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Doc Holiday

Viral Shedding and outbreaks with out sores just pisses me off!!!!!!!!!

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Doc Holiday

It's one thing to have this burden, but the whole chances of passing on the virus through viral shedding and not knowing your having an outbreak just pisses me off. It just doesn't make any since, how you can feel completely fine and have no sores yet still be contagious.

Why bother explaining to someone that you have it and there are chances they won't contact the virus if we take precautions when you don't even know when the virus is active.

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MadNMidwest

I know exactly what you mean. I'm recently diagnosed and have never had any symptoms...no nothing. I think that pisses me off more than anything else. So now I have to get into "that" discussion, because I may or may not be shedding at any given time? Seriously?!!

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MissHope

Doc, totally agree with your post! I have been thinking the exact same thing just this week.....

Not to float my own boat here when I know other folks have this really badly with much pain, but I have just been through what you describe. And it's mighty confusing! I've had the full blown OB in the past (trust me, it was unbearably painful) but now this bloody virus seems to have settled down to the point where I just get really bad tingles (like it wants to burst out) plus achy and grumpy - classic prodome symptoms - and then after popping valtrex, it seems to clear up overnight.

I was trying to work out if the symptoms were indicative of shedding, rather than actually being the start of an OB.... but all the research I've seen says that no one actually knows when we shed..... so yeah, I'm pissed off too!

The problem I have is that I have a non H partner and don't know when I stop being contagious. Why can't someone invent something that we can test the skin with? Surely there has to be something science can do for us! Does anyone know the rule of thumb for how long you should wait before gettin' intimate after a no-lesion outbreak??

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RealisticGal

The problem I have is that I have a non H partner and don't know when I stop being contagious. Why can't someone invent something that we can test the skin with? Surely there has to be something science can do for us! Does anyone know the rule of thumb for how long you should wait before gettin' intimate after a no-lesion outbreak??

I'd love it if there was some hard and fast rule for this, but I've read many different "suggestions."

Seems that as with all things herpes, this is basically like adult diapers (Depends...)

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MadNMidwest

Well, then I have a question... If a partner can catch the virus during the shedding phase and there's no definitive way of knowing when that is, why do some sources say it's ok to take the medication only when there's an OB?

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RealisticGal
Well, then I have a question... If a partner can catch the virus during the shedding phase and there's no definitive way of knowing when that is, why do some sources say it's ok to take the medication only when there's an OB?

I could be wrong, but I believe that advice might be for those who are not sexually active at the time. You know, then it would just be for the purpose of heading off an OB for the sake of the person's own comfort.

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MissHope
Well, then I have a question... If a partner can catch the virus during the shedding phase and there's no definitive way of knowing when that is, why do some sources say it's ok to take the medication only when there's an OB?

Well that's the whole gamble with this thing....! I don't take meds - I feel that my case is so mild that it's not worth it, and after discussions with my partner he is also comfortable with me not taking them. We have had unprotected sex although we do mostly use condoms. And so far, he's OK. He is going to get tested in a few weeks once we reach the three month exposure mark (from unprotected sex that is). I do take lysine and zinc however.

This weekend we abstained from intercourse just in case but the tricky part is without having a lesion that comes out and clears up, its hard to know when I stop being contagious.... I have taken a full course of valtrex this time, just in case and because the 'tingles' and other symptoms were what I've experienced in the past when I would get an OB.

I'd love to know if anyone here has actually known if they were shedding.... were there any symptoms or warning signs? Or is it just a totally unknown and random thing?

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Doc Holiday

So aggravating

This is bs I might as well just not have sex for the rest of my life. F*** a successful marriage! F*** having kids! Life without sex, I might as well be in hell.

I might as well have HIV! Without any signs of ob I can buy condoms, dental dames, meds, and lub put them all to use and still have to worry about spreading the virus.

It's sad when you hope that your next partner has herpes just to make you feel better. Kill yoself!!!!!!!! :mad: I feel like such a sorry @$$ piece of crap having this bs std. Out of all the sh*t I could have caught it had to be this, and f*** off if you gonna say it could be worse cause this sh*t is pretty much on the same level as HIV.

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GntiNh
This is bs I might as well just not have sex for the rest of my life. F*** a successful marriage! F*** having kids! Life without sex, I might as well be in hell.

I might as well have HIV! Without any signs of ob I can buy condoms, dental dames, meds, and lub put them all to use and still have to worry about spreading the virus.

