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Lavendered

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Lavendered

I just wanted to share that there are people who don't bat an eye at our status.

I have been seeing someone for the last couple of weeks. We've spent quite a bit of time together and talked about how important honesty is, etc. I felt that even if he ended up rejecting me, that he was honourable enough to realize what I was telling him is private and personal. I told him about ten days after meeting him and he didn't bat an eye. I showed him some literature and then he spent hours doing his own research online. He said that it didn't change how he felt and even had his own blood test done to see if he carries either strain.

I went on suppressive therapy and we've just started being intimate (with condoms, of course). I don't want to get ahead of myself but I do like him and physical intimacy is really important to me so it's nice to see that we're sexually compatible too ;)

I did have a hard time telling him. I didn't act ashamed but I did tell him how I wanted to give him a choice, since this choice was made for me without my consent. He totally appreciated that. I did let out a few tears, because I'm new to this and it's hard to tell someone that you like about being positive.

I'm glad he took it so well. I had a feeling he would or I wouldn't have told him or continued on with the relationship. Gone are the days of casual sex :(

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SummerGal

Congratulations!

Yes, I recently told a friend about my HSV status and she told me jokingly, "You're whoring days are over!" It's not a bad thing that the days of casual sex are gone for us.

And yes, there are lots of people who honestly don't care. But I think a lot of us focus on the idea that HSV is a dealbreaker to a lot of people. And a lot of us have also had horrible experiences with people who have been unkind or insensitive to HSV.

Good luck with your new relationship!

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Firehorsewoman
Congratulations!

Yes, I recently told a friend about my HSV status and she told me jokingly, "You're whoring days are over!" It's not a bad thing that the days of casual sex are gone for us.

I agree. But, not that casual sex is not out there if you want it even with herpes or another STD. Many men on the herpes "dating" sites are looking for casual sex. For me, I was already in a place in my life where all the casual sex wasn't working for me. Finding out I had herpes just put a big exclamation point on that for me. I'm hoping to replace my "whoring days" with something a lot better.

Good Luck Lavendered!!!

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RealisticGal

I am so happy to hear this, Lavendered. It seems like only a couple of days ago when you were in the depressed and "feeling very ashamed about all this" state, and being able to give the talk seemed a long way off for you.

What a super result!!! :rolleyes:

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    • viralfrog
      Having HSV-2 has not bothered me at all for casual sex. I'm just avoiding sex during outbreaks, on suppressive therapy and using condoms every time with casual partners. Since my outbreaks appear on top of my penis, even during an outbreak the risk is minimal if I put a condom on as soon as I take my underwear off.  I guess it might be a slightly different case for a girl as if you have external lesions around your groin you could still infect someone even using a condom. And of course, condoms can break, which has happened to me over 10 times and caused myself to get infected in the first place.  I see it as a much more difficult now having a serious relationship, because I can't feel much with a condom on and really want stop using them. However, I don't want to put my new girlfriend to any risk - I would feel terrible if I infected her. 
    • viralfrog
      Does anyone have experience about people's reactions to Herpes in Asia? Personally I live in Thailand where I also caught the virus as a condom broke 4 years ago.  Unfortunately I infected my ex-girlfriend with HSV-2. This was just after I had caught the virus myself and we had sex before I noticed and realised what it was. In the beginning, a local doctor told me I have just hurt my foreskin with my jeans' zipper and the tests came as negative. After getting tested later it came as positive.  Anyways, my ex-gf (well educated, professional, 26 years old then) she had no idea what Herpes was in the first place. She didn't really care too much about it and didn't bother to get tested. During our 3 year relationship we kept having unprotected sex as usual and she never had any issues until at the end one day. She had a very minor outbreak once and nothing after that (lucky her, no like myself who gets terrible symptoms non-stop). I know she has a strong immune system, because she was never sick despite myself having bad colds quite often. In any case, she could not care less about this virus and didn't mind at all.

      I've seen a lot of hysteria surrounding Herpes in Europe and the US. What has been your experience in South-East Asian countries like Thailand? Do people perceive HSV-2 as a worrying disease? 
    • Burty
      The full article is behind a paywall but you could write the the authors and request a copy.
    • OFMDH
      The jury is still out as there needs to be additional experiments. Editas' results make me believe dosing was insufficient among other issues.
    • moialbalushi
      Wow interesting !! But how did they provide it to him !! I mean he is 27 years old !!
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