Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  

need advice on the talk

Recommended Posts


so it is 420 in the morning and i am awake, obviously, and having no fun at all. its always in the middle of the night that i feel most alone. therefore i am using my time productively to post about all of the things i am anxious about. this one is first on my list. i just found out two days ago that i have herpes. ugh it makes me sick just to write that... anyway, soon i will have to have the talk with the person from whom i am pretty sure i contracted it. since i have nothing else to do and i find this sort of cathartic i'm going to give you the back story. him and i met about a month ago. we work together. when he first approached me and suggested we start a sexual relationship i thought it was a little fast, especially considering we work together, but i was open to it because he is fun and good looking and has a variety of interests. i have never really had a relationship and so i have rarely ever looked for something like that and he said he had just gotten out of a long term relationship and was only looking for someone to have fun with. sounded great to me. my ideal sort of sexual relationship.

i waited a little while, while i thought about it, but not very long and soon we were sleeping together a couple times a week and having a wild time. you know those awesome people who are just pure fun in bed. last time we had sex was a little under a week ago and i was feeling really tender and sore, so we were gentle. regardless after he left i was in quite a bit of pain. i got out my trusty hand mirror and had a look and i was bright red with some fissures. i thought they were just from having too much vigorous sex, but i was wrong and by the next day i had my first outbreak coupled with a fever that made me want to die...

so while i've been going through this emotional whirlwind i noticed that he had posted on the net that he is also sick and has been off work.

now we had the sti conversation before we started sleeping together and he said he was in a monogamous relationship and hadnt slept with someone new since he got out of it. however, my doctor told me that its likely i picked up my case in the past few weeks and as i was tested just recently and had not had sex with anyone else i am fairly sure it was from him.... but ugh! i am confused! is it possible that i could have had this in my system for a few months from someone else and that rough sex just triggered my first outbreak? also, if he is a carrier without knowing it... could his transmission to me cause him to have a first outbreak as well? would that explain his being sick? how do i find out more definitely whether he gave it to me or i gave it to him? how do i tell him in the first place? what should i do if he gets angry or violent? i have a real social anxiety about interacting with men in any real way. sexually was always easy because you can close off the part of your mind that needs real communication and just lose yourself in the moment, but i have never had to have a conversation this serious with a man and i am terrified. what if he thinks that i gave it to him and tells people at work? i don't want to lose my job over this.. and i dont want to lose him either. despite the fact our relationship was sexual, i still admire and respect him and want him to be my friend. i want to be able to go to cocktails and laugh and joke like before all of this happened. this is so heavy, i think i'm going to cry... or maybe i'll just have another t3 and numb myself a little more.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • Dusty321
      I have had a monogamous relationship for the last 6 years.  I did not have Herpes before the relationship.  My partner recently had an outbreak on the buttocks and was diagnosed with HSV2 about 2 months ago.  She said it was the first outbreak She had ever had. She has been taking valacyclovir for the last 2 months and we were intimate for the first time in about 4 months about a week ago.  Now I have an outbreak on my upper lip.  I read that this is not impossible, but rare. I wanted to ask others opinions on how HSV2 works, as I cannot help but find the situation really strange.  I totally understand that HSV2 can lie dormant for years, displaying no symptoms.  My partner says She has not been unfaithful, and I decided to believe her.  However, with this outbreak, a new doubt crept in, as I think it's really odd I would get an outbreak a week after being intimate, knowing I didn't have this before our relationship. I would appreciate hearing if this is possible, I love my partner and can't bear the doubt, but also don't want to feel I might be being blind.
    • speechless_1
      Hello, Im in the UK and have recently been diagnosed with herpes 2.  I am still coming to terms with it but i am keen to consider the stigma surrounding herpes.   If you don't mind.... would you tell me if you have told many people you have it?  What was their reaction?  Thanks guys x
    • Pes Pes
      Hi Guys! I am newly diagnosed with HSV-2 and its the 7th day and my 1st outbreak is over. One week before the diagnosis I was at the prime of my life and the news gave me depression and I wanted to commit suicide knowing that I have a stigmatized NO CURE DISEASE. After a lot of research online I came across the combination herpes cure that I need to try. I have already chatted the support and they are quite informing in their responses about the 4-6 months protocol. Anybody who has tried it kindly share your sentiments and I will appreciate the insights... I feel pity for my life dear God why me please...
    • Pes Pes
      Hi Guy! I am also two weeks into my first outbreak. This has made me do a lot of research for a permanent cure. I have seen Synergy Pharmaceuticals from Australia selling the combination herpes cure. Has anyone come across this? Does it look legit?
    • Thomas29
      I do pick them and pop them a lot so I think I’m just making it worse! Do they look like herpes to you though ?

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.