Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  

My partner says he doesn't have it

Recommended Posts


Okay, so I went to urgent care last Wed because every time I used the bathroom I felt like I was on fire! I thought it was a UTI. They took a urine sample and then she said I should do a quick pelvic exam. She said immediately that she saw some sores. The exam was uncomfortable but wasn't PAINFUL. She tested for chlamydia, gonorrhea & tested for Herpes since she said that's what it looked like. I got a call late Friday afternoon telling me that I definitely tested positive for HSV2. I was devastated....still am!


I have two partners.....one that I've been seeing for a little over a year and the other for about nine months. Neither of them have any symptoms and have both had blood tests with negative results. The doctor put me on Valtrex for 10 days (still taking it). The burning urination went away in like 2 days. She also diagnosed me with Trichomoniasis at the same time. The 9-month partner says that his doctor is telling him that maybe the trich antibodies may have skewed my results.....is that possible? The burning urination started 2 days after I had sex with him. I called my OB/GYN to make an appointment for a follow-up, and the nurse asked me why in the world I wanted to come in if they already told me I had it. "If that's what they said, then that's what you have." She made me feel SOOOOO dirty. The 9-month partner has been trying to be supportive, but I think he's looking for something that's going to say that I don't have it. Is it even remotely possible that I don't have it? I plan to ask my OB/GYN to take a blood test anyway, but I'm just looking for some kind of hope here. I'm just really confused.

I'm a 33-year-old divorced mom of 2 who has NEVER had a problem getting dates so this is really affecting my self-esteem. I mean, will someone want me again? I haven't told the 1-year partner yet. I'm just not sure what to say.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I assume they did a swab test and that is what came back positive. It is my understanding that while you can get a false negative with a swab, they are never a false positive, as they test for the virus itself as opposed to the blood test which tests for the antibodies to the virus. Unfortunately, if the swab said positive for herpes, you have herpes.

If your doctor or nurses there have a negative attitude towards your diagnosis and you are not comfortable, find a new doctor. I went to a walk-in urgent care clinic and the doctor/nurses there were extremely sensitive to my situation and made me feel as comfortable as was possible considering what I was there for.

Don't waste your time on a blood test until at least 3 months after your first symptoms, as it will likely come back as a false negative, because it takes up to 3 months for your body to build the antibodies that the test looks for.

Have you actually seen both partners' negative test results and confirmed that they indeed were tests for herpes? Because when you ask for a full STD screening, it DOES NOT include testing for herpes. This is a blood test that must specifically be requested or doctors don't do it because it is expensive. Perhaps they were never even tested for herpes, or they were never tested at all and are either in denial that they have it, or they know they have it and there is no need for testing. If these are the only two sex partners you have ever had, one of them has it and gave it to you. If you had other sex partners in the past, the virus could have been contracted a while ago and remained dormant, if in fact your two recent partners are truly negative.

Either way, you have it, you can't control that fact, that won't change. What you can change and control is how you let it affect your life. Change your attitude and you change your condition, particularly since herpes is directly affected by stress and the strength/weakness of our immune system. Get your mind and body in a good place and hopefuly you will control the herpes and it won't control you!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, it was a swab test and that's what I was afraid of....that the positive result means that's it.

They're not the only 2 partners that I've ever had, but they're the only ones that I have currently. The 1-yr partner said that he has all his test results and that they tested for everything, including herpes (blood test). The 9-month partner said that they tested for everything, but when I told them that they don't normally include Herpes he called back and asked them to do it since they already had his blood. He keeps trying to convince me that because I don't look like any of the pictures that we've seen on the internet and because he doesn't have any lesions, etc that my results just don't seem consistent w/ herpes. I think he's scared. Lord knows I am.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello and welcome!:flowers:

Doctor and nurses make me so mad:madd: sometimes!

"H" is a very confusing virus, no two cases are a like. I knew something was wrong right after I was exposed. Went to the doctor he tested me for everything but HSV. He diagnosed me with a yest infection. After a month I knew something was still not right, went back and had the HSV blood test, 3 days later get the call saying "so sorry baby it was positive"

of course I had the same feeling you are having now, that has been 2 months, and now I hardly ever think about it. I promise it will be better!

I also want to tell you that I do not get blisters! (thank you Jesus!) just red, and a slight dis-charge... the pictures you see on the internet are scary!!

This is a wonderful site! there are lots of great people here!!

Come join us in live chat! you will meet alot of great folks!

