Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
Xanetea

Don't Know Anymore...

Recommended Posts

Xanetea

Don't know what to do or think any more.

Guess I need to explain a little before I get to what the problem is now. I'll try not to go overboard on explaining every little thing.

First child at 20. Father of child was abusive in every way & though he never laid a hand on our child she witnessed things no child should ever have to see.

When she was 3 we moved in w/ a HS friend of mine. Eventually he & I started dating. We were together for almost 3 years. Even though I still loved him, I broke up w/ him & I left the state because of problems I was having. To much to go into. We kept in touch for a little while, but it didn't last.

Eventually I got married. Had a 2nd child. My husband died 12/07. Long story there too. It's been hard w/ 2 children & all the other things that come with being a single parent.

Through out the yrs I've searched for my ex. I just wanted to know that he was well. That he was happy. Because I never stopped caring & loving him. Well I found him about 7 months ago. We were talking every night. Sending emails, pictures & w/ both of us getting new laptops... video chat. All was going pritty good. Our only issues were distance, getting him to talk (feeling and such :)) & trying to figure out how to make it all work eventually.

Then on 10/20/09 he was diagnosed w/ GHSV-2. His reaction at 1st was to avoid me. He couldn't believe it had happened to him. And well those of you w/ ghsv-2 would better know & understand what he went through & is still going through. His next reaction was to break up w/ me. He feared passing it to myself & my children. I begged him not to. To think things through. To please not throw our future away. He asked me to think things through too.

We've both been doing research, talking to our doctors. And even though we've yet to be together, I went & got tested. Positive for OHSV-1. I'm thinking I got it from my late husband. Parting gift I guess. But that's another issue.

Boyfriend & I don't talk every night anymore. I'm trying not to push, so I keep my emails short. I Love You... I Miss You... I Need You... Always, Forever & Beyond. I tell him I hope to hear from him soon. But afraid to push & lose him.

He's getting worse case scenerios from his doc. Things that rarely happen or have never even been documented as being true. My doc says if we're careful we'll lessen the chances of me getting it. Chances of my children getting it are nil unless someones doing something he shouldn't be doing in the first place. To be sure the info I've gotten here & elsewhere are true, I called the CDC. I'm not scared to be w/ him. I'm not scared for my children. I want the future we dreamed of.

We chatted on Wed, he was running a fever & having reaction to the meds the doc gave him. He said he'd be on on Fri (he's been doing overtime for almost 2 weeks/avoiding me too?)... he didn't show. It's Mon now & I still haven't heard from him. Left him 2 emails... no reply.

So I spend the day smiling for my children & crying at night. I read everything I can get my hands on about H. Some days I can't eat. I feel so numb most of the time. I can't breath. I try to act like everything is ok for my children. But I've scared my 9 yr old by breaking down in tears. She cares about him too & doesn't understand why we don't chat every night anymore. Why she can't talk to him either. And through it all I keep thinking about him. Is he ok? What's he doing right now? Is Valtrex helping him now, or did he have to switch meds? His doc said he's probably a carrier because he's not had an OB. Has that changed & he's having one now? I feel like I should be doing something. I feel powerless.

I don't expect anyone to tell me what to do. I guess I just needed to get my thoughts out.

Thanks all for listenting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
chooseyourbattles

The problem here is obviously your boyfriend's inability to come to terms with his diagnosis. It has completely destroyed his peace of mind, and he doesn't want the same thing to happen to you.

His are the worst possible psychological effects of HSV2. Other members on here have also stated their unwillingness to expose another partner lest it destroy them too. I'd like to reiterate what a giving person you are, Xanatea; I don't think most people would risk putting themselves in our position if your boyfriend were the only example they saw of an HSV2 carrier.

As for advice, I think you should just give him time. He knows you're there for him. Hopefully, he will come around.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

Advertisement

Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      67,673
    • Total Posts
      450,691
  • Posts

    • mkumar
      Guys trying a New Way to take herpes Down , Detox Liver & Purify Blood will help just started a new way to tackle this , it's a 8 week course will update 
    • GotMeAtLast
      I ate...and ate...and ate. So glad I don't have to give them up!
    • StayingUpbeat
      There are currently two Phase 2 clinical trials of the effect of valacyclovir (i.e. Valtrex) at the NIH and University Hospital in Umeå, Sweden respectively for the sole purpose of measuring the impact to Alzheimers of taking Valacyclovir in HSV1+ individuals. Anti-viral Therapy in Alzheimer's Disease https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT03282916?recrs=ad&cond=Herpes+Simplex&rank=10 Feasibility and Effects of Valaciclovir Treatment in Persons With Early Alzheimer's Disease (VALZ-Pilot) https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT02997982?recrs=ad&cond=Herpes+Simplex&draw=2&rank=11 We should have some compelling evidence by about this time next year as the Swedish study has been going since 2016 and is set to conclude in April of next year.  The NIH study is set to conclude in 2022 but either way, on simply the mounting causal evidence, I'm going to continue taking my antivirals.
    • GotMeAtLast
      It still sucks for those of us in our 40's. Granted you will have to deal with it a lot longer than I, but it still sucks.
    • Everydaypeople
      I hope this message finds you well... I too just got recently diagnosed with type 2 and my soul left my body.... I'm still in 5 stages of grief... depression and anxiety... etc...  your boyfriend probably knew he had it...   I'm still in state of shock...gonna start doing things to occupy my mind...  support group like this site is good... very informative.. As far as not ever having a normal relationship,  your wrong.. my best friend had type 2 and had kids and got married.. How ? I asked myself plenty of times... none of my business... shem happier than she's ever been..  
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.