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NowWhat2010

I really don't know what to do... or even how to move foward with life.

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NowWhat2010

I am 22 years old, and have only been with one person who I was with for four years, he had cheated on me one time that i knew of, and than after we broke up i almost had sex with someone else and he didn't have a condom so i said no but apparently he still could have been the cause which is highly likely. Unfortunately, shortly after that I found out I had genital herpes. I am so upset, I don't know how to handle this. I feel like my life is over. Who is going to want to be with me now... I know if it was me and someone told me they had it. I would run in the other direction. So how could i really expect anything more from someone else. When i found out i told my mom and a few people i trusted because i wanted to die. And truthfully most of the time when I think about having it, thats how I think, I would never actually do anything to hurt myself, but i just want to crawl into a ball and sleep forever. And it makes me so angry and so upset because so many of my friends slept around and I never did and I am the one who ends up with this horrible disease. How is this fair? And some people go on just sleeping with people and I could not do that put someone else through what I am going through. I don't get it, but IT is killing me, and I am just looking for some help because I truly do not know how to deal with this???

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IllicitDreams

I know exactly how you feel.

Im 23. Ive never been promiscuous and ive trusted and been friends with (and still know) every single person ive ever slept with.

How do you go on with your life? I honestly dont know. I guess because theres no other choice in the matter really.

How do you feel good about yourself? I guess you have to tell yourself that you didnt get this because your dirty or disgusting. We were unfortunatly the unlucky ones... it has to happen to someone and it was us... its not fair, its not even the slightest bit fair... but its reality.

The next person you are with will see you for who you are not that you were unlucky enough to catch a virus... and no your right, may not want to risk catching it too... and thats their choice to make... but someone will love you enough not to care and love and respect you, because you gave them that choice. Not many people tell... as we now know.

They say it gets better with time... xxxx

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livinglife06

You're not alone!

I'm 22 as well and was just diagnosed a little over a week ago. I definitely understand what you are saying. I'm not even entirely sure who I got it from because none of my partners had signs or symptoms... and I've never been sexually promiscuous either. Guess we're just the lucky ones.

When I found out that it was herpes, I told this guy I had been talking to for 2 weeks right away, assuming it had to be him that gave it to me. We're not entirely sure if it's him (he's getting tested soon) but he has stuck by my side regardless.

You can't let this skin condition get the best of you. I'm sure you have a lot to offer to someone and you will find someone who loves you for you. My advice is to read up on everything on the right hand side of this site because knowledge is power and when it comes time to tell someone you have herpes you can inform them. You'll find out through your research that it doesn't have to be a big deal and you can live a totally normal life.

It's really rough at first, but keep hanging out here and you will hopefully feel better in no time! :itllbeok:

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IllicitDreams

I have a partner. We've been together a year. I told him the same day I found out.

I thought id had it for years without knowing... theres some doubt in that now because its gotten really bad all of a sudden. Its all very odd.

So I havent crossed the 'conversation' bridge really yet. I wouldnt even know where to start as I can imagine the look on whoevers face... and how the rejection will feel.

Hopefully in some way it will make us better people... more understanding and accepting. We have to cling to something right?

I hope today you feel that tiny bit better x

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RealisticGal
I am 22 years old, and have only been with one person who I was with for four years, he had cheated on me one time that i knew of, and than after we broke up i almost had sex with someone else and he didn't have a condom so i said no but apparently he still could have been the cause which is highly likely.

Would you be willing to try to clarify this a little bit for us?

I don't understand how you can "almost" have sex with someone, but not do it, to the extent that that person becomes a likely candidate as your giver.

What exactly did you do that was "almost sex?"

Keep in mind that I'm a lot older than you. My generation and yours often have very different perceptions of what is considered sex. I know a lot of you, no thanks to one of our former presidents, seem to think that oral is not sex (but it is). :rolleyes:

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NowWhat2010

well stupidly assuming he would automatically put on a condom we were skin to skin but he did not penetrate

