Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
californialove88

been 4 years and still down

Recommended Posts

californialove88

hey everyone well this is the first time ive tried something like this,and i guess u would call blog about me having herpes openly.i havent really talked much about only to my cousin who i tell everything to,but i want to be able to start living my life again the way i used to.hopefully this helps

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
gotitsowhat

Glad you got here

Sorry about the hsv infection. None of us like having that!

Now, about those 4 years.....Don't make it 10! I spent 10 lonely years imprisoned by herpes, afraid to tell anyone, even close friends, afraid to try and date or even socialize. Eventually, I got a serious illness, something that made herpes seem very small and unimportant (it was a pancreatic blockage). I spent many weeks in the hospital and it gave me time to think about how minor a condition herpes really is for so many of us. I decided that even if guys reject me over this, I would refuse to live my life in the herpes closet. After I got out of the hospital, I told all of my friends about my hsv infection. And they were wonderful and very supportive about it. And now I have dated and I do mot find hsv such a barrier anymore. I have experienced some rejection (they guy was kind and polite about it), and some acceptance (the guy was interested in getting it on, didn't care, used a condom). I have found that hsv doesn't need to keep me in a closet of fear and embarrassment.

This is a great place to find encouraging words and good advice. Hope to see you here in the future.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
californialove88

Thanks...so far so good im glad that i can get my thoughts and feelings out

:)

First im sorry u had to go through something like that and be in the hospital for that long.I know it will have to come out eventually,and i have been thinking about telling my step-mom and possibly my dad but I dont want them to look at me as if iam some type of person who didnt think things all the way through,or irresponsible.I mean i have only told a couple people[my cousin and a friend of mine who has herpes as well]but my cousin she cant understand what im going through because she doest have it and she just thinks everything will be great and back to how things were but i cant,i have to be extra cautious and careful about who i talk to and be extra careful with my emotions and all that jazz.And with my friend ive known her since high school and she knows where im coming from but im scared to tell her things sometimes because she still talks to people that we went to high school with[more then me]and worried she might spill the beans to everyone i know since we have the same friends,idk its just one big confusing cycle lol..but yea i guess im still looking[patiently]for that one guy that can be understanding and yet still have that connection with and eventually have a future with.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RealisticGal

Really, the thing is, this is your own personal, private medical information. While you can share it if you want to, and it could be helpful to have some trusted confidantes to talk with, you do not need to tell anyone unless you so choose.

I believe you absolutely should tell any potential intimate partners.

And in the case of medical personnel, it makes sense to tell some (depending on their involvement with your care).

But anyone besides that? No need unless you want to and really trust them.

Depending on your relationship with parental units, that's just something that may not be needed. I'm pretty close to my parents, especially my mother. But I don't discuss my intimate life with them very much because...eeeeeew. :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hawker12

You will find the right guy someday. If he rejects you for HSV-2, he probably wasn't worth it. I just found out my lady has HSV-2. Unfortunately, I learned of this after a year of being sexually active with her. I was pissed off that she didn't reveal this right off the bat. I guess after I saw how embarrassed she was... I was still irritated but I understood. I never let her know I was mad or that I'm still freaking out.

Wait for the intimacy, be sure he is aware so he can make an informed decision. I found out a little over a week ago. I am scrambling to find out information. Good LUCK!

Cheers!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RealisticGal
You will find the right guy someday. If he rejects you for HSV-2, he probably wasn't worth it. I just found out my lady has HSV-2. Unfortunately, I learned of this after a year of being sexually active with her. I was pissed off that she didn't reveal this right off the bat. I guess after I saw how embarrassed she was... I was still irritated but I understood. I never let her know I was mad or that I'm still freaking out.

Wait for the intimacy, be sure he is aware so he can make an informed decision. I found out a little over a week ago. I am scrambling to find out information. Good LUCK!

You have come to a great place to educate yourself, Hawker. This is the best site I found when my friend told me he had it.

I was lucky, he told me before we became intimate --- so I could make my own choice. You are pretty special for not acting mad with your gal about that. Good for you! If you have questions, ask away here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hawker12

I have a tone of questions. I just made another post under relationships post...well, maybe its more of a dissertation. If you get an extra...4 hours maybe you can answer a few questions for me. I only hope I can be as supportive as you! I have so much respect for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
californialove88

Thanks for the luck.Im hoping things work out for the best with the partner Im dating now,I dont know how to go about telling him.We have dated on and off for a few years now and i just dont know how to tell him.I go through all the scenarios but i still cant think of anything.Knowing him he would probably be suuper mad just as you reacted to your lady but I dont think he would be as understanding as you are,and thats what im scared of not that i would not be in a relationship with him but that we wont even be friends after i tell him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hawker12

You can play out all of the scenarios you want in your head. There will never be an easy time to tell your partner. When my lady told me I could see the humiliation in her eyes. I was amazed at how courageous she was. It takes a larger than life type of person to admit HSV-2 to your partner. I was pissed but I was more amazed that she told me. She was surprised at my reaction (she never knew I was angry and I don't intend on telling her).

You may be pleasantly surprised at his reaction. If he is so inconsiderate he doesn't want to be your friend then maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship. Surround yourself with people who will love and support you unconditionally.

He will be angry. He may yell, rant and rave but he will get over it just as I did. When you do (and you should) tell him. Have answers with you; web Sites, pamphlets with explanations. Places he can turn to for answers. It will take some time but it will be okay.

