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photogirl

I don't know what to do...

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photogirl

I am 22 year old female who has just found out about having herpes. I went to the doctor yesterday after being sore for a couple of days and she confirmed it for me. She took some tests to find out if it was 1 or 2, I will know in a couple of weeks.

Since finding out, I have been laying in bed crying, crying and crying. I know its not the end of the world, but I feel so alone, and so shitty. I keep asking myself "Why me?" But I come up with nothing.

I don't blame anyone. I am not sure where it came from 100%. I have an idea, and I've let the boy who I have been seeing know that he should be checked out as well. He didn't take it too well, and now we're not speaking.

I just feel so alone. I feel dirty, and upset. I hate the fact that its something I have to have for the rest of my life, something that will always be in the background, that awkward elephant in the room.

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andrea

youre not alone

I got diagnosed for herpes this week. I felt like killing myself. I felt like no guy would ever want me again. But now i feel much better because when i saw my doc he said that he beliees a cure is on its way. Go google university of florida, cure for herpes. You'll see that there's work in progress. They think they might of found something that could stop having break outs forever, which would mean that we would no longer be contagious to non h people, and not have any symptoms ourselves.

You have to hang in there sweetie, dont lose hope. I'm 21.We have our lives ahead of us. Thikn of it as stupid pimples that come out every once in a while. And when you're out in public, tell yourself that 20% of the people around you suffer from the same thing you've got. And dont lose hope that a cure will be found. Do some research on it you'll see for yourself.

We are too young and too strong to let this desease get the best of us!

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justme4u

the guy I think who gave it to me is not speaking to me either and I told him how disappointed I was in him. Oh well to each his own

I just got diagnosed earlier this month and felt like you both do. I have since calmed down and doing what I need to do for myself.

good luck to u

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MissHope

Hey ladies, welcome aboard.

You've done the right thing in signing up here, this place is great to cheer you up, give you advice and give you a shoulder to cry on.

Photogirl, I echo what the other three before me have said - things will get better. We've all been where you are now and know exactly how it feels.

I was diagnosed with type 2 about 4 months ago, and like you, don't know who my gift giver was. At first I felt like my world was caving in and now, this thing is just a silly inconvenient bit of baggage that I have (not as lovely as a Luis Vuitton case but still...!).

I've learnt to put it into perspective and now I just don't care to worry about it. It does not define me and it never will.

And as for these guys, I'm sorry they've treated you this way. It stems from fear and ignorance - it's not your fault they've reacted this way!!!

You will learn to deal with this in time, and to address it with it partners. But firstly, you need to put this silly virus in its place so when you do have the talk, you don't freak out and don't act as if this is all there is to you, because it's not. Its a silly skin condition that can be managed.

Read up on the links to the right there and educate yourselves and you'll see that life will go on. I promise.

Good luck.

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loudandlovely

well put misshope.

i signed onto this site about a year ago. i had just met someone new and needed some support when it came to telling him about my GHSV-2.

my friends are great, but none of them can understand just what it feels like.

this site is a great source for information, advice and above all, acceptance.

i contracted hsv-2 from a person i was dating. eight days before i graduated from college. as soon as i had the outbreak i knew what it was. i went to the doctor, they ran a lancet through a sore-one of the most painful moments of my life-and confirmed that i did indeed contract hsv-2 on my genitals. i immediately confronted the person who gave it to me. he claimed to be tested and to not have it, but i do not believe him to this day.

herpes does not rule my life. but it does stomp on my heart a little when i meet someone new. i want to just fall into it carefree like my friends get to, but alas....those days have been over for me for a while.

i am well learned on my situation and how to manage it. i eat well. i exercise. i watch my arginine.i take daily therapy when i am sexually active. i know my body well and listen to it with all ears. i know what a three day drinking binge and no sleep is going to do to me.

telling potential partners is scary, but i have done it five times now, and only one turned out bad...and not even that bad, he just never called again.

i am 27 now and have had herpes for almost six years.

i am in an amazing and loving relationship with someone who is HSV free.

do not let this skin irritation define you or hold you back.

it is simply a part of you and you can't let one thing hold you back.

be honest to yourself and others.

and above all, love yourself....you are still you.

if you ever want to chat or have any questions i will do my best to help you out.

stay strong sister...you have a long life ahead of you.

