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Helping a loved one through this

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In a very strange turn of events, my partner and I have come to find out that she has Type II Herpes and I do not.

We talked a month ago and realized we should have gotten fully screened before we became sexually involved, so decided to get it done. She had been tested back in February for everything except Herpes, but did not realize that. She thought she had been screened for everything, but apparently you have to specifically ask for the Herpes test. As such, while she has been tested for STDs often in the past, she never got screened for Herpes.

So I got tested for everything and was informed I had tested positive with a 2.6 as my result. I informed her and she got tested as well and also came back positive with a 4.8 on her results. However, I was so shocked about my result I insisted on a retest. That came back negative at a .24 result. This sort of confused things so I got tested a third time and just received those results today saying I am negative with a .23 result.

I love my partner, she is a wonderful person and this does not change how I feel about her or how much I want to be with her. Unfortunately , she is already hard on herself for her past sexual encounters and with this development she is tearing herself apart. I want to help her through this as best I can. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. She has been one of my best friends for a long time, and means a lot to me.

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Those test results are very odd. Do you know what kind of test they did, as there are a couple of different types of blood tests, some much less reliable than others.

If you truly are negative and she is positive, you can take steps so you remain negative. She is very lucky to have you by her side and supporting her through this, either way. Keep loving and supporting her and hopefully she will come around and realize this is just a fairly minor inconvenience in her life that really only affects her sex life. And she already has you, who accepts her just as she is!

Refer her to this website. There is a lot of good information on here and even better people!

Good luck! Keep us posted.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • MrKyGuy
      I hooked up with a girl yesterday and I lightly kissed her on the lips four or five times - these were not heavy deep kisses.  As she was leaving I noticed that she had a cold sore that was healing (scabbed) on the top part of her lip. My lips definitely made contact with the scab. I’ve never had a cold sore and my last std test was negative for everything . Any chance I don’t end up with HSV1 on my mouth now after this incident? I know it’s not the end of the world but everything I read says these sores are crazy contagious and primary outbreaks in adults can be brutal. Any insight is greatly appreciated 
    • dont quit!17
      From what I understand shedding studies are expensive but even getting quotes and estimates on this especially in a clinical setting would be a step in the right direction. @destroyhsv, maybe you can look up labcorp or quest diagnostics and call for an estimate or any local labs in your area. 
    • MyOhMy2018
      Hello everyone, Long story short - I had my first outbreak about a year ago, got swabbed and turned out positive to HSV-2. For the first month, I only took valaciclovir when I had an outbreak but seeing that I still had back to back outbreaks, the doctor decided to put me on suppressive therapy. This has never really helped, unfortunately. In the summer, I had no outbreaks for like one and half month but apart from that, I've been having outbreaks every other week. I saw a dermatologist about two weeks ago and he swabbed another lesion that was in my mouth, which in turn revealed positive to HSV-1, although I was on valtrex at that time. He seemed very surprised and said that not responding to valaciclovir is something extremely rare... But reading testimonies here, it doesn't seem to be as rare as people think. The last two~three weeks have been the worst for me: my outbreaks won't stop and it seems to be getting worst and worst. 2 days ago, my doctor put me on the non-generic valaciclovir  just to see if I responded better to the "real" drug but this has not helped so far.  I'm a healthy adult, I eat well, get plenty of sleep (I even take naps ) and exercise 4 to 5 days a week. I supplement daily with organic acerola vitamin C (1000mg), lysine (1 to 2g) and magnesium (500 mg to 1g) and take 1 x 500mg valtrex in the morning and evening.  I'd like to hear stories of people who managed to stop or at least reduce their recurrences and what worked for them. I really need help because that is killing my sexual life, and I'm not even 30. I've read a lot of studies on the internet about people developing resistance to ACV and the likes but none of them mentions an alternative solution for people like me. Actually, I'm not even sure I have developed resistance to ACV because the drug never really worked for me. Moreover, the very few acknowledged ACV resistant cases were in majority immunocompromised patients and as far as I know, this is not my case. I wouldn't really care about that virus if I had only one or two outbreaks a year, but having it non-stop is very hard to handle psychologically. I can't have sex, drink, eat chocolate... Even read that exercising too much could trigger outbreaks. What's left for me to do? Shave my head, go to Bhutan, live with the monks and meditate 12 hours a day?
    • vzhe
      I'd participate and pay for it if you figure out how to do a shedding study. I don't think anything other than a shedding study makes sense.
    • WilsoInAus
      HSV-2 is only required to be disclosed in some states of the US if and only if you know or could have been reasonably expected to know you have it. There are no laws surrounding HSV-1 disclosure or transmission.

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