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frightened and shocked

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i don't even really know what to say here. i just got back from emerg where they took one look at me and told me i officially have genital herpes. i believe that i would be in a state of shock, except they gave me a handful of anti anxiety pills to dull the edge of the news. not too smart considering what i want to do now is down them all and be in a numb stupor for the rest of my life. ive done quite a bit of research already and everything tells me that this is not the end of the world and i do tend to agree.. the world will go on.. but my life? perhaps not so much. i am 23 years old and i have always had a healthy sex life both in terms of amount and in terms of sexual practices. i'm fairly educated on the subject and so took precautions to prevent this happening to me (apart from absinence, obviously). well regardless of all of my thought and education, this has happened to me and this has been, without comparison, the worst day of my life. i am absolutely devestated. i feel like my life is falling apart. i have never had a relationship in my life, not through any choice of my own, but mostly because i have been told i am not the take home to mother kind of girl. well who will want to introduce me to their mother now? not only that, but i have had several sexual relationships in my past and while they are not conventional by any means, they have meant a lot to me and those people are important in my life, despite that they may live in other cities or countries. i feel like all of those relationships are now dead. i feel like i have lost my favourite part of myself. the part that is confident and sexual and brave. i now feel ashamed, and dirty, and cowardly. i have no idea how i am going to break this news to my current partner. i am fairly certain that he is the one who has given it to me because i have not slept with anyone else since the last time i was tested. i don't think that he knows that he has it since we had the sti conversation before we started sleeping together. that is one of my biggest worries, but only slightly less are the other people in my life and when or if i should tell them and if i am brave enough to go this alone. i feel very alone. i live by myself have no committed partner, parents who live far away, and not many friends, though i am sure the ones i have would be supportive i dont know if i can bring myself to tell them. i am so very very very sad. i hope someone responds to this quickly, as i have been up all night thinking very lonely frightening thoughts and i need to feel the community reaching out to me or i don't know what i will do.

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You are not alone

And it will get better. Millions of people have herpes. In fact some estimate up to 80 percent of the population has it.

You need to be around others who have this. Come to the "Live Chat" room. There you will meet other normal people like yourself who have this 'gift'.

You don't state where in Canada you live, but there are several support groups that are hopefully close to you. Most groups have regular support meetings. The one here in Atlanta really helped me out. Seeing other people like me with this made me realize this was not so bad.

Read as much as you can about this virus. The more you know the more you will realize that, for the most part, this is a harmless little virus.

Good luck, I hope to see you in the chat room soon!

Here are the support groups in Canada:


- Calgary HELP -

P.O. Box 21092 665 8th Street SW

Calgary, AB T2P 4H5

Ph. (403) 228-7400 or (403) 678-3836 messages only CRI- Hs


- Vancouver HELP -

Vancouver, BC

(604) 515-5500

Web: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/vancouverhelp/

e-mail: vancouverhelp-owner@yahoogroups.com

- Victoria Herpes Support Group -

P.O. Box 962 Victoria,

BC V8W 2R9

Ph: (604) 975-1411


- Winnipeg HELP -

1-705 Broadway Ave. Winnipeg,

Manitoba R3C 0X2

Ph: (204)-940-2200


- Halifax HELP -

c\o Room 5014 ACC Victoria General Hospital Halifax,

Nova Scotia B3H 2Y9

Ph: (902) 428-2272


- Hamilton HELP -

Hamilton, Ontario (905) 523-9671

- Ottawa HELP -

284 McEachern Crescent Orleans, Ontario K1E 3KC

- Toronto HELP -

The Phoenix Association

4936 Yonge Street, Suite 134

Toronto, Ontario

M2N 6S3

Ph. (416) 449-0876.