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    • TerribleAtUserNames
      Oh, sorry, I think the catchy title I used was very misleading. And I didn't intend that. I put 'miracle cure' as air quotes because I don't actually think I've discovered a true cure. I mean, I still can get outbreaks, the virus is obviously still there. I like to at least think I'm not that arrogant or naive. 🙄 I had not definitively said anything for a couple reasons, including that I don't prefer making overly definitive statements to things I don't know.  And I was more talking with regard to what you were saying in your second paragraph in your most recent reply, whether tissue absorption had any additional effect to simple topical application. So, hopefully that's cleared up. But it is effectively a functional cure for me. In so far as I've gone from permanent outbreaks to one maybe every... 8ish months? I barely remember I have it.  And the point is that the virus has really impacted some people's lives. To the point where they take crazy--high risk--'treatments' or think about self harm. And if some other people can get the relief I've gotten from something so stupidly simple, I want them to be able to have that too. Especially given that the risk-reward ratio is--in my opinion at least--very favourable. I mean, its like literally 20-30 seconds of isopropyl alcohol a day. If it doesn't do jack for you in two weeks, move on--y'know? But I assume if it acts a particular way for me, it will likely act that way for at least someone else. And that could really change someone's life... Like it did mine.  Cheers, 
    • Cas9
      @TerribleAtUserNames OK, you need to understand the science. Alcohol does not seep into a nerve cell and kill the latent virus; That's a scientific fact. So you don't need to worry about checking. All the alcohol does is kill the virus on the skin surface. Whether it gets a little deeper in the skin layers and kills virus better than soap and water, I can't say for sure. Obviously, popping a blister and using alcohol will have a more drying effect than soap and water. The bottom line is that killing a herpes virus is easy when it's outside the nerve cell. Killing it in a nerve cell is difficult because anything that gets into the cell and kills the virus (breaking up it's dna), must not also damage the cell's dna. You need a smart bomb to do that. That's what gene editing is. It is programmed to have the ability to cut out dna segments specific to the virus without touching the cells dna. You have this image of the cell as a container and the alcohol just pours into it and kills the virus. If that was the case, it would destroy the cell's dna also. Cells are living things that have receptors on their cellular surface. Anything that gets into that cell, must have the protein that matches with one of the cell's receptors (like a key to a lock), which in turn causes the cell to let the substance enter. That's one method of how something gets in a cell. Do you honestly think that in all the decades that great scientific minds have tried to tackle this problem, that they simply missed your alcohol cure? C'mon man!!!      
    • dont quit!17
      That would be nice to have as an option. 
    • dont quit!17
      The momentum slowed down, when that forum member asked for a timeline. That is the last thing we should be asking. That's pretty frustrating. 
    • TerribleAtUserNames
      Hey everyone, thanks for responding! So you know, I updated the original post with negative effects I've experienced with alcohol as treatment, so feel free to check that out if you're curious.  Now, to what you guys were saying...    MaxTX: I actually use alcohol as my disinfectant of choice for most wounds. And sutiability seems to vary based on the type of alcohol used (says the internet). That being said, you are right apparently--but this isn't about the best wound treatment method. Its about stopping outbreaks. Regardless, I suspect the deleterious effects are fairly minor if you're trying to disinfect most wounds, but that's totally my personal opinion.  None the less, I'd suggest giving it a shot for outbreak prevention. It certainly works for me, hopefully it will for you too. And compared to taking an experimental vaccine or something like that, wouldn't this be easy and super low risk to try? Also if you google 'herpes' and 'alcohol' you can find a number of hits suggesting its use as a disinfectant for the sores.   Tired of Waiting: I'm sorry, it was a long time ago that I read her talking about it. But from what I remember, she was talking about wiping down there with alcohol, and how it helped with her outbreaks. I remember her also saying it burned like a mofo at first, but eventually became kinda second nature. I don't know what type of alcohol she used, sorry. Again, if you're concerned, maybe ask your doctor about safety? Like I said, isopropyl has worked well for me. I actually do use it before sex for that reason, back when I was having sex that is. Across 3 partners used with, no known infections--but given that I have hsv 1, and like 50-60% of the population is infected already, but only 10% present with symptoms, that could mean nothing. Unfortunately, I'm not a doctor, and certainly not one that has researched this scientifically, so I can't give you a firm answer for transmission prevention during sex. Personally, I'm confident in at least isopropyl alcohol's herpes killing abilities, even if just topically. For better or worse, real or imagined (but I suspect real), I let myself relax a lot more when using it before sex.  And then again after sex, for my own sake, hahaha, as I'm not overly keen on risking anything else. However, even this is something to consult a doctor about--I feel like there is conflicting information on whether it can be helpful post coitus, or whether it can actually increase the risk of getting an sti vs. simply washing. Imo, do some research and ask a physician to confirm or deny what you've learned.   Cas9: Soap and water never worked anywhere close to as well for me. Soap and water still meant permanent outbreak. So I suspect the alcohol is doing much more. I should clarify though, that I do actually dilligently use soap and water as well--the whole regular bathing thing 😁 I know you suggested to Tired of Waiting that it wouldn't affect outbreak frequency or the latent virus. I can't obviously check my own latent virus levels, but yes I can still get outbreaks if I stop using the alcohol. However I can, indeed, use it as a prophylactic for outbreaks, and it does prevent me from getting them the vast majority of the time. Perhaps because that kind of tissue is more absorbent or something? Or perhaps when topically applied the alcohol is significantly more potent and herpes unfriendly--which I believe really is also the case from what I've read. I know though that I can't discontinue alcohol treatment for more than 6ish days (my limit so far) without flaring up again. And with twice daily showers, that would strongly imply that soap and water is really not helping the same way.  Cheers, guys! 
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