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really scared :-(

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Hi. I couple days ago I found a genital sore, and I am really scared. I went to the doctor, but she wasn't able to tell me much except that it did look like herpes. I started getting cold sores a couple years ago, and now this! I am going to get a blood test for HSV2 on Monday, so I am driving myself crazy worrying about it in the mean time. I honestly don't know what it could be if its not herpes. I just can't believe that I will probably have to deal with having both these viruses for the rest of my life. I am currently in a relationship, and I feel like I already went through the 'coming out' period with him because I had to tell him about my cold sores. He has been very understanding, but I am terrified that if I have to now tell him that I have genital herpes it will be like the straw that broke the camel's back :-(. I am disappointed in the situation, and myself. I feel so alone and could really, really use some support from someone who has experience dealing with this virus....

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You'll live for another day

It's all about your outlook when it comes to herpes. You can let herpes get the best of you or you can have herpes be nothing more than dirt under your shoe.

Really, herpes is so minimal in your life, the stigma behind hide is what makes it hard to handle. Herpes is like having acne or any other recurring visible skin condition like pimples. It comes and goes away, just like anything in life.

Seriously, if you make it into a big deal, then it will be. But if you don't, than it isn't and soon you'll see how herpes doesn't change your life.

Celebrities have herpes and continue to prolong their life normally. It doesn't change who you are.

Think of it this way, it's not AIDS. You still have another day to breathe and live your life. This will not stop you from getting the things you want.

With the right diet and attitude, herpes will disappear for a very, very long time. Just gotta believe in yourself and stay positive.

You'll be fine. Trust me.


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Thanks so much for your post woozy. It is really nice to know that there are others out there going through the same stuff. I know its not the end of the world, but it sure feels like it sometimes. Especially when I think about how much the way I was planning on living my life has changed in just a few days. I told my boyfriend, and he did not react well :-( which is a huge bummer. He is worried if he has it, and accused me of definitely giving it to him if he does have it even though he has had WAY more partners than me... ridiculous I know. I am really glad I found this site though, there seem to be a lot of great people here.

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Denise 07

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Herpes sucks I just got diagnosed with HSV 1 and I have it on my genitals not oral. I don't know how I got it because I've been married and faithful for 13 1/2 years and dated 6 yrs with my husband and had not cheated. I am so upset. I guess it can lay dormant for awhile. I know my husband didn't cheat I trust him dearly. We have two children and I never dreamed that an std could come and invade our lives. Everything is going to be different but our love will always be the same. Sorry that your boyfriend isn't being supportive. That is what you need the most when you are dealing with this for life. I am taking acyclovir daily and I sure hope that I won't have anymore OB's. I also take Lysine two tablets once a day. I was first diagnosed on Nov 7th when I was having painful urination. A couple of days before I went to the ER on the 7th I went to my dr's office thinking it was a UTI but my urine tested negative but they went ahead and sent it in to see if any bacteria would grow and they prescribed an antibiotic. I started it that night and the next day the burn was getting worse and than I noticed the blister on my vagina and was worried. I also had a swollen lymph node around my pelvic area on the side and that scared the hell out of me. So my husband told me I should get it checked out ASAP. So the next day I decided to go to the ER because it wasn't improving and the burn was so bad I could barely go pee because it hurt and I cried so bad. Anyway sorry this is so long but they did a swab test and just by looking the ER dr said it was genital hepes and I was stunned and was like noway how could that be when I've been with my husband forever and he was a virgin and swears he never cheated. I did have a few guys before we met and that could explain this because it could have layed dormant. Anyway, you're not alone and if you need to talk anytime just let me know. I am fairly new to this and have so many questions myself. I hope that you and your boyfriend can work this out. You really need to have all the support you can get when faced with this.

Also, I had a blood test done as well as my husband to see if he has it. Mine was being done to see about how long I've had this. I guess they can tell by how much antibodies you have in your body. So I haven't heard anything and the test was done last Tuesday afternoon so I am going to call tomorrow to find out. The waiting is torture. Good Luck with your appointment and I hope that maybe they misdiagnosed you and everything will be fine! Take Care:D

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Thanks for your post Denise. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, but it is always helpful to hear from people who are suffering from the same thing. What a terrible surprise that must have been for you! I can't believe how ignorant the American public is about this virus, myself included until a few days ago. There is also SO much misinformation, even from reliable sources. For example, my Dr. swore that I wouldn't infect myself because I was worried about passing my cold sores to my genital area, but my bf talked to a virologist in his family who said that it is actually quite possible and happens more than people realize. Why don't they understand these things?!

