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My partner says he doesn't have it

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Okay, so I went to urgent care last Wed because every time I used the bathroom I felt like I was on fire! I thought it was a UTI. They took a urine sample and then she said I should do a quick pelvic exam. She said immediately that she saw some sores. The exam was uncomfortable but wasn't PAINFUL. She tested for chlamydia, gonorrhea & tested for Herpes since she said that's what it looked like. I got a call late Friday afternoon telling me that I definitely tested positive for HSV2. I was devastated....still am!


I have two partners.....one that I've been seeing for a little over a year and the other for about nine months. Neither of them have any symptoms and have both had blood tests with negative results. The doctor put me on Valtrex for 10 days (still taking it). The burning urination went away in like 2 days. She also diagnosed me with Trichomoniasis at the same time. The 9-month partner says that his doctor is telling him that maybe the trich antibodies may have skewed my results.....is that possible? The burning urination started 2 days after I had sex with him. I called my OB/GYN to make an appointment for a follow-up, and the nurse asked me why in the world I wanted to come in if they already told me I had it. "If that's what they said, then that's what you have." She made me feel SOOOOO dirty. The 9-month partner has been trying to be supportive, but I think he's looking for something that's going to say that I don't have it. Is it even remotely possible that I don't have it? I plan to ask my OB/GYN to take a blood test anyway, but I'm just looking for some kind of hope here. I'm just really confused.

I'm a 33-year-old divorced mom of 2 who has NEVER had a problem getting dates so this is really affecting my self-esteem. I mean, will someone want me again? I haven't told the 1-year partner yet. I'm just not sure what to say.

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I assume they did a swab test and that is what came back positive. It is my understanding that while you can get a false negative with a swab, they are never a false positive, as they test for the virus itself as opposed to the blood test which tests for the antibodies to the virus. Unfortunately, if the swab said positive for herpes, you have herpes.

If your doctor or nurses there have a negative attitude towards your diagnosis and you are not comfortable, find a new doctor. I went to a walk-in urgent care clinic and the doctor/nurses there were extremely sensitive to my situation and made me feel as comfortable as was possible considering what I was there for.

Don't waste your time on a blood test until at least 3 months after your first symptoms, as it will likely come back as a false negative, because it takes up to 3 months for your body to build the antibodies that the test looks for.

Have you actually seen both partners' negative test results and confirmed that they indeed were tests for herpes? Because when you ask for a full STD screening, it DOES NOT include testing for herpes. This is a blood test that must specifically be requested or doctors don't do it because it is expensive. Perhaps they were never even tested for herpes, or they were never tested at all and are either in denial that they have it, or they know they have it and there is no need for testing. If these are the only two sex partners you have ever had, one of them has it and gave it to you. If you had other sex partners in the past, the virus could have been contracted a while ago and remained dormant, if in fact your two recent partners are truly negative.

Either way, you have it, you can't control that fact, that won't change. What you can change and control is how you let it affect your life. Change your attitude and you change your condition, particularly since herpes is directly affected by stress and the strength/weakness of our immune system. Get your mind and body in a good place and hopefuly you will control the herpes and it won't control you!

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Yes, it was a swab test and that's what I was afraid of....that the positive result means that's it.

They're not the only 2 partners that I've ever had, but they're the only ones that I have currently. The 1-yr partner said that he has all his test results and that they tested for everything, including herpes (blood test). The 9-month partner said that they tested for everything, but when I told them that they don't normally include Herpes he called back and asked them to do it since they already had his blood. He keeps trying to convince me that because I don't look like any of the pictures that we've seen on the internet and because he doesn't have any lesions, etc that my results just don't seem consistent w/ herpes. I think he's scared. Lord knows I am.

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Hello and welcome!:flowers:

Doctor and nurses make me so mad:madd: sometimes!

"H" is a very confusing virus, no two cases are a like. I knew something was wrong right after I was exposed. Went to the doctor he tested me for everything but HSV. He diagnosed me with a yest infection. After a month I knew something was still not right, went back and had the HSV blood test, 3 days later get the call saying "so sorry baby it was positive"

of course I had the same feeling you are having now, that has been 2 months, and now I hardly ever think about it. I promise it will be better!

I also want to tell you that I do not get blisters! (thank you Jesus!) just red, and a slight dis-charge... the pictures you see on the internet are scary!!

This is a wonderful site! there are lots of great people here!!

Come join us in live chat! you will meet alot of great folks!

Hang in there!!

