Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
Driven3

I just can't get the words out!

Recommended Posts

Driven3

Hello, I have had HSV 2 for about 8 years now and have been dating someone for a couple of months now and haven't needed to tell hiim yet. For the past 3 days I have been trying to tell him, but I JUST CAN'T GET THE WORDS OUT! This will be my 4th time telling someone and I have only had one negative response, but I am petrified to say it. I keep waiting for the perfect moment and it's hasn't come. For some reason it seems harder than any other time. I know I will feel 100% better once I tell him, regardless of his response, but I keep chickening out. I can barely say the word "Herpes" out loud by myself. I need advise!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shayna

When people have lived long enough they usually have something they aren't particularly happy or proud to share. What if you started by saying lets talk about everything we'll be bringing to the relationship table here.

My last long term boyfriend started a conversation with me that way when we both knew we wanted to take our relationship to the next level. It felt safe and easy for us both to spill any beans at the same time that we wanted each other to know.

I know it's different for everybody. Good luck and I wish you the very best!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
leo 1964

I know how you feel. This is the first time I need to tell someone and I can't get it out of my mouth either. I got herpes from my husband and still I can't help but feel dirty whenever I think about it. Its not fair. I am in love with someone and had to put off serious sex for awhile. I can't do it anymore. Time is running out and I think I need to end it or tell him. How do you say it? The other relationships you had, did you use condoms? Was that safe? Did they have herpes also?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
heybabysmile131

When my now boyfriend and i were talking i had told him there was something i needed to tell him and that i was working up the courage to do it. I didnt say it was a bad thing i just said it was something he should know. After shutting him down for sex a couple times i finally worked up the couage and told him one night. He made me his girlfriend a few hours later! Just work up your courage and make sure this person is really who you want to be with. Goodluck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2010sunshine

Boy do I know how you feel. I have felt like damaged goods for years since my boyfriend cheated on me and left me with his disease. I have stayed away mostly from dating because of it. But over the years I have found that you are scared of rejection, but if the guy "truly" doesn't care for you then why would you want him anyway. I know easier said than done. But truth is you didn't ask for this disease and he can't blame you and should appreciate that you care enough to tell him. Take a deep breath and believe in yourself. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shayna
Boy do I know how you feel. I have felt like damaged goods for years since my boyfriend cheated on me and left me with his disease. I have stayed away mostly from dating because of it. But over the years I have found that you are scared of rejection, but if the guy "truly" doesn't care for you then why would you want him anyway. I know easier said than done. But truth is you didn't ask for this disease and he can't blame you and should appreciate that you care enough to tell him. Take a deep breath and believe in yourself. Good luck!

I loved this part "believe in yourself"!

Perfect!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

Advertisement

Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      68,389
    • Total Posts
      456,721
  • Posts

    • viralfrog
      Having HSV-2 has not bothered me at all for casual sex. I'm just avoiding sex during outbreaks, on suppressive therapy and using condoms every time with casual partners. Since my outbreaks appear on top of my penis, even during an outbreak the risk is minimal if I put a condom on as soon as I take my underwear off.  I guess it might be a slightly different case for a girl as if you have external lesions around your groin you could still infect someone even using a condom. And of course, condoms can break, which has happened to me over 10 times and caused myself to get infected in the first place.  I see it as a much more difficult now having a serious relationship, because I can't feel much with a condom on and really want stop using them. However, I don't want to put my new girlfriend to any risk - I would feel terrible if I infected her. 
    • viralfrog
      Does anyone have experience about people's reactions to Herpes in Asia? Personally I live in Thailand where I also caught the virus as a condom broke 4 years ago.  Unfortunately I infected my ex-girlfriend with HSV-2. This was just after I had caught the virus myself and we had sex before I noticed and realised what it was. In the beginning, a local doctor told me I have just hurt my foreskin with my jeans' zipper and the tests came as negative. After getting tested later it came as positive.  Anyways, my ex-gf (well educated, professional, 26 years old then) she had no idea what Herpes was in the first place. She didn't really care too much about it and didn't bother to get tested. During our 3 year relationship we kept having unprotected sex as usual and she never had any issues until at the end one day. She had a very minor outbreak once and nothing after that (lucky her, no like myself who gets terrible symptoms non-stop). I know she has a strong immune system, because she was never sick despite myself having bad colds quite often. In any case, she could not care less about this virus and didn't mind at all.

      I've seen a lot of hysteria surrounding Herpes in Europe and the US. What has been your experience in South-East Asian countries like Thailand? Do people perceive HSV-2 as a worrying disease? 
    • Burty
      The full article is behind a paywall but you could write the the authors and request a copy.
    • OFMDH
      The jury is still out as there needs to be additional experiments. Editas' results make me believe dosing was insufficient among other issues.
    • moialbalushi
      Wow interesting !! But how did they provide it to him !! I mean he is 27 years old !!
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.