Anyway, I am also waiting for my blood results :-(. I will hopefully have them by tomorrow, but I have prepared myself for the worst which would be HSV1 and HSV2. I don't know what will happen with my bf... he is really upset and angry. He assumes if he has it I gave it to him, which is stupid. I have been just as careful and responsible as he has been, and i have had fewer partners. Hopefully he will get it together so we can work through this, but who knows. It will be extremely difficult to start dating again, both because I do love him and because I am mortified that this has happened to me.

Thanks so much for your support. If you ever want to talk as well I would be happy to chat. It is a lifesaver to have found this community.

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Still Happy


Sorry to hear about your situation. I was reading Denise's situation here, very , very similar to my story (Married for many years without a trace and then bam, no rhyme or reason, never did figure out how). This virus can come out of nowhere even if you think you have been careful ...it like so many things in life just happens to good people.

It can own you emotionally if you let it and it takes a long while to accept what it is and how it will affect your life. There is no quick way to get to a better place mentally,especially if your struggling with a partner or spouse who is just as confused as you are about this new situation. The thing is that no human is immune from every virus or condition, a diagnosis of cancer would be far more devastating but people don't think about these kind of things until they are faced with it.

I found one of the better ways to deal with it is just add up all the quality's of who you are good and bad. You will see in the list that it's just another thing that pales in comparison to what makes you a good person. 1 out of 4 people have this condition, your partners odds of becoming involved with someone else who is facing this even if he left you is very high and unlike you they might not tell him till after the fact (or at all). The fact that you are honest speaks very highly about your self integrity and ethics.

It takes time and it's easy to stress but really you are still the same person don't forget that. In time you will be ok no matter how it turns out...believe that :)

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • MrKyGuy
      I hooked up with a girl yesterday and I lightly kissed her on the lips four or five times - these were not heavy deep kisses.  As she was leaving I noticed that she had a cold sore that was healing (scabbed) on the top part of her lip. My lips definitely made contact with the scab. I’ve never had a cold sore and my last std test was negative for everything . Any chance I don’t end up with HSV1 on my mouth now after this incident? I know it’s not the end of the world but everything I read says these sores are crazy contagious and primary outbreaks in adults can be brutal. Any insight is greatly appreciated 
    • dont quit!17
      From what I understand shedding studies are expensive but even getting quotes and estimates on this especially in a clinical setting would be a step in the right direction. @destroyhsv, maybe you can look up labcorp or quest diagnostics and call for an estimate or any local labs in your area. 
    • MyOhMy2018
      Hello everyone, Long story short - I had my first outbreak about a year ago, got swabbed and turned out positive to HSV-2. For the first month, I only took valaciclovir when I had an outbreak but seeing that I still had back to back outbreaks, the doctor decided to put me on suppressive therapy. This has never really helped, unfortunately. In the summer, I had no outbreaks for like one and half month but apart from that, I've been having outbreaks every other week. I saw a dermatologist about two weeks ago and he swabbed another lesion that was in my mouth, which in turn revealed positive to HSV-1, although I was on valtrex at that time. He seemed very surprised and said that not responding to valaciclovir is something extremely rare... But reading testimonies here, it doesn't seem to be as rare as people think. The last two~three weeks have been the worst for me: my outbreaks won't stop and it seems to be getting worst and worst. 2 days ago, my doctor put me on the non-generic valaciclovir  just to see if I responded better to the "real" drug but this has not helped so far.  I'm a healthy adult, I eat well, get plenty of sleep (I even take naps ) and exercise 4 to 5 days a week. I supplement daily with organic acerola vitamin C (1000mg), lysine (1 to 2g) and magnesium (500 mg to 1g) and take 1 x 500mg valtrex in the morning and evening.  I'd like to hear stories of people who managed to stop or at least reduce their recurrences and what worked for them. I really need help because that is killing my sexual life, and I'm not even 30. I've read a lot of studies on the internet about people developing resistance to ACV and the likes but none of them mentions an alternative solution for people like me. Actually, I'm not even sure I have developed resistance to ACV because the drug never really worked for me. Moreover, the very few acknowledged ACV resistant cases were in majority immunocompromised patients and as far as I know, this is not my case. I wouldn't really care about that virus if I had only one or two outbreaks a year, but having it non-stop is very hard to handle psychologically. I can't have sex, drink, eat chocolate... Even read that exercising too much could trigger outbreaks. What's left for me to do? Shave my head, go to Bhutan, live with the monks and meditate 12 hours a day?
    • vzhe
      I'd participate and pay for it if you figure out how to do a shedding study. I don't think anything other than a shedding study makes sense.
    • WilsoInAus
      HSV-2 is only required to be disclosed in some states of the US if and only if you know or could have been reasonably expected to know you have it. There are no laws surrounding HSV-1 disclosure or transmission.

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