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Pouchoflove

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Pouchoflove

I recently started dating this really awesome guy... I'm so madly in love with him... and haven't had to worry about an ob since one hasn't occured since we began dating. We've been dating for about 4 months... He seems really into me... Im currently have an OB right on my top and bottom lip, it's swollen like a ballon... and I'm trying to avoid any contact with him. I tell him it's school related, but when in reality I just don't have the guts to face him. He's getting really sad that he isn't able to see me it's been a little over a week... I can't bring myself to tell him. If he finds out and leaves me, I would be so crushed..... What if he's the one?

I dont know... fuck my life

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Shayna

It's less painful to get the truth out asap. I think it would be far more devastating to be in love and have my partner never trust me again when he found out I held back a secret that could affect his health.

Just tell him you have a coldsore and you need to heal before being physical. Maybe he'd like to just hang out?

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WarriorKing

He may also be thinking that you are not that in to him because you won't see him. He will have to find out sometime. But it really is up to you when to tell.

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SiameseDream

Just be upfront and honest with him.

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Soraya1

Poor guy will probably be really relieved if/when you tell him the truth – imagine what is going on his head right now, I bet he is thinking that you have gone off him!

If he is a decent man, he will probably just feel sorry that you are unwell. I can understand how you wouldn't want him to see you this way, but if you explain to him, I am sure he will be understanding.

Be brave!

Soraya1

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breckgirl

You cold tell him you are under the weather and you are embarassed because when you get run down, you get cold sores and they are ugly and you feel ugly. Notice I said UGLY (as in less attractive), not dirty or gross. I am sure he will understand and be relieved that you still want to be with him.

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Lookonthesunnyside

Hell he may have even gotten them as a child! You know?

Oral herpes really isnt a huge deal to a lot of people. I always hoped I wouldnt get it but didnt really think it was a HUGE deal either way. I would never have broken up with someone because of it.

I think you should just tell him, you may be pleasantly surprised by his reaction.

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tigerfan

I would just tell him most people really just think of a cold sore as just a cold sore,i have had them as long as i can remember and the funny part about it was i never was embarassed cause i never really knew what it was besides a cold sore.Im 24 now and had plenty relationships,and i would just tell them i get cold sores a.k.a. fever blisters when my lips get chapped,cause thats when i would get them.Basically the point im making is he'll proly laugh and say "thats what you were worried about".

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new2hsv2

cold sores

I would be honest and tell him that you have a cold sore. Odds are that he has had them before too. My daughter came home from kindergarten last year with one...and working in her classroom, I noticed 1/2 of the class had them with their runny noses and winter colds. I have never had one, but just recently acquired genital hsv2...and honestly, I think I would prefer oral hsv1, just because it is not uncommon. I know MANY people that get them and have never thought any differently about them because of it.

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gotitsowhat

If he's "the one"

then he will accept the situation. Telling him about an embarrassing personal problem and seeing his reaction is part of what we do when we want to get to know someone with the hope that it will be a serious long term relationship. It is things like this that test a relationship. After all, if he cannot accept the idea of an ugly cold sore, what else would be find hard or impossible to accept? Long term relationships involve sharing personal problems and tolerating personal flaws.

And, by the way, around 80% of the population of north America has hsv1 in the form of dormant or active cold sores. EIGHTY PERCENT!!! That means that when you tell him, there is an overwhelming chance he has the same thing.

The time to tell people about hsv is when not telling them is causing more problems than telling them would. I think this is a good example of that. His worries and insecurities over your non-communication are probably doing more harm to the relationship than your admission that you feel embarrassed over a cold sore would. Time to just tell him. It's really not a big deal, so don't make it one. Just tell him.

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Pouchoflove

I wanted to thank everyone for the support, I really do appreicate the time you guys put into writing the responses. It's been awhile, but I'm back to tell you that it was a SUCCESS!!!

At first I couldn't do it, I couldn't tell him becuase of my own fear and insecurities so I broke up with him. He wouldn't let it go and wanted to know the reason, I finally broke and told him what my concern was. His reply was "Is that all? So if I got cancer or some kind of disease would you leave me?" And he told me that he loved me and that he didn't care whatever I had, that we would work through it together. He was definitely sure he wanted to be with me and it didn't matter if I had H. He was willing to risk getting it if it meant we could be together.

Hearing things like this really does make me stronger... makes me realize there are still good people in this world who aren't influenced by the media/social stigma placed around H.

I'm really happy, thanks guys. I hope my story among many other successful ones will let people out there know that there is someone who can love them regardless of what they have. And that instead of seeing the glass half empty they should be grateful they didn't catch something worse, like HIV or develope cancer. It could always be worse, even though I know it's hard to think this way during an outbreak.

All we can do is keeping fighting, becuase giving up isn't an option. Don't give up guys and don't loose hope, keep fighting for what you want weather it be love or happiness and you can't loose. you have nothing to loose.

Thanks again guys

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HopelessRomantic727

Be Honest!

That's great! Honesty is always the best policy.:)

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WarriorKing

Thank you so much for posting back. And there are lots of guys and gals like your guy out there.

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