Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
redyellowpurpleblue

is it wrong for someone with cold sores to suddenly snog people forcefully?

Recommended Posts

redyellowpurpleblue

recently english super model katie price revealed she gets cold sores

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/celebrity/article-1230355/Im-A-Celebrity-Katie-Price-dumps-Alex-Reid-live-air--hours-flies-Australia-propose.html

she reveals it in the video down the bottom.

not too long ago in the magazines she was out clubbing and she randomly snogged guys forcefully, like un-expectedly if you know what i mean, like just jumped on them. im sure that cant be the only time shes done that either.

obviously they would not know she has cold sores and she could have transmitted it to them.

does that make her a bad person? was she wrong? is it as bad as having sex without revealing you get cold sores?

its surprising though how many people are uneducated when they have cold sores in that they dont realise when they're symptomless they can still pass it on, maybe katie price is the same.

a girl i talk to still has sex with guys when she doesnt have outbreaks and i assume doesnt tell them.

of course none of us want it but is it really wrong to pass on this virus by doing normal human acts?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MissHope
of course none of us want it but is it really wrong to pass on this virus by doing normal human acts?

Hmmm.... interesting post and interesting questions. I guess my first thought was that is it better for someone 'famous' to carry on like this? And my answer is a resounding HELL NO!

But to answer the question I've quoted above, personally I feel that if you commit normal human acts KNOWING you carry the virus and you don't tell tell, then yes, it is morally wrong. But that's me.....

I don't know who I got this from - and while I'm certainly curious, I'm not angry or bitter about it. I rolled the dice and had unprotected sex, and that's my consequence. Nor, in my mind, will it change anything. Knowing won't make this go away.

That said, I did see a counsellor when I was first diagnosed, and she told me that she didn't really see why I would need to tell if it was a casual hook up and I was healthy and protected. So, I can see both sides of the story.....

However, I think personally, I would need to reveal this to partners. Certainly if I was wanting to pursue something with them I most definitely would.

Besides which, I now insist that the feller wear a condom, and many of them won't.... so when push comes to shove (no pun intended), I've had to come clean on why they have to. And who knows what they've got that I don't want.... I've learnt my lesson the hard way and I don't be needing no one else's bugs when I've got my own thanks!

But, I like the point you raise.... I'm looking forward to some of the other responses.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wishing Well

I think it is immoral and reckless to sleep with people without telling them.

I started a post here with a poll on should you tell before you even kiss someone and the issue of double standards.

The lady who diagnosed me told me I didnt have to tell as it would affect my sex life and no one would sleep with me. Well I cant not tell someone.

Looking at my encounter where I caught this I remember her insisting I put a condom on and I laughed and said ''I dont have anything''. (I always wore condoms). A little ironic...dont ya think.

I guess it was naive of me to expect otherwise but I would expect to be told about this sort of thing. To be honest i'm getting really angry just thinking about it. I guess from the boot being on the other foot and knowing she knew and I caught it and she didnt tell me really f's me off. As this could so easily have been avoided and I honestly feel this has had a massive impact on my life. As positive as I may be...ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGH where's my gun and my lawyer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AnnieCamp

People don't think HSV-1 is a big deal. There's a big divide on the issue. From a medical standpoint, doctors don't really get it. When I got my diagnosis they were like "Whatevs - woulda gotten this anyway."

That's just the attitude. Realistically, there's a lot worse things you can get than a virus like herpes.

This said, I DID think hsv was a big deal and the guy who gave it to me never disclosed being HSV-1+ to me. I too never got the choice to make my decision. Had I known I probably wouldn't have gotten it now - not because I would have ditched him, but because I wouldn't have engaged in some of the behaviors that would have put me at risk unnecessarily.

