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ActingisPassion

Hello Everyone...Newly diagnosed and depressed

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ActingisPassion

Hello. Since I found out yesterday that I was diagnosed with HSV 1, I have been a wreck. I keep crying....I feel so miserable and depressed about this. I started dating someone new a few months ago and I had to tell him because I can't keep that from someone I care about. He has been supportive but obviously isn't "thrilled" about it and wants to take caution with things. He keeps telling me I am not alone and that we will get through this together..etc. But I keep telling him if he wants to walk away now, I wont hold it against him. I have "responsibility" ocd on top of this so I feel like I am one walking germ that could infect someone at any time. I am sick over this. When they called me with the results they said i was 2 points over the positive test rating. I was a .91 and anything over .89 is considered postive to them. I kepy reading all over that there is an "in btw" rating also that's not postive or negative so I went again today and had them draw blood again. I mean 2 friggen points? You kidding me? ALl the other stds were negative. I Mean God, ya couldn't give me 2 friggen points. It was too close to call and I felt I wanted to retake it. Maybe it was pointless, I dunno. But I am feeling so lost right now.

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RealisticGal

First of all, have you ever had any symptoms? Specifically, do you get sores anywhere?

Coming back positive for HSV1 on a blood test could mean you have oral herpes, which is true of about 80% of the North American population by the time they reach their teens.

What type of test did you get done?

There is currently some suggestion that the equivocal ranges for the HerpeSelect test are wrong. You might want to read this post:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/IGG-Test-Result-Confusion/show/593272

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ActingisPassion

I am not sure which test was used, just that blood was taken and they distinctively stated the HSV 2 was neg and HSV 1 was postitive by 2 points. I was reading online that .91-.99 was in the equivocal range and anything over 1.0 was postive. WHen I mentioned it to the nurse today (being I went AGAIN) she said, you can't believe everything on the internet. But I said such thing as equivalence values on a few sites! I mean 2 points over? It could be wrong right? Anyway, I am glad I went today for a second test. I should find out before the weekend. I don't know how I am going to live with myself if it comes up with a positive result.

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RealisticGal

Just one more comment...you might wish to have your current partner get tested. Chances are pretty high he will come up positive for HSV1 as well, seeing as how it is so prevalent.

It's good to know where he is as a baseline, and if he does come back positive, that makes it a lot less worrisome for the two of you.

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ActingisPassion

Well, the last time he was tested was right before he started dating me and it was negative. But now that I have this scare, we did discuss maybe he should. I am waiting for the second round of testing results. I feel hopeless at this point. I have seen pictures of oral herpes and I don't recall ever getting that before. I know when I was a kid I did get a pimple on my upper lip but I cant remember if it ever scabbed over. ANd I did have a cold at the time. The thing is, I was tested 2.5-3 yrs ago and it was negative though. SO what I am thinking of as a kid was prob just a pimple. I have never had the outbreaks on my lips that people talk about. I do get bumps down there but I asked my gyno about that once and she tested me for herpes and it was negative and my dermatologist I believe told me it was folliculitus. I really hope this test shows a negative result. BUt where do I stop and will I be convinced? WIll I keep testing myself over and over. I am such a mess.

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RealisticGal
I am not sure which test was used, just that blood was taken and they distinctively stated the HSV 2 was neg and HSV 1 was postitive by 2 points. I was reading online that .91-.99 was in the equivocal range and anything over 1.0 was postive. WHen I mentioned it to the nurse today (being I went AGAIN) she said, you can't believe everything on the internet. But I said such thing as equivalence values on a few sites! I mean 2 points over? It could be wrong right? Anyway, I am glad I went today for a second test. I should find out before the weekend. I don't know how I am going to live with myself if it comes up with a positive result.

You should read the link I sent. Sure, the nurse is right that there is bogus info online.

But I generally feel pretty confident about info that comes from research universities and the manufacturer of the tests.

Oh, and you should be able to ask and get an answer about what test you were given before.

As far as "living with yourself" if the test comes back positive? Well, start educating yourself about herpes so you can put things in perspective. Herpes is nothing but a virus --- an opportunistic bug that grabs anyone it can. The medical community generally thinks of it as insignificant. The biggest problem is the social stigma, which is entirely manufactured, based on society's puritanical views about sex. If you buy into those views, it will be harder for you. But if you look at this from a logical, realistic, educated viewpoint, you will come to accept it, and to understand that it IN NO WAY changes the fundamental person you are.

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RealisticGal
I really hope this test shows a negative result. BUt where do I stop and will I be convinced? WIll I keep testing myself over and over. I am such a mess.

Boy, I don't know what to say about that, hon. I've seen a number of other folks here going through a very similar dilemma, some of whom have gone through quite a few rounds of testing.

I guess the best thing I can say is, take it one step at a time. If another test comes up negative, then perhaps it will be time to look for other possibilities.

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