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soconfused4

Trust me you are not alone. I just found out about 2 hours ago that I have Type 2 H. I am going through a divorce because I found out my soon to be ex-husband as been sleeping with someone since before we got married.

I have the same feelings. I am so confused as to what I need to do? But we all need to hang in there.

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PicadillyPeaCoat

I'm 46 and diagnosed last month. For some reason I keep thinking it was two months ago, when it was only October 18th. I divorced my husband of 21 years, because he contracted it while screwing a prostitute. I was tested and tested and they said I was clean. 5 years later, I've had 2 outbreaks since October. It doesn't matter how old you are, it's devastating. I found my comfort with my two best friends Ben and Jerry. .

It's horrible to feel like we're leapers. I try to forget about it, but it's so very hard. I feel dirty as well and sometimes think what did I do to deserve this horrible gift that keeps on giving.

I'm so glad I found this board, because I really can't talk to anyone about it. I don't like bringing it up to my boyfriend, because I want him to forget that I have this. I feel ashamed and it's like this horrible secret, that I need to keep to myself.

We're all here for each other. I'm sure we will all get through this.

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Atrapasueños
      Hola chicos recibí mis resultados de mi cultivo de mis brotes en hombros y cuello y dio positivo me siento mal aunque ya sospechaba me niego a pensar que este virus es inofensivo ahora no sólo tengo que lidiar con mis brotes en mi cara o genitales también los que aparecen en mis hombros y cuello sólo les deseo lo mejor y cuiden mucho su cuerpo __________________________  Hi guys I got my results of my culture of my shoots on shoulders and neck and gave positive I feel bad even though I already suspected I refuse to think that this virus is harmless now not only do I have to deal with my outbreaks on my face or genitals also those that appear on my shoulders and neck I only wish you the best and take good care of your body
    • IcantThinkofaName
      I agree completely with @Dutchy and what she said. You are always going to think about this. Its best to get a conclusive answer if you can. I am not sure it is herpes. Sorry to ask, but: Is there any chance you could have been sexually assaulted at a young age and not remember? or  Were you  ever a wrestler or Boxer ? Those are the only two instances I can think of that would cause HSV 2 if you haven't had sexual contact  Chances are high that you don't have it. And, if it turns out to be HSV1 , you already have that , so no worries there either. I have had 2 Drs say a bacterial infection on my face was HSV1 . I have never had HSV1, My IGG tests results have always been negative too for HSV1 in the past and present too. ( It was really a bacterial infection, I had had an injection and was touching the area a lot and I infected it with my dirty hands. I then went to a infectious disease specialist who told me looked  bacterial not viral).  I did sadly get infected with Hsv2 almost 2 years ago now ( 1 year after the facial bacterial infection) and it was intense and severe. If I had had HSV1 my outbreak would have been less severe from what I understand. My Hsv 1 IGG tests are STILL negative. Those drs were wrong. Maybe yours are too. And if it is from a wetsuit, then people need to know that its a possible risk.  I truly wish your results to be negative.  You deserve peace. Best wishes to you.
    • IcantThinkofaName
      @Rain and Ashes get a blood test, don't go by visual diagnosis, esp. if you  are a virgin and haven't had sexual contact. It could be  a staph infection or somethign else Drs misdiagnose things all the time. Its terrible and unprofessional of them to refuse to do the bloodwork, and to only visually diagnose if you haven't had sex.  If its a privacy issue or not wanting it on your records, then  maybe go to an anonymous place and pay out of pocket. And if it is indeed HSV2, and you got it from a wetsuit, then there is a lot we don't know about this virus and your story needs to be shared, if it is indeed true. Best of Luck to you!
    • Ashleerae
