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NowWhat2010

I really don't know what to do... or even how to move foward with life.

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NowWhat2010

I am 22 years old, and have only been with one person who I was with for four years, he had cheated on me one time that i knew of, and than after we broke up i almost had sex with someone else and he didn't have a condom so i said no but apparently he still could have been the cause which is highly likely. Unfortunately, shortly after that I found out I had genital herpes. I am so upset, I don't know how to handle this. I feel like my life is over. Who is going to want to be with me now... I know if it was me and someone told me they had it. I would run in the other direction. So how could i really expect anything more from someone else. When i found out i told my mom and a few people i trusted because i wanted to die. And truthfully most of the time when I think about having it, thats how I think, I would never actually do anything to hurt myself, but i just want to crawl into a ball and sleep forever. And it makes me so angry and so upset because so many of my friends slept around and I never did and I am the one who ends up with this horrible disease. How is this fair? And some people go on just sleeping with people and I could not do that put someone else through what I am going through. I don't get it, but IT is killing me, and I am just looking for some help because I truly do not know how to deal with this???

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IllicitDreams

I know exactly how you feel.

Im 23. Ive never been promiscuous and ive trusted and been friends with (and still know) every single person ive ever slept with.

How do you go on with your life? I honestly dont know. I guess because theres no other choice in the matter really.

How do you feel good about yourself? I guess you have to tell yourself that you didnt get this because your dirty or disgusting. We were unfortunatly the unlucky ones... it has to happen to someone and it was us... its not fair, its not even the slightest bit fair... but its reality.

The next person you are with will see you for who you are not that you were unlucky enough to catch a virus... and no your right, may not want to risk catching it too... and thats their choice to make... but someone will love you enough not to care and love and respect you, because you gave them that choice. Not many people tell... as we now know.

They say it gets better with time... xxxx

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livinglife06

You're not alone!

I'm 22 as well and was just diagnosed a little over a week ago. I definitely understand what you are saying. I'm not even entirely sure who I got it from because none of my partners had signs or symptoms... and I've never been sexually promiscuous either. Guess we're just the lucky ones.

When I found out that it was herpes, I told this guy I had been talking to for 2 weeks right away, assuming it had to be him that gave it to me. We're not entirely sure if it's him (he's getting tested soon) but he has stuck by my side regardless.

You can't let this skin condition get the best of you. I'm sure you have a lot to offer to someone and you will find someone who loves you for you. My advice is to read up on everything on the right hand side of this site because knowledge is power and when it comes time to tell someone you have herpes you can inform them. You'll find out through your research that it doesn't have to be a big deal and you can live a totally normal life.

It's really rough at first, but keep hanging out here and you will hopefully feel better in no time! :itllbeok:

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IllicitDreams

I have a partner. We've been together a year. I told him the same day I found out.

I thought id had it for years without knowing... theres some doubt in that now because its gotten really bad all of a sudden. Its all very odd.

So I havent crossed the 'conversation' bridge really yet. I wouldnt even know where to start as I can imagine the look on whoevers face... and how the rejection will feel.

Hopefully in some way it will make us better people... more understanding and accepting. We have to cling to something right?

I hope today you feel that tiny bit better x

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RealisticGal
I am 22 years old, and have only been with one person who I was with for four years, he had cheated on me one time that i knew of, and than after we broke up i almost had sex with someone else and he didn't have a condom so i said no but apparently he still could have been the cause which is highly likely.

Would you be willing to try to clarify this a little bit for us?

I don't understand how you can "almost" have sex with someone, but not do it, to the extent that that person becomes a likely candidate as your giver.

What exactly did you do that was "almost sex?"

Keep in mind that I'm a lot older than you. My generation and yours often have very different perceptions of what is considered sex. I know a lot of you, no thanks to one of our former presidents, seem to think that oral is not sex (but it is). :rolleyes:

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NowWhat2010

well stupidly assuming he would automatically put on a condom we were skin to skin but he did not penetrate

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      Having HSV-2 has not bothered me at all for casual sex. I'm just avoiding sex during outbreaks, on suppressive therapy and using condoms every time with casual partners. Since my outbreaks appear on top of my penis, even during an outbreak the risk is minimal if I put a condom on as soon as I take my underwear off.  I guess it might be a slightly different case for a girl as if you have external lesions around your groin you could still infect someone even using a condom. And of course, condoms can break, which has happened to me over 10 times and caused myself to get infected in the first place.  I see it as a much more difficult now having a serious relationship, because I can't feel much with a condom on and really want stop using them. However, I don't want to put my new girlfriend to any risk - I would feel terrible if I infected her. 
    • viralfrog
      Does anyone have experience about people's reactions to Herpes in Asia? Personally I live in Thailand where I also caught the virus as a condom broke 4 years ago.  Unfortunately I infected my ex-girlfriend with HSV-2. This was just after I had caught the virus myself and we had sex before I noticed and realised what it was. In the beginning, a local doctor told me I have just hurt my foreskin with my jeans' zipper and the tests came as negative. After getting tested later it came as positive.  Anyways, my ex-gf (well educated, professional, 26 years old then) she had no idea what Herpes was in the first place. She didn't really care too much about it and didn't bother to get tested. During our 3 year relationship we kept having unprotected sex as usual and she never had any issues until at the end one day. She had a very minor outbreak once and nothing after that (lucky her, no like myself who gets terrible symptoms non-stop). I know she has a strong immune system, because she was never sick despite myself having bad colds quite often. In any case, she could not care less about this virus and didn't mind at all.

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    • Burty
      The full article is behind a paywall but you could write the the authors and request a copy.
    • OFMDH
      The jury is still out as there needs to be additional experiments. Editas' results make me believe dosing was insufficient among other issues.
    • moialbalushi
      Wow interesting !! But how did they provide it to him !! I mean he is 27 years old !!
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