Web: http://www.torontoherpes.com/

e-mail: phoenix_association@hotmail.com or info@torontoherpes.com


- Montreal HELP -

St. Laurent, QC

Ph: (514) 855-8995

e-mail: ruban-en-route@qc.aira.com

Web: http://www.rubanenroute.org/herpes.php

- Quebec City Herpes Support Group -

Sainte-Foy, QC

Tel: (418) 659-6189


- Regina HELP -

P.O. Box 4642 Regina,

Saskatchewan S4P 3Y3

Ph: (306) 779-9005

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Well whoever has told you you were not the take home kind of girl is probably not the take home kind of guy. They would just be interested in the sexual part of you. I am sure there is much more to you than the way you dress or look.

Do read up on the links on the right. You will be very surprised how common both types of H are. Anytime you go to a public event there are probably 5000-10000 people around you that have HSV2. You will find a large support group here. I have met, electronically speaking, probably over one hundred people here. With some people that you might really connect with you can use the messaging system here or elsewhere to talk about things that you might not necessarily want to be public.

Try to drop the ashamed, dirty, cowardly, and devastated adjectives from your thoughts. None of those are true. Victim is an ok word as H has attacked you, but victim who is fighting back would be much better.

Hang around.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • MrKyGuy
      I hooked up with a girl yesterday and I lightly kissed her on the lips four or five times - these were not heavy deep kisses.  As she was leaving I noticed that she had a cold sore that was healing (scabbed) on the top part of her lip. My lips definitely made contact with the scab. I’ve never had a cold sore and my last std test was negative for everything . Any chance I don’t end up with HSV1 on my mouth now after this incident? I know it’s not the end of the world but everything I read says these sores are crazy contagious and primary outbreaks in adults can be brutal. Any insight is greatly appreciated 
    • dont quit!17
      From what I understand shedding studies are expensive but even getting quotes and estimates on this especially in a clinical setting would be a step in the right direction. @destroyhsv, maybe you can look up labcorp or quest diagnostics and call for an estimate or any local labs in your area. 
    • MyOhMy2018
      Hello everyone, Long story short - I had my first outbreak about a year ago, got swabbed and turned out positive to HSV-2. For the first month, I only took valaciclovir when I had an outbreak but seeing that I still had back to back outbreaks, the doctor decided to put me on suppressive therapy. This has never really helped, unfortunately. In the summer, I had no outbreaks for like one and half month but apart from that, I've been having outbreaks every other week. I saw a dermatologist about two weeks ago and he swabbed another lesion that was in my mouth, which in turn revealed positive to HSV-1, although I was on valtrex at that time. He seemed very surprised and said that not responding to valaciclovir is something extremely rare... But reading testimonies here, it doesn't seem to be as rare as people think. The last two~three weeks have been the worst for me: my outbreaks won't stop and it seems to be getting worst and worst. 2 days ago, my doctor put me on the non-generic valaciclovir  just to see if I responded better to the "real" drug but this has not helped so far.  I'm a healthy adult, I eat well, get plenty of sleep (I even take naps ) and exercise 4 to 5 days a week. I supplement daily with organic acerola vitamin C (1000mg), lysine (1 to 2g) and magnesium (500 mg to 1g) and take 1 x 500mg valtrex in the morning and evening.  I'd like to hear stories of people who managed to stop or at least reduce their recurrences and what worked for them. I really need help because that is killing my sexual life, and I'm not even 30. I've read a lot of studies on the internet about people developing resistance to ACV and the likes but none of them mentions an alternative solution for people like me. Actually, I'm not even sure I have developed resistance to ACV because the drug never really worked for me. Moreover, the very few acknowledged ACV resistant cases were in majority immunocompromised patients and as far as I know, this is not my case. I wouldn't really care about that virus if I had only one or two outbreaks a year, but having it non-stop is very hard to handle psychologically. I can't have sex, drink, eat chocolate... Even read that exercising too much could trigger outbreaks. What's left for me to do? Shave my head, go to Bhutan, live with the monks and meditate 12 hours a day?
    • vzhe
      I'd participate and pay for it if you figure out how to do a shedding study. I don't think anything other than a shedding study makes sense.
    • WilsoInAus
      HSV-2 is only required to be disclosed in some states of the US if and only if you know or could have been reasonably expected to know you have it. There are no laws surrounding HSV-1 disclosure or transmission.

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