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mmb347

HELP!!!!!!!!!! Its My First Date EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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mmb347

Well it seems I have a date, my first in.....in ever! At the age 21 and I don't know what to do!! I got to admit that I'm freaking just a little, but I'm also a little excited. I wanted to ask if you guys have any tips about what I should do, to impress my date? What are some do's and don't's I want this to go well. My date's in two weeks, plenty of time to prepare for this, right?? Any advice would be helpful.

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RealisticGal

Don't try to impress

The best way to "impress" is to relax.

Be you, and do NOT try to impress. If you try to impress, you will come across as fake and trying too hard.

Dating is supposed to be about having fun. So go into it with the idea of having fun and getting to know this person a little bit.

If you are confident about who you are, if you love yourself, you will leave a good --- and TRUE --- impression of the REAL you.

And that is what it is all about!

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mmb347
The best way to "impress" is to relax.

Be you, and do NOT try to impress. If you try to impress, you will come across as fake and trying too hard.

Dating is supposed to be about having fun. So go into it with the idea of having fun and getting to know this person a little bit.

If you are confident about who you are, if you love yourself, you will leave a good --- and TRUE --- impression of the REAL you.

And that is what it is all about!

Thanks that helps alot, I think I can definitely relax enough to do that. ^_^

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solvingtheproblem

RG is spot on

Congrats on your date! :-) I have dated a LOT, and so have been at all points on the dating enthusiasm spectrum. I would say RG's advice is spot-on: try to relax as much as you can, and just talk to him like you would someone you meet in line at Starbuck's.

Personally, I think the word "date" can be an emotionally loaded one. I try now to just think of it as getting to know someone new. Every person has something interesting about them, something they're passionate about - if you can be honestly curious about discovering what that is, then a good, pleasurable conversation usually follows.

One other thing to keep in mind: the conversation should go both ways. He should be honestly curious about you, and what you're passionate about. If you don't feel that, take notice. This can disguise itself as it being a one-way conversation all about him, or you having to carry the conversation and essentially talk to yourself. Communication should be a two-way street!

Do you know this guy at all? Has he asked you out for a particular event?

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QDogg

mmb whats up. ok heres my tips. first of all you can't go into it with the mind frame of trying to "impress" him. this will make you look needy which is unattractive to everyone. go in with a confident, high energy frame, like your the prize. wear something cute, smile, and just follow his lead. hopefully he's a fun guy and knows what he's doing.

have fun!! :D

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gotitsowhat

Good advice here

so I will just add one thing; remember that HE has to impress YOU, too! And everyone's right. Forget about the "date" aspect and just have fun and get to know the guy.

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mmb347
Do you know this guy at all? Has he asked you out for a particular event?

Well we've talked a few times, but we kinda of met when we both went to the same college. So we were walking around last night, talking; playing the question game. I'm asking questions, he asking questions and then we walked back to my apt and sat in the stairway talking. Then he asked me on a date once he returned from his trip in ohio. I said yes and asked him why, and he honestly answered with an "I don't know, I wanted to."

Then he went on to say that he hasn't date in a while, and told him that I had a confession to make. "I've never been on a date."

He smiled and said, "Well I will make sure it will be perfect then."

And that's basically it.

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RealisticGal

I think it's very nice that you are going on a real live, honest to goodness date --- FINALLY!

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RealisticGal

Oh, and one more thing --- keep in mind that the fella is also probably going to be feeling pretty nervous himself. Especially now that you have confessed you have never been on a date, he has taken on that pressure to make it "perfect."

But you know what? We humans hardly ever have perfect stuff happen to us.

So again, just try to go with the flow. Be able to laugh if something stupid happens --- like a waiter trips and spills water or you slurp spaghetti and sauce lands on your blouse (Tip: DO NOT order spaghetti!) or the movie you go to ends up being the worst movie of all time.

It's all about building memories. The silly things that happen can be fun memories right along with the "perfect" stuff.

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solvingtheproblem

Awww...

That is a really sweet story!

Well, here's some good news: you've kinda already *had* your first date! :victorydance: Walking around, talking, asking questions...those are all the basic elements of a casual date. It sounds like you two have enough chemistry to make chatting easy, and enough chem-is-try to make things interesting. :lotsofluv:

He sounds like a sweet guy, who is going to really try to make this a great experience. I would suggest that you just be receptive and appreciative of his efforts, whether they are a hit or a miss. In my book, it's the effort and thought that counts -- not the amount of money, or how "big" an effort. RG is right -- go with the flow, and just enjoy yourself. And some of that silly stuff is waaay better than anything anyone could have planned!

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mmb347
That is a really sweet story!

