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MadNMidwest

In Total Shock

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MadNMidwest

I just found out I was HSV-2 positive about two hours ago. It still hasn't quite registered in my head, but I'm really angry. I'm 100% sure I know who I contracted it from (back in 1992-93). I've been asymptomatic the entire time. The only reason I even got tested is because I wanted to start a physical relationship with someone and thought it would be a good idea in this day in age. Now I don't even know whether I can look him in the eye. How am I supposed to tell him something like this? I can't be intimate with him. And what about the two men I've slept with since the guy I dated back then? One I used protection with every time. The other I didn't, because we were together for six years. We were wanting to get married and have kids. I'm just SOOOO mad.

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Amalia

Hello and welcome to the site.

There is lots of information here as well as good support from members. After making two posts, you can join live chat.

How do you know that you got it from the guy in '92? What kind of test did they do?

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MadNMidwest
Hello and welcome to the site.

There is lots of information here as well as good support from members. After making two posts, you can join live chat.

How do you know that you got it from the guy in '92? What kine of test did they do?

Hi Amelia. It was a Rapid HSV test. I should have know it was "bad" news when I had to wait twice as long to speak with a nurse.

I know it was that particular ex-boyfriend for a couple of reasons. I've only had a few lovers my entire life. I've used protection about 90% of the time, because I was afraid of getting pregnant before I was ready. When I was with him I had problems with yeast infections, which I bet my OBGyn misdiagnosed (she didn't test me). Additionally, I remember him having little bumps on his penis one time. When I asked about them, he said that his cat had been sleeping in his bed and they must be flea bites. At the time it seemed plausible, but hindsight is always....

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LOVE4

I am so sorry to hear that hun! Everything is going to be ok. You will find someone that loves you for who you are. I know you will be ok. I am in the same boat you are. I am trying to have faith and believe that someone is going to love me regardless of this stupid disease.

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steph27

I too am newly diagnosed and having a hard time dealing with this. I keep trying to tell myself that 1 in 6 people (this number various on different sites) have the herpes virus. I have always thought this type of thing happened to people who slept around and I have been in two monogamous relationships and been with a total of 4 people in my life. I am now realizing that anyone who has sex (with or without a condom) is at risk. I think, if I had waited til marriage would this still have happened to me??? Keep your head up! You will find someone who loves you for who you are and if they are herpes free, I have read that suppressive therapy reduces transmission to uninfected partners! Also, I am crossing my fingers that one day they can find a way to eliminate breakouts and also vaccinate herpes free individuals to decrease the likelihood of having to deal with the physical and emotional pain. :flowers:

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MadNMidwest

Thanks you guys!

I cannot tell you all how much your kind words have helped. The past 24 hours have been difficult. I guess it really doesn't matter how I got this. I'm stuck with it now. I just feel nauseous. The thought of having to deal with this for the rest of my life just makes me sick...and really scared. I would almost rather just date people with HSV-2. But I can't even wrap my head around dating anyone again...or being intimate with them. I stared in the mirror this morning and half expected to see a scarlet letter on my chest. Isn't that crazy? Guess I need counseling. lol :rolleyes:

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broccoliman

All your feelings are very normal Mad. We've all experienced anger, shame, depression, reluctance to get involved with new people. It adds a layer of complication when things can already be challenging. Go for some counseling if you need to. Nothing wrong with talking those feelings through with someone. Or people here.

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MissHope
I cannot tell you all how much your kind words have helped. The past 24 hours have been difficult. I guess it really doesn't matter how I got this. I'm stuck with it now. I just feel nauseous. The thought of having to deal with this for the rest of my life just makes me sick...and really scared. I would almost rather just date people with HSV-2. But I can't even wrap my head around dating anyone again...or being intimate with them. I stared in the mirror this morning and half expected to see a scarlet letter on my chest. Isn't that crazy? Guess I need counseling. lol :rolleyes:

Mad, I felt the same way when diagnosed... I felt like I had a big 'HERPES' tattooed on my forehead. It was the first thought in my head in the morning and the last at night. I can tell you that things do get better..... they really do.

I tried all the avenues of help I could find - I had a session with a counsellor at my local sex health clinic who was a godsend. I also attended a support group which was a really nice experience and I made a great friend out of that meeting. Plus this site and talking with friends helped. I actually found out that several of them carry the virus, or their partner's do or they had dated people with it.

I'm going on holiday next week - there will be 5 of us girls there and of those 5, 4 of us have herpes!!!! Of those 4 of us, 2 are married with children (one has never passed it to her husband and 1 has ocular herpes whilst her husband has genital and they have never caught the other type), I have a non h partner that I met post diagnosis and was accepting, we are all professional, intelligent and good fun..... so herpes doesn't discriminate!

Take some time out to process things, but then realise that even with this virus, you are still a wonderful woman with many things to offer a partner. Remember you are still the same person you were, you just have a little extra carry on baggage is all. If you remain confident and proud of what you can share with a significant other, then I'm sure you will find someone that just can't live without you!

There are better days ahead. I promise you.

Chin up.

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MadNMidwest
Mad, I felt the same way when diagnosed... I felt like I had a big 'HERPES' tattooed on my forehead. It was the first thought in my head in the morning and the last at night. I can tell you that things do get better..... they really do.

Thank you, MissHope. Your message couldn't have come at a better time. Today has been difficult. I guess this was just the proverbial straw... I lost my job last November and with a Master's degree in Communications it's been tough. But I still have faith and know that somehow/some way it's going to get better. I'm going to a support group meeting this week, so hopefully that will give me a better grasp on the situation. Again, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Today. Your were my Godsend.

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MadNMidwest
Mad, I felt the same way when diagnosed... I felt like I had a big 'HERPES' tattooed on my forehead. It was the first thought in my head in the morning and the last at night. I can tell you that things do get better..... they really do.

Thank you, MissHope. Your message couldn't have come at a better time. Today has been difficult. I guess this was just the proverbial straw... I lost my job last November and with a Master's degree in Communications it's been tough. But I still have faith and know that somehow/some way it's going to get better. I'm going to a support group meeting this week, so hopefully that will give me a better grasp on the situation. Again, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Today. You were my Godsend.

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fallenbutterfly2003

I know how you feel right now I truely do. I got diagnosed in November last year so Im coming up on my "one year anniversay". I contracted it when my daughters dad and I broke up and since we have gotten back together. I had the "talk" 3 times before I had to eventually have it with him. and ALL the ppl I told said same thing "thats not that big of a deal" and "its just an annoying virus". After getting obs at least one a month I recently started taking suppresives and havent had any obs.

It might seem like the end of your dating life right now, but trust me it isnt. We have ALL had to deal with the initial shock,anger,and for me personal disgust with myself, but i promise you, it does get better and one day, maybe not for months but you wont think of it every second or even everyday anymore. It is a very managable virus and just be thankful that is what you got and not something worse. Good luck and "this too shall pass"

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MadNMidwest
Good luck and "this too shall pass"

Thanks, Fallenbutterfly2003. I cannot begin to tell you how helpful and reassuring everyone has been. I'm really dreading "having the talk" with some one. But the whole reason I got tested, was because I wanted to start a physical relationship with a really special guy. I'm going to have to tell him at some point...pretty soon. Avoiding him is probably kind of juvenile. Maybe after the support group meeting in a few days.

Anyway, thanks again. :wavey:

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