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blissbaby

they think i cheated

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blissbaby

my boyfriend recently told his parents that i apparently have herpes. he was doing really well about it, but now he's having doubts about my fidelity because he's never had any symptoms of the virus before. his mother out and out accused me of screwing around on him. he is the ONLY boy i have EVER been with and ever have had the urge TO be with. how can i possibly make them realize that i have never and will never cheat on the man i love?

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Denise 07

Has your boyfriend gotten tested yet? If not he should because than he will know for sure that he indeed has herpes and needs to know the facts about it. My husband got tested after I had my first genital outbreak last November and he tested + to an old infection to hsv. My husband is asymptomatic because he doesn't get outbreaks but can still pass it on. We never knew this until last year and we've been married for 14 yrs and have two kid's. I guess in my case it layed dormant which can happen alot. How long have you and your boyfriend been together? In normal circumstances the virus takes 2-14 days before showing symptoms after being exposed. Also what type of hsv do you have? If you have hsv-1 and the outbreak came out on the genitals that is from oral sex which means your boyfriend has oral hsv-1. If he gets coldsores on his lips he can pass it to your genitals by giving you oral sex. Also you don't have to have a coldsore present this is called shedding the virus which people don't know when they are shedding. Especially if they don't even know they have herpes. I would direct him to this site to get more education about this virus. He can click onto the links toward the right side of the screen to see what herpes is all about. Good Luck!

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hopeful88

I'm with Denise. I have been with my husband (faithfully) for 5 years and it just showed up, out of the blue! The statistics state that 80-90% of people who have it don't even know. MANY people do not have symptoms (including my husband). The more I research this virus, the more I realize that anything is possible with it. Print out articles about asymptomatic herpes and viral shedding - then show your boyfriend. I hope things work out for the best. :wavey:

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blissbaby

well, the truth is that neither of us has actually gotten tested yet. we're going to the health department on monday. we talked about it last night. i told him tearfully that i have never cheated on him.. he said that it didn't make any sense, he'd never had symptoms, blah blah blah. he told me he believed me, but i don't know if he really does or not. all of this, i believe, is stemming from his fear of believing that a) he has the virus in the first place, and i DO understand him not wanting to admit it, because it's hard to come to terms with, and B) that he actually passed it on to me.

but really, who the hell knows? maybe this outbreak is just a freak occurrence of something else? i'm definitely not holding out for that, nor do i believe that is the case, but it'd be a great thing to find out.

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    • viralfrog
      Having HSV-2 has not bothered me at all for casual sex. I'm just avoiding sex during outbreaks, on suppressive therapy and using condoms every time with casual partners. Since my outbreaks appear on top of my penis, even during an outbreak the risk is minimal if I put a condom on as soon as I take my underwear off.  I guess it might be a slightly different case for a girl as if you have external lesions around your groin you could still infect someone even using a condom. And of course, condoms can break, which has happened to me over 10 times and caused myself to get infected in the first place.  I see it as a much more difficult now having a serious relationship, because I can't feel much with a condom on and really want stop using them. However, I don't want to put my new girlfriend to any risk - I would feel terrible if I infected her. 
    • viralfrog
      Does anyone have experience about people's reactions to Herpes in Asia? Personally I live in Thailand where I also caught the virus as a condom broke 4 years ago.  Unfortunately I infected my ex-girlfriend with HSV-2. This was just after I had caught the virus myself and we had sex before I noticed and realised what it was. In the beginning, a local doctor told me I have just hurt my foreskin with my jeans' zipper and the tests came as negative. After getting tested later it came as positive.  Anyways, my ex-gf (well educated, professional, 26 years old then) she had no idea what Herpes was in the first place. She didn't really care too much about it and didn't bother to get tested. During our 3 year relationship we kept having unprotected sex as usual and she never had any issues until at the end one day. She had a very minor outbreak once and nothing after that (lucky her, no like myself who gets terrible symptoms non-stop). I know she has a strong immune system, because she was never sick despite myself having bad colds quite often. In any case, she could not care less about this virus and didn't mind at all.

      I've seen a lot of hysteria surrounding Herpes in Europe and the US. What has been your experience in South-East Asian countries like Thailand? Do people perceive HSV-2 as a worrying disease? 
    • Burty
      The full article is behind a paywall but you could write the the authors and request a copy.
    • OFMDH
      The jury is still out as there needs to be additional experiments. Editas' results make me believe dosing was insufficient among other issues.
    • moialbalushi
      Wow interesting !! But how did they provide it to him !! I mean he is 27 years old !!
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