It's sad when you hope that your next partner has herpes just to make you feel better. Kill yoself!!!!!!!! :mad: I feel like such a sorry @$$ piece of crap having this bs std. Out of all the sh*t I could have caught it had to be this, and f*** off if you gonna say it could be worse cause this sh*t is pretty much on the same level as HIV.

I cannot compare HSV with HIV. My HSV is a mild skin condition which at first was very painful, both physically and mentally, but it won't kill me.

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Guest ArmyRanger

Quit Crying

Dude you got a lot of nerve with all that bullshit you put down about wishing you had Aids instead. Do you know how many Aids patients would trade you places in a split second, and take that "God Awful" herpes off your hands, and let you weigh 80 Goddamn pounds, and die a slow painful death in a hospice? All of them would! Your biggest problem is going to be a few pimples on your dick from time to time, grab your balls and quit feeling so sorry for yourself and trying to get attention, because i'll tell you that last shit you posted was the most ridiculous self pity speech i've ever heard. Never get married, never have sex again, no kids, get the fuck outta here, if this gets me banned so be it, but you need to realize herpes is not even close to being anything that will shut your life down. On the same level as HIV huh, yeah go look at someone on their death bed with Aids and tell me that. Go ahead whoever ban me, I can't believe the crybaby shit I read on these forums.

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AF Vet
This is bs I might as well just not have sex for the rest of my life. F*** a successful marriage! F*** having kids! Life without sex, I might as well be in hell.

I might as well have HIV! Without any signs of ob I can buy condoms, dental dames, meds, and lub put them all to use and still have to worry about spreading the virus.

It's sad when you hope that your next partner has herpes just to make you feel better. Kill yoself!!!!!!!! :mad: I feel like such a sorry @$$ piece of crap having this bs std. Out of all the sh*t I could have caught it had to be this, and f*** off if you gonna say it could be worse cause this sh*t is pretty much on the same level as HIV.

Your being pretty harsh... for one, I have to agree with Ranger about compairing this to HIV. At least this isn't going to kill you, slowly and painfully. Its a pain in the a$$, literally sometimes, yea... but it isn't as bad as all that.... I've had HSV2 Genitally 3+ yrs and I'm currently in a long term relationship with somebody who doesn't have HSV. He's fully aware of the consequences and the risks he's taking every time we have sex, and yet we're still together. I've heard stories of other people who've been together 30+ years, have children, and one of the partners have HSV and the other has never developed it. So living a normal life is not only possible, but entirely likely.

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RealisticGal
Dude you got a lot of nerve with all that bullshit you put down about wishing you had Aids instead. Do you know how many Aids patients would trade you places in a split second, and take that "God Awful" herpes off your hands, and let you weigh 80 Goddamn pounds, and die a slow painful death in a hospice? All of them would! Your biggest problem is going to be a few pimples on your dick from time to time, grab your balls and quit feeling so sorry for yourself and trying to get attention, because i'll tell you that last shit you posted was the most ridiculous self pity speech i've ever heard. Never get married, never have sex again, no kids, get the fuck outta here, if this gets me banned so be it, but you need to realize herpes is not even close to being anything that will shut your life down. On the same level as HIV huh, yeah go look at someone on their death bed with Aids and tell me that. Go ahead whoever ban me, I can't believe the crybaby shit I read on these forums.

Thanks for saying what I was thinking, dude. :wavey:

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Pandalvr

Doc, I completely get how you feel. I've only known of my diagnosis a week and I've gone through all of the thoughts and feelings you have shared here. I have thought to myself "there goes my sexual freedom/spontaneity". I've even had a complete emotional break down where I thought life is not worth living but you know what? None of us deserved this. Why am I going to beat myself up about it? Sadly the reality is that when you have sexual relations with ANYONE you put yourself at risk. It doesn't matter if you're monogamous, if it's your first time or if you're promiscuous as all hell. This crap can happen to anyone and it happened to us. The best you can do is understand that what you truly got was a second chance. Sure there is no cure for this but it is completely treatable and hopefully you'll be like some of us lucky ones that never get outbreaks. Believe me when I tell you that you will find people that love and accept you with this. Is it annoying that there is no way to tell if you're shedding? YES! This is what makes me the most sick especially after I found out that after having unprotected sex with my current boyfriend countless times HE HAS NOT contracted HPV2. He just got his test results back yesterday. Take it easy Doc, I understand your frustration and it's good you are coming here to vent and let it out but believe me it does get better. This is not the end of the world. We are not damaged goods, we just got dealt a bad hand. Life must go on. I'm sending you a big hug. Take care of yourself.

