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i feel all alone

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my mom is my best friend threw thick and thin and this is one thing i feel i cant talk to her about. all she does i say its my fault i should have left my boyfriend a while ago well we have a baby together and she is 6 months old

he cheated a week after she was born and got herpes from the whore who failed to inform him she had it and i found out 3 weeks ago i have it and im going threw my first outbreak and its soooooooo painful i have not yet told my mom about the outbreak because she just shuns me it sucks because i need her so much right now i cant talk to my boyfriend because i just want to hit him and never stop when ever one of us bring it up

im soooo lost on what to do now or how to live with this

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I know what you are going through. I got herpes from a boyfriend my mother didn't approve of. That made it worse. However, she didn't throw a fit, but said to me: Well, honey, at least it is not AIDS. Sometimes motherly concern is so strong it comes across as anger, but deep inside she must love you a lot to care -even if she doesn't like the choices you make.

Talk to your mum. Not easy, but once it is out in the open you won't feel so alone. You mum will come around in the end.

Some people live with diabetes, or being in a wheelchair, or having herpes. Just don't forget herpes is something you have, but it is not YOU, or who you are.

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Yes talk to your mom

She may surprise you. She loves you and wants nothing but the best for you. Seeing you suffering with this may bring out the motherly feelings of needing to support you.

Do you live near Milwaukee? There is a support group there. I would advise you going to a support group meeting if they have them. The group here in Atlanta really helped me out:

Milwaukee Help c/o STD Specialties Clinic

3251 N. Holton Street Milwaukee, W1 53212

Ph: (414) 264-8800

Come to the Live Chat room, there are plenty of people there you can vent to.

And perhaps you should seek out couple's counseling. It appears your problems stem more from his infidelity than herpes.

Good luck!


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Find support

I am not among the many sentimental people who believe, no matter what, that mothers are basically kind hearted saints who will always be there for you. If she is shunning you and her only comments have been that this is your fault, then she is NOT there for you, much as you might wish otherwise. From what you have posted, it doesn't seem as if your mother can handle this subject of discussion very well.

Have you considered seeking out a counselor or therapist? It can be very healing to talk about this with someone who will not judge you and who has a llot of experience dealing with people going through life changes and emotional wounds. It really helped me to see a counselor.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • MrKyGuy
      I hooked up with a girl yesterday and I lightly kissed her on the lips four or five times - these were not heavy deep kisses.  As she was leaving I noticed that she had a cold sore that was healing (scabbed) on the top part of her lip. My lips definitely made contact with the scab. I’ve never had a cold sore and my last std test was negative for everything . Any chance I don’t end up with HSV1 on my mouth now after this incident? I know it’s not the end of the world but everything I read says these sores are crazy contagious and primary outbreaks in adults can be brutal. Any insight is greatly appreciated 
    • dont quit!17
      From what I understand shedding studies are expensive but even getting quotes and estimates on this especially in a clinical setting would be a step in the right direction. @destroyhsv, maybe you can look up labcorp or quest diagnostics and call for an estimate or any local labs in your area. 
    • MyOhMy2018
      Hello everyone, Long story short - I had my first outbreak about a year ago, got swabbed and turned out positive to HSV-2. For the first month, I only took valaciclovir when I had an outbreak but seeing that I still had back to back outbreaks, the doctor decided to put me on suppressive therapy. This has never really helped, unfortunately. In the summer, I had no outbreaks for like one and half month but apart from that, I've been having outbreaks every other week. I saw a dermatologist about two weeks ago and he swabbed another lesion that was in my mouth, which in turn revealed positive to HSV-1, although I was on valtrex at that time. He seemed very surprised and said that not responding to valaciclovir is something extremely rare... But reading testimonies here, it doesn't seem to be as rare as people think. The last two~three weeks have been the worst for me: my outbreaks won't stop and it seems to be getting worst and worst. 2 days ago, my doctor put me on the non-generic valaciclovir  just to see if I responded better to the "real" drug but this has not helped so far.  I'm a healthy adult, I eat well, get plenty of sleep (I even take naps ) and exercise 4 to 5 days a week. I supplement daily with organic acerola vitamin C (1000mg), lysine (1 to 2g) and magnesium (500 mg to 1g) and take 1 x 500mg valtrex in the morning and evening.  I'd like to hear stories of people who managed to stop or at least reduce their recurrences and what worked for them. I really need help because that is killing my sexual life, and I'm not even 30. I've read a lot of studies on the internet about people developing resistance to ACV and the likes but none of them mentions an alternative solution for people like me. Actually, I'm not even sure I have developed resistance to ACV because the drug never really worked for me. Moreover, the very few acknowledged ACV resistant cases were in majority immunocompromised patients and as far as I know, this is not my case. I wouldn't really care about that virus if I had only one or two outbreaks a year, but having it non-stop is very hard to handle psychologically. I can't have sex, drink, eat chocolate... Even read that exercising too much could trigger outbreaks. What's left for me to do? Shave my head, go to Bhutan, live with the monks and meditate 12 hours a day?
    • vzhe
      I'd participate and pay for it if you figure out how to do a shedding study. I don't think anything other than a shedding study makes sense.
    • WilsoInAus
      HSV-2 is only required to be disclosed in some states of the US if and only if you know or could have been reasonably expected to know you have it. There are no laws surrounding HSV-1 disclosure or transmission.

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