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lollipop634

I feel so guilty

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lollipop634

I contracted GH from my ex boyfriend about 3 year. He passed it on via a coldsore. I now have a new boyfriend who i have been dating for around a year.. and yes, i have slept with him without telling him i have GH. I feel so so so guilty and i know this is a horrible thing but i am so terrified to tell him i have the virus. Firstly i am scared in case he wants nothing to do with me, secondly because we live in a small community and i'm worried he will tell people. Also i am now guilty of putting someone who i love health at risk. I am struggling to sleep at night worrying about it. I need some support desperately! My outbreak are very very rare (i've had 3 in the 3 years) and i would never sleep with him if symptoms were there. :( I know people are going to say you need to tell him but i dnt no if i can.

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regret

well it doesnt mean he has it... the sooner you tell him the better it will be,,tell him you rarely break out so the chances of him getting it are slimmer..i wish you the best of luck...did you know with the information you got 3 yrs ago that you could give it to others when not having an outbreak? if the dr, told you this then i wouldnt feel so guilty,cuz many tell thier patients that.. good luck

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Coffeeless in Seattle
I contracted GH from my ex boyfriend about 3 year. He passed it on via a coldsore. I now have a new boyfriend who i have been dating for around a year.. and yes, i have slept with him without telling him i have GH. I feel so so so guilty and i know this is a horrible thing but i am so terrified to tell him i have the virus. Firstly i am scared in case he wants nothing to do with me, secondly because we live in a small community and i'm worried he will tell people. Also i am now guilty of putting someone who i love health at risk. I am struggling to sleep at night worrying about it. I need some support desperately! My outbreak are very very rare (i've had 3 in the 3 years) and i would never sleep with him if symptoms were there. :( I know people are going to say you need to tell him but i dnt no if i can.

My husband neglected to tell me he had herpes as well the first few times we went out. When he finally did I was a little upset to say the least but I forgave him and we did eventually get married. I didn't get my first outbreak until about 7 years later. we were very careful to never have sex while he had a blister but eventually it got me. You need to tell him regardless of the outcome. otherwise your relationship will be based in dishonesty and you will really feel terrible if you stay together and he eventually gets it.

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Denise 07

I've been with my husband for 21 yrs and married for 14 out of the 21 yrs. I got my first genital outbreak last November. We both had blood tests done and he was + to an old infection of hsv-1 his # was 5.21 but he has never had any outbreaks. He is considered asymptomatic because his lays dormant but he eventually passed it on to me. We both learned we had this last November. Back when we first met they didn't have tests for herpes and we never even discussed std's. I knew about them but at the time I only slept with one other person and we were together for 3 yrs. I did cheat on my now husband when we were dating but he forgave me. Anyway, you do need to tell him eventually. The longer you put it off the harder it will be for him to forgive you. This is how this dreadful disease is being passed on because nobody wants to tell. If he doesn't want to be with you than it wasn't meant to be. If I would have known that my husband had herpes when we first dated I would still be with him because I love him! You need to have trust and communication in relationships or they don't work out.

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Jewel

Lollipop634,

I did the same thing. The last few months have been hell for me. I can't sleep at night, tried anti-depressants and have thoughts of suicide.I've been so stressed I missed 2 days at work. Plus I friggin hate myself.

The good thing is your current boyfriend sounds like he's healthy right now. Problem is when you tell him you have Herpes, he might think you're a liar. This is not a good way to start a relationship. So, that Trust might be broken. That's been my experiece anyway, with my Ex-boyfriend he friggin hates me, he's sick with something, I'm not sure if it's herpes or something else, he assumes it herpes. He might "out me" at work because I work with him. So, I've been walking on egg shells at work. I've been thinking of quitting my job also.

The only good thing that has come from this, I will never sleep with another guy again. Never. I can't handle what I've been thru with him and my previous ex-boyfriend. My previous ex, knew I had herpes but he was still scared to get it. I broke up with him because of his fears of catching the virus but he did have respect for me because I did tell him I had herpes.

You can't hide herpes forever with your boyfriend? You just can't, so what are you going to do?

I know it's a horrible feeling. I was so much better off when I kept this thing to myself. My ex-boyfriend might be leaving this job in a few months, when and if that happens will be a good day for me. Only because I won't have that fear of being outed at work and I can maintain my job. But, I'm still sick to my stomach because I might have passed this virus on to someone and he's really sick with something right now.

I just want some peace.

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RealisticGal

Keeping it to yourself is not a good choice in the long run. First, it will eat away at your peace of mind. Then it is going to come around and bite you in the ass eventually.

Being open and telling potential partners shows you have integrity and honesty and can be trusted. When my friend told me he had herpes, so I could make an informed choice about sleeping with him, my esteem for him skyrocketed.

If a person you are considering sleeping with is not someone you can trust to keep this information private, why would you consider sleeping with that person???? :confused:

You can be a liar and hide it, or you can tell and be trustworthy and show you care about your partner.

There are no other choices. :wavey:

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