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A bit distraught.

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I have had herpes since I was 14. The guy that gave them to me was my first boyfriend. And we had only had sex once ever. When we had sex is when i lost my virginity. Honestly I was scared to have sex with him. He was 17 when I was 14. Which now looking back seems completely wrong. back then I thought I was sort of a rebel. And did everything my parents didn't want for me. About 2 months later I found out I had herpes. It was awful. I had no idea what it was. I was in so much pain. My parents took me to the hospital and found out i had sex. Which that alone went over badly. Well I am 18 now. And about to start college. I had had a crazy night and my boyfriend and I conceived a child. I found out today I am pregnant. It was such a shocker. Well me and my boyfriend have only been together for about 5 months. And i havent had the balls to tell him I have herpes. I havent had an out break in a few years but i am afriad he will flip out and leave me. I know I need to tell him bvut im scared. I really need him now more than ever.

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Well, darlin', it seems to me that at some point you're going to have to hitch up your courage, sit him down, start talkin, and take your lumps. The other alternative (and this is underhanded and dishonest, but if that's the only way you can tell him...) is to wait about a week, then him when you went for your pregnancy exam, the dr noticed this 'mark" and had it tested and (OMG!!!) he said you have herpes. Then explain about the old boyfriend, and how you must have gotten it from him, and advise your current bf to go get tested. This is not the solution I recommend.

However, let me clue you in on one very important thing to consider. Relationships built on deception rarely survive, nor should they. You're a big girl, a future parent, and (hopefully) a responsible adult. It's time to start acting the part, and taking responsibilty for your mistakes is part of the package. You made a mistake. We all do. The question is, what are you willing to do to make it right? That's what separates the real grown-ups from the wannabes.

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