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Helping a loved one through this

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In a very strange turn of events, my partner and I have come to find out that she has Type II Herpes and I do not.

We talked a month ago and realized we should have gotten fully screened before we became sexually involved, so decided to get it done. She had been tested back in February for everything except Herpes, but did not realize that. She thought she had been screened for everything, but apparently you have to specifically ask for the Herpes test. As such, while she has been tested for STDs often in the past, she never got screened for Herpes.

So I got tested for everything and was informed I had tested positive with a 2.6 as my result. I informed her and she got tested as well and also came back positive with a 4.8 on her results. However, I was so shocked about my result I insisted on a retest. That came back negative at a .24 result. This sort of confused things so I got tested a third time and just received those results today saying I am negative with a .23 result.

I love my partner, she is a wonderful person and this does not change how I feel about her or how much I want to be with her. Unfortunately , she is already hard on herself for her past sexual encounters and with this development she is tearing herself apart. I want to help her through this as best I can. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. She has been one of my best friends for a long time, and means a lot to me.

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Those test results are very odd. Do you know what kind of test they did, as there are a couple of different types of blood tests, some much less reliable than others.

If you truly are negative and she is positive, you can take steps so you remain negative. She is very lucky to have you by her side and supporting her through this, either way. Keep loving and supporting her and hopefully she will come around and realize this is just a fairly minor inconvenience in her life that really only affects her sex life. And she already has you, who accepts her just as she is!

Refer her to this website. There is a lot of good information on here and even better people!

Good luck! Keep us posted.

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