      I totally see where you're coming from. Having herpes made me feel like the biggest piece of shit I could be, thought it would be nice to kill myself and not have to deal with it, but not a serious thought, just a fantasy.  I was diagnosed over 3 years ago with genital HSV-2. I can't be 100%, but I think I got it from my ex. Over the last 2 years, I've been hitting personal development hard and trying to get totally comfortable with myself for everything I am, including herpes. I've improved things about myself that I've struggled with my entire life and I won't stop striving to be the real me, not take everything in life so hard or seriously, and be somebody I could respect. I've become more confident, which I've never been. Now I see herpes as a little bit of a blessing (haha crazy), but without this, I may have never confronted my issues with myself and changed it. I am more empathic to myself and to other people rather than being self-centered and shallow like I was sometimes. Herpes forced me to love myself and become more resilient. I'm telling you this because it's normal to beat yourself up over this and feel ashamed, but fuck it. Don't feel ashamed. Own it and get so comfortable with it that nobody's opinion could sway your feelings about yourself. I don't mean tell everyone unless you want to. I've told my immediate family and 4 friends recently and they were all very receptive and said it's not a big deal - these are people I trust. And for some of us, we know it's not as big of a deal physically as we imagined it would be before we contracted it or during the worst outbreak(s) - for me it was emotionally destructive because I let it get to me. Let me tell you my first disclosure story.  A month and a half ago, I got drunk and was talking to this guy, a friend of a friend. We hit it off and were having fun. We got pretty drunk and hooked up and I didn't tell him. Wanna know how I felt after that? Anxious, fucking horrible, like a terrible person. And I'm not judging others here, but I judged myself hard because I felt like I had hurt someone. This was eating me alive. I was going to tell him the next day and then he was out with friends so I didn't want to ruin his night. Two days later I talked to him and asked him to call me (live in different cities). I had practiced how I was going to say this over and over. I told him we got a little carried away and asked if we used a condom (couldn't remember), we didn't. I apologized and told him my status and that I'm on repressive meds so it doesn't surface, but it's still possible that it would. I was expecting him to lash out, call me names, tell our mutual friends and all of his own friends, which would be his right. I was lucky and I didn't feel like I deserved his actual response due to the situation of not disclosing before anything happened. He said, "It's okay. I'll make a doctor's appointment to get tested and get on meds if I need to. It sounds like you've been beating yourself up about this, so stop doing that. It's fine. I had a condom in my bag that I found the next day, I should have used it. Really, don't worry." Seriously, this is how the conversation went. He tested negative and is going to test again in 6 months. And we've been talking for the last month and a half since, he told me he's glad he met me and had fun, and he's coming to visit for a weekend in October. I talked to our mutual friend, who one of my best friends that I trust; I told her after I told him and confirmed he hasn't told anyone else about my status (I asked him not to unless he does have it, then he can say whatever he wants).  The reason I'm telling you this is because I've learned an incredibly important lesson from this. I know that not disclosing is against my moral code and I don't want to give this to anyone without giving them the choice first because I wasn't given the option and it destroyed me for awhile. Condoms don't guarantee it won't be passed on. If I want to feel good about the person I am, this is a conversation I have to have with anyone I'm going to have any sexual contact with.  I also know I was lucky with this guy being so kind. He didn't have to be that way. This taught me a valuable lesson too. Choose wisely who I want in my life and who I trust. I'm not worried anymore what other people think of me; what do I think of them? If somebody says no after disclosing, that is their right and it has no bearing on me, it's not a diss. They don't want herpes and neither did I; maybe there could be a friendship there instead. Some people don't see this as a deal breaker though and I know I don't feel bad about myself for telling somebody the truth and giving them the option. I'm not proud about not disclosing first, but I made it right and know that's how I will handle it from now on.  I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do either. This was my experience and this is just what I learned. 
    • PhilFletch
      Thanks for the post! We appreciate it can sometimes be difficult to talk about the subject or even to go and see your GP about it. Thankfully theres lots of online companies now that do an online consultation to get your herpes meds delivered in the post. Have a look at PostMyMeds Ltd, https://postmymeds.co.uk
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