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Had it for years, and I have been with my wife for 15. We are both 45, her sex drive has diminished substantially, mostly due to her feeling out of shape and un-sexy. So here I am, virtually without the ob and she is not interested.....interesting how things are. Body perception is a big deal. I am in the best shape I have been in my whole life, I get a few looks now too and I think............. man when is my sex drive going to drop.....I think this Hsv stuff messes with your mind. Can't have it, can have it, can't, can. I hate to feel like a horn dog.......but damn. Sex is not the primary thing one thinks about at this age but it is still a important thing. I will continue to love my wife like always through thick and thin and good and bad. Not to offend but I think we have to become our own best lover with this stuff, take care of business, and get on with the more important part of our lives, family, work, and fun.

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I feel for you, Chirpes. Whether you're 25, 45, or 65, sex should be (and is) an important part of a romantic relationship... not only for its own obvious pleasures, but because it helps keep you connected on an emotional level.

You say you're in the best shape of your life. What do you do to keep in shape, and could you perhaps invite her to participate with you? Of course you don't want to emphasize the fact that she's gotten out of shape, but maybe suggest that you'd enjoy her company. Or find some activity that she enjoys (maybe not your favorite) and suggest you both do that.

It's obvious that you love her, but do you go out of your way to make her feel beautiful? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm not beautiful by any means, but when we make love, my partner says and does things that make me feel like the most desirable creature on earth. It inspires me, and we both reap the benefits.

One other thing to consider is the possibility that her hormone levels are changing. If she's in her 40's, she's approaching the age when that can start to happen. A check-up may be in order.

Best short term advice... make her feel beautiful and desirable. Sex is 90% in your head. Get inside hers and help her see that to YOU, she's hot.

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Canadian Daisy

Ms Lucy..how wonderfully put! The best advice that could be given you DID IT!! WTG! :flowers:

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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