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PartyGirlx

My life is a nightmare how could i be so stupid

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PartyGirlx

I have'nt been diagnosed with herpes but i have self diagnosed myself am 99% sure i have it i can't think of anythink else it would be. I was so stupid and selfish i chested on my bf who i have been with for nearly 10 years and we have a 18 month old son. It all started in july wer me and partner was arguing all the time and i went out with my best friend and her cousin who i have known for years, one thing led to another and we had several flings over a few weeks all protected apart from the last fling. I have always been paranoid about catching things so booked myself in for a chlamydia test which was negative so started having sex with my bf again after a few days he was extremely ichy on his penis and then a couple of days after that he had a bright red rash on his bikini line which looked scally. Alarm bells started ringing but i had no symptoms untill a few weeks after this i started to itch and looked red and swollon down there and noticed about 5 cuts down there one was above the clit it looked like an open sore bright red in the middle. I always thought herpes was crusty sores or blisters so thought it must be something else. But what ever it was iv never had cuts before and iv been having sex for 10 years. I have also had a disgusting disharge which lasted a few days it was horrible there was a foul smell and i felt so dirty it was so hard to wash off i literally had about 3 baths that day and it still wouldn't come off completely. My bf keeps geting disharge on the shaft like if you rubbed his penis there would be like bits of white stuff and he has been smelling really bad down there he doesn't get a bath as much as me so its really bad on him. Hes been saying to me hes geting checked out if it carrys on and if it comes back that he has something am gonna be single. Am so scared i feel like my life is over and what for. Am so angry i talked to this guy about it and he said he hasn't been itchy so it must of come from my fella and he found the whole thing funny. Am going the gum clinic on sat and gonna get tested for everything apart from herpes am gonna rule everything outand if am negative then its got to be herpes and if it is i don't want to know cause then my life is truely over.

I have also had a lump under both arms i don't know if this is a symptom ?

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1lovelylady

I wouldn't say that your life is over because if it is herpes then I know it would be hard to accept but at least its not aids and just try to live your life accordingly. I know your bf say he may leave but if he leaves then maybe he is not the man for you anyway. I could be wrong on that part but just pray on it. I don't think he's going anywhere though.

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JBnATL

Your life will not be over

Millions of people live everyday with herpes. And there are much worse diseases out there you can get.

You should get tested for it and not rely on total strangers on a website to diagnose you. And read as much about this virus as you can. The more you know, the more you will realize, for the most part, herpes is a common, harmless virus.

Good luck!

JB

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PartyGirlx

What i meant by saying my life would be over is i would loose my bf of 10 years and i couldm't imagine life without him. If it turns out its herpes he will no i have cheated again and finish with me on the shot. It would destroy are family. If all my tests come back negative am gonna carry on as normal and not let this stress me out. Thanx for your replys.

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Misty67

Oh WOW, your story sounds very familiar to me! I got my gift back in July..my husband is being very supportive. I am not sure if I have passed it onto him, he is not concerned about "H"

I do not get blisters or sores either (knock on wood) the doctor said I had a very small "tear" also I had redness, slight burning and a very lovely dis-charge. Everyone is different, I don't think there is a "normal"

I would advise you do you to the doctor, you need to know what strain you have. Also, getting on anti-virals will help.

Remember you BF is going through a difficult time! I am living the same nightmare you are right now. "H" is NOT our problem, the infidelity is the problem.

Good luck!!! message me anytime, if you need to talk!:D

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gotitsowhat

Your love life problems are greater than herpes

Please do see a doctor soon and get a swab test and a blood test; you may need another blood test in 3 months. It is always better to know for sure than to suspect and worry. Don't put yourself through any more negative speculations; get the facts.

As I see it, you have two problems here and neither of them is about herpes. One of them is that you have cheated on your boyfriend, this guy you say you could not imagine living without. And it's happened again. I am not judging you here or condeming your behavior. I am just pointing out that when you cheated (or got so drunk you did not know what you were doing, if that is what happened, or temporarily fell out of love with him or whatever motivated you), apparently you had, somewhere in your mind, decided you COULD live without him. That person, that part of you that cheated, was willing to take a risk at losing this relationship. So...you CAN live without him--you've proved it. You may be a stronger person than you think. You did, after all, live for a long time without him before you met him. Life without him is not something you have never done before. You may hope things will work out with him but you CAN live without him.

Second problem: He is willing to dump a woman with whom he has been in an intimate relationship, the mother of his child, because he caught herpes from her. Doesn't sound right. After all, if you both have it, then why dump you since he, then, could not get it? Obviously, it's not the herpes that's the problem but the cheating that it represents. So get over the idea that he would dump you over the herpes; it's not herpes, it's the relationship problems and your past behavior. He's just using the herpes possibility as a focal point for his unhappiness over your extracurricular sex.

You know, I don't know you but I have a feeling you might actually be better off without him. Your cheating shows that, at some level, you feel unready or unwilling to be with him forever. Or maybe you are young and need some more playtime in your life. And whatever has happened between you, it is clear he is not in a very forgiving mood about it if he could state that if you gave him herpes, he's leaving.

If he can't let the past go and accept you, and even accept the idea that he now has a minor medical condition that will probably never give him much trouble, then maybe it is time to move on. If he lives close to you, he can see his child often and you can both move on and, if possible, remain friends or become friends eventually. I am just suggesting that possibility. If you still want him in your life, I hope things work out and that you get what you want.

Good luck and let us know how the tests turn out.

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PartyGirlx

BRAINYBLONE i must admit i liked your post and in a way your are spot on. I agree we have major relationship problems. I got with this guy when i was 16 am now 26 and i have always relied on him we moved in together within a year of dating so i guess i would find it hard him not being there. Most of my friends wants me to get rid of him but i do love him even tho i know the relationship could end in a nasty way in the future. He has been violent to me in the past he would never punch me in the face am talking about pushes and pulling my hair and spitting in my face that kind of thing. And he emotionally blackmails me when ever we have an argument he will kick me out the house and say am an unfit mother and take my son away from me. Am not saying its all his fault why i cheated but i believe if he payed me the attention i crave i would be a better partner. I have cheated on him twice the first one i told him about and we went to hell and back, when i done it again for the second time in july i dissappeared for 24 hours so hes probably got an idea what iv been upto but am keeping it shut this time. Anyway iv decided am geting the full check this saturday, my best friend is going to take me for support and il let you guys no how i get on . Thanks for your support.

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