Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  

So I told a guy

Recommended Posts


It's a long distance thing that's been going on for a little over a month.

He's been hinting that he'd like to come for a visit after Christmas if things

continue going well between us.

I tried to brush him off, telling him that I didn't like the idea of long

distance dating.... bad timing... anything to get him off the topic.

Eventually he was like "Okay, what's the deal. I'm a real grown man. I can handle it."

So after alot of coaxing, I told him. And I explained that I would hate for

him to get on a plane just to find out something that could be a

dealbreaker. But he was very supportive saying things like "life happens"

and "look on the bright side" and "don't be so hard on yourself."

Yet I get the distinct feeling he's no longer pursuing a relationship with me.

He says he appreciates me being 100% with him. But nothing about still

being interested in me in that way anymore. So as usual I find myself on

the familiar confines of the friend zone.

Can't say that I blame him. But I knew that this would happen. I'm just

glad he handled it well.

But yeah, Fuck herpes. :|

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Patience. Hard word. You can have patience and be patient. Or, you can not be patient and be stressed. I have to work at this every day too.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Give him time

He is probably trying to adjust to the news and hopefully is reading up on this virus. The more he knows about it the better for you. This is, for the most part, a common, harmless virus.

And if he does not come around, then he is not the right person for you.

Good luck!


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell you what, long distance or not, he was not your best match. The guy you wanna share your feelings with is someone who can only handle the news but is accepting because he won't see what you have, he'll see you for who you are.

And that's what you and everyone else should be looking for when it comes to relationships or pursuing a person of interest.

This is good, what you learned is who you need in your life, not who you want at the moment.

Stay real and be positive.


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Daria, sorry you are going through this. But you will survive it.

Just give him some time (easier said than done, I know).

You said: "I tried to brush him off, telling him that I didn't like the idea of long distance dating.... bad timing... anything to get him off the topic." So don't forget he's dealing with your news, plus the worry that perhaps you don't want him to visit and don't want a relationship.

Guys are a bit different to us, they hear what they are told while us gals are better at reading between the lines!

Perhaps send him a link to this site - I found it not only to be the most informative, but also the most sympathetic. Explain to him that this is just a small inconvenience and you can still have a healthy relationship.

And as the others said, if he isn't in this for the long haul, then at least you found out now and can move on. I went through this last week, and this week, I am just so glad I found out what a douche the guy was and I'm now looking forward to the next chapter.

Let us know how you go with him. We'll help you through it.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites


This sorta happened to me recently too. I met a guy.. hit it off.. thought it was going great and it was also long distance (a few hrs). I wanted it to go somewhere and was stressing having to tell him and I did. Thought it went well but after that he kind of got distant. Saying he wasnt ready for a relationship/long distance thing. In the back of my mind I have to wonder if it was the herpes or not. We never discussed it after I told him so I just assumed he was ok with it. (I have ghsv1). I explained the whole thing and was really positive about it and all that. I had to come to terms with the fact that he didnt want a relationship and had to kind of stop questioning why.. but if it was cuz of herpes then it really sucks cause theres nothing I can do about it. Just feel comforted that you're not the only one!


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • mkumar
      Guys trying a New Way to take herpes Down , Detox Liver & Purify Blood will help just started a new way to tackle this , it's a 8 week course will update 
    • GotMeAtLast
      I ate...and ate...and ate. So glad I don't have to give them up!
    • StayingUpbeat
      There are currently two Phase 2 clinical trials of the effect of valacyclovir (i.e. Valtrex) at the NIH and University Hospital in Umeå, Sweden respectively for the sole purpose of measuring the impact to Alzheimers of taking Valacyclovir in HSV1+ individuals. Anti-viral Therapy in Alzheimer's Disease https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT03282916?recrs=ad&cond=Herpes+Simplex&rank=10 Feasibility and Effects of Valaciclovir Treatment in Persons With Early Alzheimer's Disease (VALZ-Pilot) https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT02997982?recrs=ad&cond=Herpes+Simplex&draw=2&rank=11 We should have some compelling evidence by about this time next year as the Swedish study has been going since 2016 and is set to conclude in April of next year.  The NIH study is set to conclude in 2022 but either way, on simply the mounting causal evidence, I'm going to continue taking my antivirals.
    • GotMeAtLast
      It still sucks for those of us in our 40's. Granted you will have to deal with it a lot longer than I, but it still sucks.
    • Everydaypeople
      I hope this message finds you well... I too just got recently diagnosed with type 2 and my soul left my body.... I'm still in 5 stages of grief... depression and anxiety... etc...  your boyfriend probably knew he had it...   I'm still in state of shock...gonna start doing things to occupy my mind...  support group like this site is good... very informative.. As far as not ever having a normal relationship,  your wrong.. my best friend had type 2 and had kids and got married.. How ? I asked myself plenty of times... none of my business... shem happier than she's ever been..  

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.