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Some insight

I myself has had trichomaniasis. I was pregnant and "we" (the doctors and I) thought it was recurrent yeast infection. When u're pregnant u get alot more discharge-but assuming once I asked for my 4rth tube of cream, and went thru my yeast pills, they should of checked-because unfortunately unless there is cause to, then no one does a wet mount for the presence or determination of Trich. Turns out my sons father had it (I was abstinent 2 yrs. before I met him) The burning was more than not caused by Trich....I had a slight burn. Men are carriers of Trich (of course not allll of them) but 90% of men have no symptoms, and never get treated till the woman shows signs of an infection, also another thing that is severly WACK is/good as well, is that its too weak to show up anally or orally in the throat- I mean if that were the case then it would of been more severe symptoms and I wouldn't have had it the entire time I was pregnant. So my ? is who gwv u the Trich 2? Most docs however if the man walks in and says his girlfriend has it, they will give them (sorry forgot the pill name) automatically without checking. But I would get a dfinite 2nd opinion, I dont go by what everybody else said. I have been misdiagnosed TWICE now in my life. Thank God back then I had a ppo- s so I switched around docs alll the time. I was misdiagnosed w/ a bladder infection I was told I didnt have one and went to the er 1 month later I had 10+ bacteria on test so it was just building and from there could of spread to the kidney wich is worse, and no one found the Trich until a few months after birth I TOOK THOSE VAGINAL TEST ON THE MARKET $15.99. The ones rt next to the urine tests and yeast treatments, IT WORKS- if yeast u get a normal PH - if not yeast u get a acidic ph- when I sw the results I knew it....anywho I've done tons of research on this topic STI's STD's and had some lab schooling...it helped me, and I haven't been on in awhile but I use to comment heavily for pregnant women cause I know the dread, but all that aside- if they were harboring Trich then Or 1 of them they/he might not be aware of the herpes either, So I am sorry I don't buy they're lame crap excuses. Cause my sons father had trich never knew it, and if my immune system didn't drop because of pregnany and it makes Trich symptoms rather noticable- Red rash on vagina that burns like 1st degree burns then I could of still been walking around w/ Trich-and I got MRSA in my 9th month of pre and my son @ 7days old in his genital region after circumcision unfortunately, so I was a sick mother, but cool now so u will be 2!!!

