picking future partners, inform them, and be cautious to avoid spreading H.

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keeptruckin

Yes, Thank you. I'm going to take as many precautions as I can, when that decision is to be made...it definitely made me feel better knowing that you got it about my age and that it hasn't stopped you any

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