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besides condoms what else is safe?

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so, here it is. I am gay. My boyfriend knows I have genital Herpes. The trouble with our intimacy is that doesn't quite know what to do with me, and our sex life.

He realizes that I need to wear a condom if he is going to perform oral sex on me. The burning question that I have is this: can he touch my penis without fear of transmission? I feel that he is a afraid of that whole area of mine,

and I want to give him a correct and educated/evidence based answer. I have had very few outbreaks, perhaps 1 a year, and have had genital herpes for

greater than 10 years. I also decided to take suppressive therapy. Everything I read doesn't really address such a question. please help. I want us to have a meaningful sex life, but I don't want to jeopardize his health. Would love to hear from anyone who can offer me some guidance. thank you

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With suppressive meds, condoms and abstaining from sexual activity when you have any symptoms, the risk to your boyfriend is about 1% annually.

I'm careful about the whole genital region but my boyfriend isn't that afraid of herpes. He doesn't have it in any form and I take suppressive meds. We decided not to use condoms anymore and I tell him when I have symptoms and we abstain from sex, the risk is only raised to about 2.5% annually of him getting it. The info is from the CDC, I have done my research and so has my boyfriend. Maybe suggest your boyfriend doing some research or you two can do it together.

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Hey there,

That is a great question - did you ever find out the answer to it? I'm just newly diagnosed and haven't been intimate with anyone since then and am afraid of what I can and can't do with another guy. Any help you have would be greatly appreciated.


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    • Rockster
      Thanks Wilson! [mistaken posti don't get how i can delete it again, sorry]
    • Rockster
      (For my case: i am not diagnosed herpes. I had genital warts. 
      I can tell her a sex partner was diagnosed with HPV, and i pretty surely have it and that's why i do it with boxer short the next months. Hm.)   https://herpesopportunity.com/downloads/herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout.pdf https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm
    • IloveCoco
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      I THINK this will benefit us. If the FDA allows more aggressive research in the deadliest virus programs, such as HIV gene editing, then off-targeting and other safety issues might already be solved before Dr. Jerome  starts editing hsv in humans.

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