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A bit distraught.

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I have had herpes since I was 14. The guy that gave them to me was my first boyfriend. And we had only had sex once ever. When we had sex is when i lost my virginity. Honestly I was scared to have sex with him. He was 17 when I was 14. Which now looking back seems completely wrong. back then I thought I was sort of a rebel. And did everything my parents didn't want for me. About 2 months later I found out I had herpes. It was awful. I had no idea what it was. I was in so much pain. My parents took me to the hospital and found out i had sex. Which that alone went over badly. Well I am 18 now. And about to start college. I had had a crazy night and my boyfriend and I conceived a child. I found out today I am pregnant. It was such a shocker. Well me and my boyfriend have only been together for about 5 months. And i havent had the balls to tell him I have herpes. I havent had an out break in a few years but i am afriad he will flip out and leave me. I know I need to tell him bvut im scared. I really need him now more than ever.

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Well, darlin', it seems to me that at some point you're going to have to hitch up your courage, sit him down, start talkin, and take your lumps. The other alternative (and this is underhanded and dishonest, but if that's the only way you can tell him...) is to wait about a week, then him when you went for your pregnancy exam, the dr noticed this 'mark" and had it tested and (OMG!!!) he said you have herpes. Then explain about the old boyfriend, and how you must have gotten it from him, and advise your current bf to go get tested. This is not the solution I recommend.

However, let me clue you in on one very important thing to consider. Relationships built on deception rarely survive, nor should they. You're a big girl, a future parent, and (hopefully) a responsible adult. It's time to start acting the part, and taking responsibilty for your mistakes is part of the package. You made a mistake. We all do. The question is, what are you willing to do to make it right? That's what separates the real grown-ups from the wannabes.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

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    • viralfrog
      Having HSV-2 has not bothered me at all for casual sex. I'm just avoiding sex during outbreaks, on suppressive therapy and using condoms every time with casual partners. Since my outbreaks appear on top of my penis, even during an outbreak the risk is minimal if I put a condom on as soon as I take my underwear off.  I guess it might be a slightly different case for a girl as if you have external lesions around your groin you could still infect someone even using a condom. And of course, condoms can break, which has happened to me over 10 times and caused myself to get infected in the first place.  I see it as a much more difficult now having a serious relationship, because I can't feel much with a condom on and really want stop using them. However, I don't want to put my new girlfriend to any risk - I would feel terrible if I infected her. 
    • viralfrog
      Does anyone have experience about people's reactions to Herpes in Asia? Personally I live in Thailand where I also caught the virus as a condom broke 4 years ago.  Unfortunately I infected my ex-girlfriend with HSV-2. This was just after I had caught the virus myself and we had sex before I noticed and realised what it was. In the beginning, a local doctor told me I have just hurt my foreskin with my jeans' zipper and the tests came as negative. After getting tested later it came as positive.  Anyways, my ex-gf (well educated, professional, 26 years old then) she had no idea what Herpes was in the first place. She didn't really care too much about it and didn't bother to get tested. During our 3 year relationship we kept having unprotected sex as usual and she never had any issues until at the end one day. She had a very minor outbreak once and nothing after that (lucky her, no like myself who gets terrible symptoms non-stop). I know she has a strong immune system, because she was never sick despite myself having bad colds quite often. In any case, she could not care less about this virus and didn't mind at all.

      I've seen a lot of hysteria surrounding Herpes in Europe and the US. What has been your experience in South-East Asian countries like Thailand? Do people perceive HSV-2 as a worrying disease? 
    • Burty
      The full article is behind a paywall but you could write the the authors and request a copy.
    • OFMDH
      The jury is still out as there needs to be additional experiments. Editas' results make me believe dosing was insufficient among other issues.
    • moialbalushi
      Wow interesting !! But how did they provide it to him !! I mean he is 27 years old !!

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