Because I know I have it and because I acknowledge that it isn't just some throwaway virus, I tell everyone and I do my best to not give it to them. Thusfar I have not passed it to a single partner and I'm really proud of that. If I ever was to pass it, I'd feel bad, but at the same time, I've been upfront and let my partners make their decision.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
hhasthehblues

I can understand being angry with someone for not telling you they have herpes before you sleep with them - the person I contracted it from is guilty of this. However, it is ultimately *your responsibility* to protect yourself with condoms, abstinence, etc. (in a monogomous relationship obviously this responsibility is shared). In my experience, I am more angry and disappointed with myself than with the person who gave this to me because I *chose* to put myself in a position that allowed me to be infected with herpes. Honestly, to me whether or not someone knew before they slept with you is a moot point in that many people "didn't know" simply because they *chose* to be uninformed, *chose* to brush off symptoms, etc. Anyone who is having sex with other people has a responsibility to know what they are or are not infected with, including herpes. Not being absolutely sure you don't have something and sleeping with people is just as negligent as having something, not telling and sleeping with people. So many people use the excuse that they weren't aware of this or that, or that herpes could be this or do that. I find this gross negligence as infuriating as someone who knows they have herpes and doesn't tell. Many of the people who know only know because they have symptoms, and I believe many of these people would remain in the "didn't know" category if they didn't (and potentially be "unknowingly" infecting others). I often see people blaming the person who infected them and citing that they wouldn't have been infected if they had used protection - well maybe not, but also maybe so - they are many people as we've read on this forum who were infected even though they used condoms. The moment you decide to sleep with someone the *choice* to expose yourself to stds becomes yours (with the exception of sleeping with a supposedly monogomous partner who was known to be uninfected when you entered the relationship and has cheated). No sexual encounter is without risk.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wishing Well

I guess when you bring steak to the bbq you just expect people to bring other meats of quality...not rotting onion meat. Being practical we do have to take responsibility for whats happened although it I will always blame her for this mainly because I reckon she knew she had it. But when you consider the severity of an outbreak you must really think hey I should get that look at. I do agree with you but many people have sexual encounters the world over each day and not every one of those ends up with someone catching an std.

I just cant comprehend the mind frame where you put sex first and risk infecting someone for a lifetime with a disease. I've turned down girls who have been keen since contracting this in bars just saying 'just beleive me, this isnt a good idea'. I suppose some people feel the risk can be minimised so why go with the whole chat thing but I still think thats unfair.

If I infect someone, who didn't know, I'd never forgive myself...but i guess thats because I have strong moral beliefs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Soraya1

Always a dilemma. When I was a teenager, I used to get oral coldsores every now and again (very infrequently though). I knew they were infectious, and would never kiss anyone if I had an outbreak. But there was no shame wrapped around it. I never told prospective partners I was prone to them now and then, because it was never seen as a big deal.

Then in my late-20s I got genital herpes from a boyfriend. Ever since, I have always disclosed to potential partners, as I feel it is a moral obligation.

I still don't mention my coldsores. I suppose that is wrong, but they are so very common, people in the UK generally don't see it as a big deal, and would probably wonder why you are even mentioning it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

Advertisement

Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      67,673
    • Total Posts
      450,692
  • Posts

    • undertsun
      This is my last finding: In vivo Knock-down of the HSV-1 Latency-Associated Transcript Reduces Reactivation from Latency. "We show that this treatment blocks reactivation in the majority of the rabbits."
    • mkumar
      Guys trying a New Way to take herpes Down , Detox Liver & Purify Blood will help just started a new way to tackle this , it's a 8 week course will update 
    • GotMeAtLast
      I ate...and ate...and ate. So glad I don't have to give them up!
    • StayingUpbeat
      There are currently two Phase 2 clinical trials of the effect of valacyclovir (i.e. Valtrex) at the NIH and University Hospital in Umeå, Sweden respectively for the sole purpose of measuring the impact to Alzheimers of taking Valacyclovir in HSV1+ individuals. Anti-viral Therapy in Alzheimer's Disease https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT03282916?recrs=ad&cond=Herpes+Simplex&rank=10 Feasibility and Effects of Valaciclovir Treatment in Persons With Early Alzheimer's Disease (VALZ-Pilot) https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT02997982?recrs=ad&cond=Herpes+Simplex&draw=2&rank=11 We should have some compelling evidence by about this time next year as the Swedish study has been going since 2016 and is set to conclude in April of next year.  The NIH study is set to conclude in 2022 but either way, on simply the mounting causal evidence, I'm going to continue taking my antivirals.
    • GotMeAtLast
      It still sucks for those of us in our 40's. Granted you will have to deal with it a lot longer than I, but it still sucks.
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.