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slim25

significant other

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slim25

So, my bf didn't react the way the way I thought he would after I confronted him with my OB.

My bf has suffered from cold sores his entire life...and I know this could be the cause of my OB. However, he told me that "he promised that if he had herpes that he got it from me" :(

He said he was sorry for being insensitive and said that he was confused. He has continued to be distant this week and goes to the doc tomorrow to be tested.

How did your partner react?

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AquariusAngel

Hi slim,

First of all, I am not replying to this regarding partner reaction as I am currently not in a relationship.

I have no doubt your genital herpes has been caused by your boyfriend. All it would have taken was for him to have a cold sore, and then him go down on you. Mind you, he would not even have to have a visible sore to infect you as there is such a thing as viral shedding. You can tell your boyfriend that cold sores is also herpes so IF he had it is out of the question..he does have it! It it still HSV, only it is OHSV (oral) rather than GHSV (genital). There is also 1 and 2 of each strain, but we won't go into that now! A lot of people take it very hard when they infect their partner. Perhaps that is why he is distant at the moment, and perhaps neither of you were very educated about this before you embarked on a sexual relationship together.

There is also a slight chance that you already had the virus in your body but just didn't show any symptoms, but I would say it more likely that he has passed it. If you want this relationship to go far, he will need to get over the blame game, and just be the best support he can for you, as I'm sure you are to him.

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RealisticGal

My bf has suffered from cold sores his entire life...and I know this could be the cause of my OB. However, he told me that "he promised that if he had herpes that he got it from me" :(

Cold sores are caused by herpes simplex virus. Most typically the strain is HSV1, but sometimes HSV2.

If your boyfriend has had cold sores "his entire life," that means he has had herpes all that time.

Statistically, that makes him normal, because roughly 80% of North Americans have oral herpes, usually acquired by the time they reach their teens.

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slim25

You're right! Neither of us obviously knew the risks involved with him suffering from cold sores. I had no idea that I could get genital HSV1 from him having a cold sore!! Which is why I think he is confused!! I have been trying to learn as much as I can and hope that we can manage it together

Before my diagnosis came back I knew that I wanted to be supportive of him and try to work through it together. We will see how it works out :-/

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RealisticGal

I hope that with more education his outlook will open up. Sounds like you are well on that road. You can only manage your own behavior. Hopefully that will be a good enough example to influence his.

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