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californialove88

been 4 years and still down

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californialove88

hey everyone well this is the first time ive tried something like this,and i guess u would call blog about me having herpes openly.i havent really talked much about only to my cousin who i tell everything to,but i want to be able to start living my life again the way i used to.hopefully this helps

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RealisticGal

Come on in, the water's fine.

{{{{{{Hugs to you}}}}}}

:wavey:

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gotitsowhat

Glad you got here

Sorry about the hsv infection. None of us like having that!

Now, about those 4 years.....Don't make it 10! I spent 10 lonely years imprisoned by herpes, afraid to tell anyone, even close friends, afraid to try and date or even socialize. Eventually, I got a serious illness, something that made herpes seem very small and unimportant (it was a pancreatic blockage). I spent many weeks in the hospital and it gave me time to think about how minor a condition herpes really is for so many of us. I decided that even if guys reject me over this, I would refuse to live my life in the herpes closet. After I got out of the hospital, I told all of my friends about my hsv infection. And they were wonderful and very supportive about it. And now I have dated and I do mot find hsv such a barrier anymore. I have experienced some rejection (they guy was kind and polite about it), and some acceptance (the guy was interested in getting it on, didn't care, used a condom). I have found that hsv doesn't need to keep me in a closet of fear and embarrassment.

This is a great place to find encouraging words and good advice. Hope to see you here in the future.

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californialove88

Thanks...so far so good im glad that i can get my thoughts and feelings out

:)

First im sorry u had to go through something like that and be in the hospital for that long.I know it will have to come out eventually,and i have been thinking about telling my step-mom and possibly my dad but I dont want them to look at me as if iam some type of person who didnt think things all the way through,or irresponsible.I mean i have only told a couple people[my cousin and a friend of mine who has herpes as well]but my cousin she cant understand what im going through because she doest have it and she just thinks everything will be great and back to how things were but i cant,i have to be extra cautious and careful about who i talk to and be extra careful with my emotions and all that jazz.And with my friend ive known her since high school and she knows where im coming from but im scared to tell her things sometimes because she still talks to people that we went to high school with[more then me]and worried she might spill the beans to everyone i know since we have the same friends,idk its just one big confusing cycle lol..but yea i guess im still looking[patiently]for that one guy that can be understanding and yet still have that connection with and eventually have a future with.

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RealisticGal

Really, the thing is, this is your own personal, private medical information. While you can share it if you want to, and it could be helpful to have some trusted confidantes to talk with, you do not need to tell anyone unless you so choose.

I believe you absolutely should tell any potential intimate partners.

And in the case of medical personnel, it makes sense to tell some (depending on their involvement with your care).

But anyone besides that? No need unless you want to and really trust them.

Depending on your relationship with parental units, that's just something that may not be needed. I'm pretty close to my parents, especially my mother. But I don't discuss my intimate life with them very much because...eeeeeew. :rolleyes:

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Hawker12

You will find the right guy someday. If he rejects you for HSV-2, he probably wasn't worth it. I just found out my lady has HSV-2. Unfortunately, I learned of this after a year of being sexually active with her. I was pissed off that she didn't reveal this right off the bat. I guess after I saw how embarrassed she was... I was still irritated but I understood. I never let her know I was mad or that I'm still freaking out.

Wait for the intimacy, be sure he is aware so he can make an informed decision. I found out a little over a week ago. I am scrambling to find out information. Good LUCK!

Cheers!

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RealisticGal
You will find the right guy someday. If he rejects you for HSV-2, he probably wasn't worth it. I just found out my lady has HSV-2. Unfortunately, I learned of this after a year of being sexually active with her. I was pissed off that she didn't reveal this right off the bat. I guess after I saw how embarrassed she was... I was still irritated but I understood. I never let her know I was mad or that I'm still freaking out.

Wait for the intimacy, be sure he is aware so he can make an informed decision. I found out a little over a week ago. I am scrambling to find out information. Good LUCK!

You have come to a great place to educate yourself, Hawker. This is the best site I found when my friend told me he had it.

I was lucky, he told me before we became intimate --- so I could make my own choice. You are pretty special for not acting mad with your gal about that. Good for you! If you have questions, ask away here.

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Hawker12

I have a tone of questions. I just made another post under relationships post...well, maybe its more of a dissertation. If you get an extra...4 hours maybe you can answer a few questions for me. I only hope I can be as supportive as you! I have so much respect for you.

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californialove88

Thanks for the luck.Im hoping things work out for the best with the partner Im dating now,I dont know how to go about telling him.We have dated on and off for a few years now and i just dont know how to tell him.I go through all the scenarios but i still cant think of anything.Knowing him he would probably be suuper mad just as you reacted to your lady but I dont think he would be as understanding as you are,and thats what im scared of not that i would not be in a relationship with him but that we wont even be friends after i tell him.

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Hawker12

You can play out all of the scenarios you want in your head. There will never be an easy time to tell your partner. When my lady told me I could see the humiliation in her eyes. I was amazed at how courageous she was. It takes a larger than life type of person to admit HSV-2 to your partner. I was pissed but I was more amazed that she told me. She was surprised at my reaction (she never knew I was angry and I don't intend on telling her).

You may be pleasantly surprised at his reaction. If he is so inconsiderate he doesn't want to be your friend then maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship. Surround yourself with people who will love and support you unconditionally.

He will be angry. He may yell, rant and rave but he will get over it just as I did. When you do (and you should) tell him. Have answers with you; web Sites, pamphlets with explanations. Places he can turn to for answers. It will take some time but it will be okay.

Cheers!

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