Cheers!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,761
    • Total Posts
      470,458
  • Posts

    • TerribleAtUserNames
      Oh, sorry, I think the catchy title I used was very misleading. And I didn't intend that. I put 'miracle cure' as air quotes because I don't actually think I've discovered a true cure. I mean, I still can get outbreaks, the virus is obviously still there. I like to at least think I'm not that arrogant or naive. 🙄 I had not definitively said anything for a couple reasons, including that I don't prefer making overly definitive statements to things I don't know.  And I was more talking with regard to what you were saying in your second paragraph in your most recent reply, whether tissue absorption had any additional effect to simple topical application. So, hopefully that's cleared up. But it is effectively a functional cure for me. In so far as I've gone from permanent outbreaks to one maybe every... 8ish months? I barely remember I have it.  And the point is that the virus has really impacted some people's lives. To the point where they take crazy--high risk--'treatments' or think about self harm. And if some other people can get the relief I've gotten from something so stupidly simple, I want them to be able to have that too. Especially given that the risk-reward ratio is--in my opinion at least--very favourable. I mean, its like literally 20-30 seconds of isopropyl alcohol a day. If it doesn't do jack for you in two weeks, move on--y'know? But I assume if it acts a particular way for me, it will likely act that way for at least someone else. And that could really change someone's life... Like it did mine.  Cheers, 
    • Cas9
      @TerribleAtUserNames OK, you need to understand the science. Alcohol does not seep into a nerve cell and kill the latent virus; That's a scientific fact. So you don't need to worry about checking. All the alcohol does is kill the virus on the skin surface. Whether it gets a little deeper in the skin layers and kills virus better than soap and water, I can't say for sure. Obviously, popping a blister and using alcohol will have a more drying effect than soap and water. The bottom line is that killing a herpes virus is easy when it's outside the nerve cell. Killing it in a nerve cell is difficult because anything that gets into the cell and kills the virus (breaking up it's dna), must not also damage the cell's dna. You need a smart bomb to do that. That's what gene editing is. It is programmed to have the ability to cut out dna segments specific to the virus without touching the cells dna. You have this image of the cell as a container and the alcohol just pours into it and kills the virus. If that was the case, it would destroy the cell's dna also. Cells are living things that have receptors on their cellular surface. Anything that gets into that cell, must have the protein that matches with one of the cell's receptors (like a key to a lock), which in turn causes the cell to let the substance enter. That's one method of how something gets in a cell. Do you honestly think that in all the decades that great scientific minds have tried to tackle this problem, that they simply missed your alcohol cure? C'mon man!!!      
    • dont quit!17
      That would be nice to have as an option. 
    • dont quit!17
      The momentum slowed down, when that forum member asked for a timeline. That is the last thing we should be asking. That's pretty frustrating. 
    • TerribleAtUserNames
      Hey everyone, thanks for responding! So you know, I updated the original post with negative effects I've experienced with alcohol as treatment, so feel free to check that out if you're curious.  Now, to what you guys were saying...    MaxTX: I actually use alcohol as my disinfectant of choice for most wounds. And sutiability seems to vary based on the type of alcohol used (says the internet). That being said, you are right apparently--but this isn't about the best wound treatment method. Its about stopping outbreaks. Regardless, I suspect the deleterious effects are fairly minor if you're trying to disinfect most wounds, but that's totally my personal opinion.  None the less, I'd suggest giving it a shot for outbreak prevention. It certainly works for me, hopefully it will for you too. And compared to taking an experimental vaccine or something like that, wouldn't this be easy and super low risk to try? Also if you google 'herpes' and 'alcohol' you can find a number of hits suggesting its use as a disinfectant for the sores.   Tired of Waiting: I'm sorry, it was a long time ago that I read her talking about it. But from what I remember, she was talking about wiping down there with alcohol, and how it helped with her outbreaks. I remember her also saying it burned like a mofo at first, but eventually became kinda second nature. I don't know what type of alcohol she used, sorry. Again, if you're concerned, maybe ask your doctor about safety? Like I said, isopropyl has worked well for me. I actually do use it before sex for that reason, back when I was having sex that is. Across 3 partners used with, no known infections--but given that I have hsv 1, and like 50-60% of the population is infected already, but only 10% present with symptoms, that could mean nothing. Unfortunately, I'm not a doctor, and certainly not one that has researched this scientifically, so I can't give you a firm answer for transmission prevention during sex. Personally, I'm confident in at least isopropyl alcohol's herpes killing abilities, even if just topically. For better or worse, real or imagined (but I suspect real), I let myself relax a lot more when using it before sex.  And then again after sex, for my own sake, hahaha, as I'm not overly keen on risking anything else. However, even this is something to consult a doctor about--I feel like there is conflicting information on whether it can be helpful post coitus, or whether it can actually increase the risk of getting an sti vs. simply washing. Imo, do some research and ask a physician to confirm or deny what you've learned.   Cas9: Soap and water never worked anywhere close to as well for me. Soap and water still meant permanent outbreak. So I suspect the alcohol is doing much more. I should clarify though, that I do actually dilligently use soap and water as well--the whole regular bathing thing 😁 I know you suggested to Tired of Waiting that it wouldn't affect outbreak frequency or the latent virus. I can't obviously check my own latent virus levels, but yes I can still get outbreaks if I stop using the alcohol. However I can, indeed, use it as a prophylactic for outbreaks, and it does prevent me from getting them the vast majority of the time. Perhaps because that kind of tissue is more absorbent or something? Or perhaps when topically applied the alcohol is significantly more potent and herpes unfriendly--which I believe really is also the case from what I've read. I know though that I can't discontinue alcohol treatment for more than 6ish days (my limit so far) without flaring up again. And with twice daily showers, that would strongly imply that soap and water is really not helping the same way.  Cheers, guys! 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.