Well, here's some good news: you've kinda already *had* your first date! :victorydance: Walking around, talking, asking questions...those are all the basic elements of a casual date. It sounds like you two have enough chemistry to make chatting easy, and enough chem-is-try to make things interesting. :lotsofluv:

He sounds like a sweet guy, who is going to really try to make this a great experience. I would suggest that you just be receptive and appreciative of his efforts, whether they are a hit or a miss. In my book, it's the effort and thought that counts -- not the amount of money, or how "big" an effort. RG is right -- go with the flow, and just enjoy yourself. And some of that silly stuff is waaay better than anything anyone could have planned!

I hope so anyway, he is a really sweet guy. We like some things and we disagree on other stuff, but he's really nice and so cute. He's a real gentleman and he and I defintely laugh at goofy stuff that we do. Ok go with the flow and do not order spaghetti lol

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RealisticGal
I hope so anyway, he is a really sweet guy. We like some things and we disagree on other stuff, but he's really nice and so cute. He's a real gentleman and he and I defintely laugh at goofy stuff that we do. Ok go with the flow and do not order spaghetti lol

And most of all, have fun!!! :proud:

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MissHope

Hey mmb,

Congrats on the date.... how exciting for you!

I too get pretty nervous about dating, even though I've been on my fair share of them, so I know how you are feeling.

I ended up buying the book 'It's just a date', written by the same folk that wrote ''He's just not that into you" and I actually found it to be a good read (even though I hated their first book!). Its written in a very humourous way, with input from both guys and girls.... with do's and don'ts and even some exercises. Sure it's cheesy but it raised some good points and was an easy read. If you can be bothered to read it, try and get your hands on a copy.

But everyone here has given you some great advice so I'm sure you will be just fine. Make sure you come back and let us know how it all goes! We'll be sending good vibes your way!

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mmb347

Thanks MissHope, that certainly does help and your advice is definitely appreciated. I think I might have to check out that book, if it's as good as you say. And thanks for the good thoughts, I will definitely tell you guys how it went. ^_^ I'm so exicted!

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GntiNh

You do realise we are all going on your date with you (in spirit) lol. Poor man having to be vetted by all of us , now that would be scary :p

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mmb347

That is very comforting to me, so that's good news to me ^_^ lol

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mmb347

New update!!!!!!

Ok so he's picked out the place, that we're going to dine. He's decided to take me to a little italian place in chicago; Martino's. I'm so excited, and he even asked if he could hang out with me and our friend amy tonight before he left to go out of town to Ohio. Imagine that!! And once he got here he showed me the place, its so pretty. Ok and the dress code is less-than-formal casual. My friend amy is taking me to go look for outfits tuesday, and I can not wait!!! The more I hang out with him, the more I begin to like and appreciate him for who and what he is. Kris is really something that I've never experienced before.

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solvingtheproblem

aw, that is so sweet

Wow, this is really turning into a great story! Yeah, poor guy -- little does he know that he has a bit of a fan club here! DON'T TELL HIM! ;-) haha

He does sound like a really sweet guy...enjoy this moment. Sometimes, the anticipation of a fun night out can be just as wonderful as the evening itself! Have a great time picking out something special to wear! It certainly doesn't hurt to have a few "go to" date outfits in your closet...as this will be the first of many dates in your life! ;-)

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mmb347
Wow, this is really turning into a great story! Yeah, poor guy -- little does he know that he has a bit of a fan club here! DON'T TELL HIM! ;-) haha

He does sound like a really sweet guy...enjoy this moment. Sometimes, the anticipation of a fun night out can be just as wonderful as the evening itself! Have a great time picking out something special to wear! It certainly doesn't hurt to have a few "go to" date outfits in your closet...as this will be the first of many dates in your life! ;-)

lol No he won't find out about you guys until it comes time to reveal the whole herpes thing. But I'm trying not to panic or think about that too much. I'm just living in the moment and when it comes up, it'll come up and that will be that. But thanks I'm really grateful to all the positive thoughts, Friday is going to be a really fun night, weather its good or bad- I'm going to have the time of my life. :D

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mmb347

Today's the day!!

Oh guys, it's the big day and I can't wait, hope I don't too nervous. Hope I'm not getting my hopes too high. Wish me luck everyone!

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Shayna

Best of luck!! Have fun and don't get nervous..let him do that. ;)

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RealisticGal

Yeah, remember it's just supposed to be fun and getting to know someone else a little bit better. Don't be concerned with hopes at this point. It's just a date. :rolleyes:

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mmb347

The Date

It was beyond great! I can't believe we spent so much time talking and laughing. He was beyond awesome, a perfect gentleman in today's world and he was so idk he was just awesome. We talked about our families, movies, everything! When he first came and picked me up I told him how nervous I was and he admitted he was too, and then after that I stopped being nervous. He admitted to me that he has a little road-rage and I laughed and confessed that I'm that way too. So whenever the people in Schaumburg and Chicago did some stupid we both were cracking jokes on them and calling them all kinds of names. We were so comfortable with each other, he told me several times that he really wanted to do this again and I agreed. I think I can really start to like him, I really do. ^_^

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