Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  

Don't Know Anymore...

Recommended Posts


Don't know what to do or think any more.

Guess I need to explain a little before I get to what the problem is now. I'll try not to go overboard on explaining every little thing.

First child at 20. Father of child was abusive in every way & though he never laid a hand on our child she witnessed things no child should ever have to see.

When she was 3 we moved in w/ a HS friend of mine. Eventually he & I started dating. We were together for almost 3 years. Even though I still loved him, I broke up w/ him & I left the state because of problems I was having. To much to go into. We kept in touch for a little while, but it didn't last.

Eventually I got married. Had a 2nd child. My husband died 12/07. Long story there too. It's been hard w/ 2 children & all the other things that come with being a single parent.

Through out the yrs I've searched for my ex. I just wanted to know that he was well. That he was happy. Because I never stopped caring & loving him. Well I found him about 7 months ago. We were talking every night. Sending emails, pictures & w/ both of us getting new laptops... video chat. All was going pritty good. Our only issues were distance, getting him to talk (feeling and such :)) & trying to figure out how to make it all work eventually.

Then on 10/20/09 he was diagnosed w/ GHSV-2. His reaction at 1st was to avoid me. He couldn't believe it had happened to him. And well those of you w/ ghsv-2 would better know & understand what he went through & is still going through. His next reaction was to break up w/ me. He feared passing it to myself & my children. I begged him not to. To think things through. To please not throw our future away. He asked me to think things through too.

We've both been doing research, talking to our doctors. And even though we've yet to be together, I went & got tested. Positive for OHSV-1. I'm thinking I got it from my late husband. Parting gift I guess. But that's another issue.

Boyfriend & I don't talk every night anymore. I'm trying not to push, so I keep my emails short. I Love You... I Miss You... I Need You... Always, Forever & Beyond. I tell him I hope to hear from him soon. But afraid to push & lose him.

He's getting worse case scenerios from his doc. Things that rarely happen or have never even been documented as being true. My doc says if we're careful we'll lessen the chances of me getting it. Chances of my children getting it are nil unless someones doing something he shouldn't be doing in the first place. To be sure the info I've gotten here & elsewhere are true, I called the CDC. I'm not scared to be w/ him. I'm not scared for my children. I want the future we dreamed of.

We chatted on Wed, he was running a fever & having reaction to the meds the doc gave him. He said he'd be on on Fri (he's been doing overtime for almost 2 weeks/avoiding me too?)... he didn't show. It's Mon now & I still haven't heard from him. Left him 2 emails... no reply.

So I spend the day smiling for my children & crying at night. I read everything I can get my hands on about H. Some days I can't eat. I feel so numb most of the time. I can't breath. I try to act like everything is ok for my children. But I've scared my 9 yr old by breaking down in tears. She cares about him too & doesn't understand why we don't chat every night anymore. Why she can't talk to him either. And through it all I keep thinking about him. Is he ok? What's he doing right now? Is Valtrex helping him now, or did he have to switch meds? His doc said he's probably a carrier because he's not had an OB. Has that changed & he's having one now? I feel like I should be doing something. I feel powerless.

I don't expect anyone to tell me what to do. I guess I just needed to get my thoughts out.

Thanks all for listenting.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

The problem here is obviously your boyfriend's inability to come to terms with his diagnosis. It has completely destroyed his peace of mind, and he doesn't want the same thing to happen to you.

His are the worst possible psychological effects of HSV2. Other members on here have also stated their unwillingness to expose another partner lest it destroy them too. I'd like to reiterate what a giving person you are, Xanatea; I don't think most people would risk putting themselves in our position if your boyfriend were the only example they saw of an HSV2 carrier.

As for advice, I think you should just give him time. He knows you're there for him. Hopefully, he will come around.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • Tomanyob
      I to have one outbreak after another. Never been tested but I know I have it . I would love advice on how to help with lesions on my labia.  Those hurt the worst and last the longest .  I have found if I take a pin and pop the ones on the regular skin and cover them with coconut oil salt scrub ,it drys them up and almost gone immediately and dont spread near as bad .  As I said I have lesions now and I cant seem to make them better . They hurt so bad .   I am new to this and have no idea how I got it. Been with the same person for years . 
    • Hatinithelp
      So I can do the keto diet for 3 days an it will be inactive??
    • Hatinithelp
      I jus recently found out I have hsv. The first test came back negative they said it was jock itch but I had another lil spot pop up in the crease of my leg an that came back positive. I was so broken at that moment. That someone couldn’t have told me so we could have took actions to prevent me from getting it. I understand well all have it but some people’s is active an some people’s aren’t. I have some questions tho. Ever since I have been diagnosed I have been getting these lil spots poppin up on my legs knuckles an other places that itch tremendously bad idk if it’s bc I’m overly paranoid bc I’ve found out I have this or if there is something else wrong w me   I’m embarrassed to go to the doc about it this has really put me into a deep depression an I found this site hoping to get answers an support on how to deal with this I was praying that maybe this was all a bad dream but unfortunately I was wrong. Please help 
    • blurneworder
      Same thing happened to me not long after having unprotected sex.  I have not tested positive for HSV, but I experience what you are in that area
    • Optimistic46
      Diagnosed a year ago. Tried suppression therapy to no avail. Dr prescribed 500mg Valtrex increased to 1000g no help. Two HIV test negative. The worst experience ever. Tried oil of oregano, olive leaf extract, lysine, Multi vitamin. Just read because I’m peri menopausal it might be hormones. Outbreaks are constant hsv 2.  If anyone can can relate, I’m pleading for insight.

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.