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Chirpes

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Chirpes

Had it for years, and I have been with my wife for 15. We are both 45, her sex drive has diminished substantially, mostly due to her feeling out of shape and un-sexy. So here I am, virtually without the ob and she is not interested.....interesting how things are. Body perception is a big deal. I am in the best shape I have been in my whole life, I get a few looks now too and I think............. man when is my sex drive going to drop.....I think this Hsv stuff messes with your mind. Can't have it, can have it, can't, can. I hate to feel like a horn dog.......but damn. Sex is not the primary thing one thinks about at this age but it is still a important thing. I will continue to love my wife like always through thick and thin and good and bad. Not to offend but I think we have to become our own best lover with this stuff, take care of business, and get on with the more important part of our lives, family, work, and fun.

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MsLucy

I feel for you, Chirpes. Whether you're 25, 45, or 65, sex should be (and is) an important part of a romantic relationship... not only for its own obvious pleasures, but because it helps keep you connected on an emotional level.

You say you're in the best shape of your life. What do you do to keep in shape, and could you perhaps invite her to participate with you? Of course you don't want to emphasize the fact that she's gotten out of shape, but maybe suggest that you'd enjoy her company. Or find some activity that she enjoys (maybe not your favorite) and suggest you both do that.

It's obvious that you love her, but do you go out of your way to make her feel beautiful? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm not beautiful by any means, but when we make love, my partner says and does things that make me feel like the most desirable creature on earth. It inspires me, and we both reap the benefits.

One other thing to consider is the possibility that her hormone levels are changing. If she's in her 40's, she's approaching the age when that can start to happen. A check-up may be in order.

Best short term advice... make her feel beautiful and desirable. Sex is 90% in your head. Get inside hers and help her see that to YOU, she's hot.

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Canadian Daisy

Ms Lucy..how wonderfully put! The best advice that could be given you DID IT!! WTG! :flowers:

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    • TerribleAtUserNames
      Oh, sorry, I think the catchy title I used was very misleading. And I didn't intend that. I put 'miracle cure' as air quotes because I don't actually think I've discovered a true cure. I mean, I still can get outbreaks, the virus is obviously still there. I like to at least think I'm not that arrogant or naive. 🙄 I had not definitively said anything for a couple reasons, including that I don't prefer making overly definitive statements to things I don't know.  And I was more talking with regard to what you were saying in your second paragraph in your most recent reply, whether tissue absorption had any additional effect to simple topical application. So, hopefully that's cleared up. But it is effectively a functional cure for me. In so far as I've gone from permanent outbreaks to one maybe every... 8ish months? I barely remember I have it.  And the point is that the virus has really impacted some people's lives. To the point where they take crazy--high risk--'treatments' or think about self harm. And if some other people can get the relief I've gotten from something so stupidly simple, I want them to be able to have that too. Especially given that the risk-reward ratio is--in my opinion at least--very favourable. I mean, its like literally 20-30 seconds of isopropyl alcohol a day. If it doesn't do jack for you in two weeks, move on--y'know? But I assume if it acts a particular way for me, it will likely act that way for at least someone else. And that could really change someone's life... Like it did mine.  Cheers, 
    • Cas9
      @TerribleAtUserNames OK, you need to understand the science. Alcohol does not seep into a nerve cell and kill the latent virus; That's a scientific fact. So you don't need to worry about checking. All the alcohol does is kill the virus on the skin surface. Whether it gets a little deeper in the skin layers and kills virus better than soap and water, I can't say for sure. Obviously, popping a blister and using alcohol will have a more drying effect than soap and water. The bottom line is that killing a herpes virus is easy when it's outside the nerve cell. Killing it in a nerve cell is difficult because anything that gets into the cell and kills the virus (breaking up it's dna), must not also damage the cell's dna. You need a smart bomb to do that. That's what gene editing is. It is programmed to have the ability to cut out dna segments specific to the virus without touching the cells dna. You have this image of the cell as a container and the alcohol just pours into it and kills the virus. If that was the case, it would destroy the cell's dna also. Cells are living things that have receptors on their cellular surface. Anything that gets into that cell, must have the protein that matches with one of the cell's receptors (like a key to a lock), which in turn causes the cell to let the substance enter. That's one method of how something gets in a cell. Do you honestly think that in all the decades that great scientific minds have tried to tackle this problem, that they simply missed your alcohol cure? C'mon man!!!      
    • dont quit!17
      That would be nice to have as an option. 
    • dont quit!17
      The momentum slowed down, when that forum member asked for a timeline. That is the last thing we should be asking. That's pretty frustrating. 
    • TerribleAtUserNames
      Hey everyone, thanks for responding! So you know, I updated the original post with negative effects I've experienced with alcohol as treatment, so feel free to check that out if you're curious.  Now, to what you guys were saying...    MaxTX: I actually use alcohol as my disinfectant of choice for most wounds. And sutiability seems to vary based on the type of alcohol used (says the internet). That being said, you are right apparently--but this isn't about the best wound treatment method. Its about stopping outbreaks. Regardless, I suspect the deleterious effects are fairly minor if you're trying to disinfect most wounds, but that's totally my personal opinion.  None the less, I'd suggest giving it a shot for outbreak prevention. It certainly works for me, hopefully it will for you too. And compared to taking an experimental vaccine or something like that, wouldn't this be easy and super low risk to try? Also if you google 'herpes' and 'alcohol' you can find a number of hits suggesting its use as a disinfectant for the sores.   Tired of Waiting: I'm sorry, it was a long time ago that I read her talking about it. But from what I remember, she was talking about wiping down there with alcohol, and how it helped with her outbreaks. I remember her also saying it burned like a mofo at first, but eventually became kinda second nature. I don't know what type of alcohol she used, sorry. Again, if you're concerned, maybe ask your doctor about safety? Like I said, isopropyl has worked well for me. I actually do use it before sex for that reason, back when I was having sex that is. Across 3 partners used with, no known infections--but given that I have hsv 1, and like 50-60% of the population is infected already, but only 10% present with symptoms, that could mean nothing. Unfortunately, I'm not a doctor, and certainly not one that has researched this scientifically, so I can't give you a firm answer for transmission prevention during sex. Personally, I'm confident in at least isopropyl alcohol's herpes killing abilities, even if just topically. For better or worse, real or imagined (but I suspect real), I let myself relax a lot more when using it before sex.  And then again after sex, for my own sake, hahaha, as I'm not overly keen on risking anything else. However, even this is something to consult a doctor about--I feel like there is conflicting information on whether it can be helpful post coitus, or whether it can actually increase the risk of getting an sti vs. simply washing. Imo, do some research and ask a physician to confirm or deny what you've learned.   Cas9: Soap and water never worked anywhere close to as well for me. Soap and water still meant permanent outbreak. So I suspect the alcohol is doing much more. I should clarify though, that I do actually dilligently use soap and water as well--the whole regular bathing thing 😁 I know you suggested to Tired of Waiting that it wouldn't affect outbreak frequency or the latent virus. I can't obviously check my own latent virus levels, but yes I can still get outbreaks if I stop using the alcohol. However I can, indeed, use it as a prophylactic for outbreaks, and it does prevent me from getting them the vast majority of the time. Perhaps because that kind of tissue is more absorbent or something? Or perhaps when topically applied the alcohol is significantly more potent and herpes unfriendly--which I believe really is also the case from what I've read. I know though that I can't discontinue alcohol treatment for more than 6ish days (my limit so far) without flaring up again. And with twice daily showers, that would strongly imply that soap and water is really not helping the same way.  Cheers, guys! 
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