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Atrapasueños
      Hola chicos recibí mis resultados de mi cultivo de mis brotes en hombros y cuello y dio positivo me siento mal aunque ya sospechaba me niego a pensar que este virus es inofensivo ahora no sólo tengo que lidiar con mis brotes en mi cara o genitales también los que aparecen en mis hombros y cuello sólo les deseo lo mejor y cuiden mucho su cuerpo __________________________  Hi guys I got my results of my culture of my shoots on shoulders and neck and gave positive I feel bad even though I already suspected I refuse to think that this virus is harmless now not only do I have to deal with my outbreaks on my face or genitals also those that appear on my shoulders and neck I only wish you the best and take good care of your body
    • IcantThinkofaName
      I agree completely with @Dutchy and what she said. You are always going to think about this. Its best to get a conclusive answer if you can. I am not sure it is herpes. Sorry to ask, but: Is there any chance you could have been sexually assaulted at a young age and not remember? or  Were you  ever a wrestler or Boxer ? Those are the only two instances I can think of that would cause HSV 2 if you haven't had sexual contact  Chances are high that you don't have it. And, if it turns out to be HSV1 , you already have that , so no worries there either. I have had 2 Drs say a bacterial infection on my face was HSV1 . I have never had HSV1, My IGG tests results have always been negative too for HSV1 in the past and present too. ( It was really a bacterial infection, I had had an injection and was touching the area a lot and I infected it with my dirty hands. I then went to a infectious disease specialist who told me looked  bacterial not viral).  I did sadly get infected with Hsv2 almost 2 years ago now ( 1 year after the facial bacterial infection) and it was intense and severe. If I had had HSV1 my outbreak would have been less severe from what I understand. My Hsv 1 IGG tests are STILL negative. Those drs were wrong. Maybe yours are too. And if it is from a wetsuit, then people need to know that its a possible risk.  I truly wish your results to be negative.  You deserve peace. Best wishes to you.
    • IcantThinkofaName
      @Rain and Ashes get a blood test, don't go by visual diagnosis, esp. if you  are a virgin and haven't had sexual contact. It could be  a staph infection or somethign else Drs misdiagnose things all the time. Its terrible and unprofessional of them to refuse to do the bloodwork, and to only visually diagnose if you haven't had sex.  If its a privacy issue or not wanting it on your records, then  maybe go to an anonymous place and pay out of pocket. And if it is indeed HSV2, and you got it from a wetsuit, then there is a lot we don't know about this virus and your story needs to be shared, if it is indeed true. Best of Luck to you!
    • Ashleerae
      I totally see where you're coming from. Having herpes made me feel like the biggest piece of shit I could be, thought it would be nice to kill myself and not have to deal with it, but not a serious thought, just a fantasy.  I was diagnosed over 3 years ago with genital HSV-2. I can't be 100%, but I think I got it from my ex. Over the last 2 years, I've been hitting personal development hard and trying to get totally comfortable with myself for everything I am, including herpes. I've improved things about myself that I've struggled with my entire life and I won't stop striving to be the real me, not take everything in life so hard or seriously, and be somebody I could respect. I've become more confident, which I've never been. Now I see herpes as a little bit of a blessing (haha crazy), but without this, I may have never confronted my issues with myself and changed it. I am more empathic to myself and to other people rather than being self-centered and shallow like I was sometimes. Herpes forced me to love myself and become more resilient. I'm telling you this because it's normal to beat yourself up over this and feel ashamed, but fuck it. Don't feel ashamed. Own it and get so comfortable with it that nobody's opinion could sway your feelings about yourself. I don't mean tell everyone unless you want to. I've told my immediate family and 4 friends recently and they were all very receptive and said it's not a big deal - these are people I trust. And for some of us, we know it's not as big of a deal physically as we imagined it would be before we contracted it or during the worst outbreak(s) - for me it was emotionally destructive because I let it get to me. Let me tell you my first disclosure story.  A month and a half ago, I got drunk and was talking to this guy, a friend of a friend. We hit it off and were having fun. We got pretty drunk and hooked up and I didn't tell him. Wanna know how I felt after that? Anxious, fucking horrible, like a terrible person. And I'm not judging others here, but I judged myself hard because I felt like I had hurt someone. This was eating me alive. I was going to tell him the next day and then he was out with friends so I didn't want to ruin his night. Two days later I talked to him and asked him to call me (live in different cities). I had practiced how I was going to say this over and over. I told him we got a little carried away and asked if we used a condom (couldn't remember), we didn't. I apologized and told him my status and that I'm on repressive meds so it doesn't surface, but it's still possible that it would. I was expecting him to lash out, call me names, tell our mutual friends and all of his own friends, which would be his right. I was lucky and I didn't feel like I deserved his actual response due to the situation of not disclosing before anything happened. He said, "It's okay. I'll make a doctor's appointment to get tested and get on meds if I need to. It sounds like you've been beating yourself up about this, so stop doing that. It's fine. I had a condom in my bag that I found the next day, I should have used it. Really, don't worry." Seriously, this is how the conversation went. He tested negative and is going to test again in 6 months. And we've been talking for the last month and a half since, he told me he's glad he met me and had fun, and he's coming to visit for a weekend in October. I talked to our mutual friend, who one of my best friends that I trust; I told her after I told him and confirmed he hasn't told anyone else about my status (I asked him not to unless he does have it, then he can say whatever he wants).  The reason I'm telling you this is because I've learned an incredibly important lesson from this. I know that not disclosing is against my moral code and I don't want to give this to anyone without giving them the choice first because I wasn't given the option and it destroyed me for awhile. Condoms don't guarantee it won't be passed on. If I want to feel good about the person I am, this is a conversation I have to have with anyone I'm going to have any sexual contact with.  I also know I was lucky with this guy being so kind. He didn't have to be that way. This taught me a valuable lesson too. Choose wisely who I want in my life and who I trust. I'm not worried anymore what other people think of me; what do I think of them? If somebody says no after disclosing, that is their right and it has no bearing on me, it's not a diss. They don't want herpes and neither did I; maybe there could be a friendship there instead. Some people don't see this as a deal breaker though and I know I don't feel bad about myself for telling somebody the truth and giving them the option. I'm not proud about not disclosing first, but I made it right and know that's how I will handle it from now on.  I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do either. This was my experience and this is just what I learned. 
    • PhilFletch
      Thanks for the post! We appreciate it can sometimes be difficult to talk about the subject or even to go and see your GP about it. Thankfully theres lots of online companies now that do an online consultation to get your herpes meds delivered in the post. Have a look at PostMyMeds Ltd, https://postmymeds.co.uk

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