Hang in there!!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Some insight

I myself has had trichomaniasis. I was pregnant and "we" (the doctors and I) thought it was recurrent yeast infection. When u're pregnant u get alot more discharge-but assuming once I asked for my 4rth tube of cream, and went thru my yeast pills, they should of checked-because unfortunately unless there is cause to, then no one does a wet mount for the presence or determination of Trich. Turns out my sons father had it (I was abstinent 2 yrs. before I met him) The burning was more than not caused by Trich....I had a slight burn. Men are carriers of Trich (of course not allll of them) but 90% of men have no symptoms, and never get treated till the woman shows signs of an infection, also another thing that is severly WACK is/good as well, is that its too weak to show up anally or orally in the throat- I mean if that were the case then it would of been more severe symptoms and I wouldn't have had it the entire time I was pregnant. So my ? is who gwv u the Trich 2? Most docs however if the man walks in and says his girlfriend has it, they will give them (sorry forgot the pill name) automatically without checking. But I would get a dfinite 2nd opinion, I dont go by what everybody else said. I have been misdiagnosed TWICE now in my life. Thank God back then I had a ppo- s so I switched around docs alll the time. I was misdiagnosed w/ a bladder infection I was told I didnt have one and went to the er 1 month later I had 10+ bacteria on test so it was just building and from there could of spread to the kidney wich is worse, and no one found the Trich until a few months after birth I TOOK THOSE VAGINAL TEST ON THE MARKET $15.99. The ones rt next to the urine tests and yeast treatments, IT WORKS- if yeast u get a normal PH - if not yeast u get a acidic ph- when I sw the results I knew it....anywho I've done tons of research on this topic STI's STD's and had some lab schooling...it helped me, and I haven't been on in awhile but I use to comment heavily for pregnant women cause I know the dread, but all that aside- if they were harboring Trich then Or 1 of them they/he might not be aware of the herpes either, So I am sorry I don't buy they're lame crap excuses. Cause my sons father had trich never knew it, and if my immune system didn't drop because of pregnany and it makes Trich symptoms rather noticable- Red rash on vagina that burns like 1st degree burns then I could of still been walking around w/ Trich-and I got MRSA in my 9th month of pre and my son @ 7days old in his genital region after circumcision unfortunately, so I was a sick mother, but cool now so u will be 2!!!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • Dusty321
      I have had a monogamous relationship for the last 6 years.  I did not have Herpes before the relationship.  My partner recently had an outbreak on the buttocks and was diagnosed with HSV2 about 2 months ago.  She said it was the first outbreak She had ever had. She has been taking valacyclovir for the last 2 months and we were intimate for the first time in about 4 months about a week ago.  Now I have an outbreak on my upper lip.  I read that this is not impossible, but rare. I wanted to ask others opinions on how HSV2 works, as I cannot help but find the situation really strange.  I totally understand that HSV2 can lie dormant for years, displaying no symptoms.  My partner says She has not been unfaithful, and I decided to believe her.  However, with this outbreak, a new doubt crept in, as I think it's really odd I would get an outbreak a week after being intimate, knowing I didn't have this before our relationship. I would appreciate hearing if this is possible, I love my partner and can't bear the doubt, but also don't want to feel I might be being blind.
    • speechless_1
      Hello, Im in the UK and have recently been diagnosed with herpes 2.  I am still coming to terms with it but i am keen to consider the stigma surrounding herpes.   If you don't mind.... would you tell me if you have told many people you have it?  What was their reaction?  Thanks guys x
    • Pes Pes
      Hi Guys! I am newly diagnosed with HSV-2 and its the 7th day and my 1st outbreak is over. One week before the diagnosis I was at the prime of my life and the news gave me depression and I wanted to commit suicide knowing that I have a stigmatized NO CURE DISEASE. After a lot of research online I came across the combination herpes cure that I need to try. I have already chatted the support and they are quite informing in their responses about the 4-6 months protocol. Anybody who has tried it kindly share your sentiments and I will appreciate the insights... I feel pity for my life dear God why me please...
    • Pes Pes
      Hi Guy! I am also two weeks into my first outbreak. This has made me do a lot of research for a permanent cure. I have seen Synergy Pharmaceuticals from Australia selling the combination herpes cure. Has anyone come across this? Does it look legit?
    • Thomas29
      I do pick them and pop them a lot so I think I’m just making it worse! Do they look like herpes to you though ?

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.