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In kind of a pickle

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Ok so I'm a 19 year old guy and I have genital herpes. I'm moving into my first place in a few months and I'm super stoked about it. I'm living with a roomate to help pay bills and allow me to save money easier. I've come to terms with having herpes but I still don't really want my roomate to know. Its a touchy situation because hes around the same age as me and is always talking about how cool its going to be to bring girls home and all of that guy stuff. He still encourages me to pursue women and stuff like "you should try to hit that" and with my H status, it kind of bugs me when people talk about this. Another problem is that my roomie dated the girl who infected me for two years in high school and they still talk and stuff on occasion. I don't hold a grudge against her but I definitely would not want her in my house or anything even close to that. She is 2 states away in college but she will definitely be back for summer and she is the type of person who will probably fail out anyways. He has already made comments like "maybe I can fuck her" and stuff like that. So this is my whole kind of huge dillema I have here. How do I go about living with someone and having herpes? How do I explain myself when I'm not hooking up with girls or even just trying to pursue relationships with girls? I don't want him to think I'm gay, but I also don't want him to know I have herpes. Hes just not the type that would be cool about it I can already tell. He once made fun of my friend who had a cold sore saying "haha you have herpes on your face". Anyone have any input or advice on this whole situation? What do I do? Anyone live with roomates who don't know?

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say nothing and let him go ahead and sleep with the girl that gave it to you. Well honestly I dont know what to say except IF they start dating and you are sure she gave it to you then you may want to go ahead and tell him other than that it is none of his business. Tell him you feel more comfortable not bringing girls there.

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Why are you not pursuing relationships with girls?

Just because you have herpes does not mean you have to stop dating. I have had this many years and date non h all the time.

There are h specific dating sites if you want to pursue that avenue. Mpwh.net and positivesingles.com are two of the more popular ones.

And don't worry about the chick who gave you this. If he wants to hook up with her, it is her responsibility to tell him and his responsibility to take precautions.

Good luck!


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I'm with JB on this one.... you can still date and meet girls!!!

I understand that it's a little different to just having random hookups, but you can certainly still have some fun!!! Just do it safely and monitor your OB's etc.

Besides, what goes on behind closed doors is your business alone.

You could always try the line of defence in saying that you aren't really into casual dating right now. However, if the right girl came along, you would consider pursuing a relationship.... tell him you are waiting to meet Miss Right, not just Miss Right Now.

This takes you out of the casual sex game, but still allows you to meet and get to know girls. Your roomie may even follow your lead, or he may not, but that's not your concern.

As to whether he sleeps with the ex, that's a tricky one. I'm guessing he doesn't know she has H? Perhaps stock up on condoms and leave them in the bathroom so he has easy access to them and hopefully takes the hint to protect himself?

I'm hoping someone wiser than I can give you some advice on that one.....

Good luck with the move. I really hope it goes well for you and you have a great time!

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