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TattoosandSass

The fact that people with this virus help make those that don't have it still think it's such a terrible thing is why the stigma is still stuck with it. It's not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. It's not going to kill me, there are countless other things I could have that could be A LOT worse. I could have cancer, I could have kidney disease, I could have lost a limb, etc. Herpes is a virus, a lot of people catch viruses in their lifetime, most of them already have the herpes simplex 1 virus anyway. You will find someone that loves you and wants to be with you, I met my soul mate 2 weeks after finding out I had HSV-1 genitally, I was so worried that someone I cared for so much and liked so much wasn't going to want to be with me after I told him and you know what, he couldn't have cared less, it changed absolutely nothing, he still has just as strong as a sex drive to be with me now after telling him as he did before. So far, we've not had sex, I've went down on him and he's went down on me, but he's accepted all risks and doesn't mind at all.

Everyone should take a step back and realize that in the grand scheme of life, this is a small and insignificant thing.

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purplegoddess8591

doc.

wow. someones v ery angry, and good for u cuz u have every right to be. but talk to any hiv carrier, and i bet you any money theyd love to switch with u. this will get better for u....in time. ij sorry ur so down on urself but hsv will never kill u. hiv will. and even hiv infected people have sex with those that dont and odnt pass it to their partners. its all about awareness dear. knowing ur body. this doesnt have to run ur life. u wouldnt make out with someone if they had the flu either, until meds made em feel better. herpes is the same thing. are there chances of u virally shedding and not knowing? yea of course. but theres also chances of u picking up a germ in the grocery store from someone not washign their hands and u touching the same fruit they did. i mean theres a chance from the moment we walk out our door in the morning until were safely back in our beds at the end of the night. do the best you can to educate yourself about the condition and be as open with ur sex partners as u can. make sure they understand the risks, and make sure u pay attention to ur body. thats all there is too it. and dont talk about kiling yourself. wouldnt it suck if you did...and then the day after they came up with the cure? bet ud kick urself in the butt for that one!

also...im very sorry that u r obviously so misinformed and uneducated about something in your own body. and please do us all a favor and keep your kill yourself suggestions to urself. there are a lot of wonderful, and concerned people on this website that unlike YOU, are very informed and take charge of their life, and instead of bitching, theyre trying to help others deal with this and help with a cure as well as create awareness from preventing this from happening to other people. that attitude, is not appreciated, and im sure everyone in this website shares my feelings on that one. telling people to kill themselves... shame on you. 1) for ranting about something ur obviously complete;y obvlivious to and 2) for trying to make people feel so crappy about themselves just so u have company down on ur level in ur own self pity. NOT COOL

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Denise 07

Wow Doc you got alot of anger built up buddy. I think there are a hell of alot of other diseases out there that are much worse to have than this. I have a nephew that is only 13 and has a rare disease called juvenile battens disease. His life expectancy is only 20 yrs old. He is blind and is losing his motor skills. Eventually he will be unmobile all together and have to be in a wheel chair. There is no cure for this so he has alot rougher time than I do with herpes. Also I have a cousin who's wife got kidney cancer and she has 3 kid's. She had to have alot of chemo and thought that she wouldn't be alive to see her kid's grow up and she is only in her 30's. She also found out she has a anuerism in her brain and she had to be operated on so they could remove it. The doctor said it could burst at any time and she didn't want this to happen. The surgery is very risky for this. So is alot more people that got dealt worse than we have. I try to put other people first with what they have to deal with. I don't like having this but I know it won't kill me. In fact this virus gets better the longer you have it. It really isn't that big of a deal and we have meds to control it. There are people out there that will accept you as a partner you just need to have patience. I am married and have two kid's but I didn't know that I had herpes until last November. My husband had it without knowing it and never had outbreaks. He is asymptomatic to the virus hsv-1. If I did know that he had this I would have still married and had his kid's, it wouldn't have changed my feelings for him whatsoever.

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StrngHldCaptive

I'm mad too!

Doc, I'm with you on this anger thing.

I was a virgin til I was 26 & the ONLY person I've ever slept with gave this to me via viral shedding. He's never had a symptom his whole life. When I told him, he got defensive and his wife yelled over the phone about how I probably slept around & just wanted to blame him. Newsflash- His ex-wife had it! If he didn't take any precautions... well, you get the idea. :madd:

Well, I pretty much feel the same as you. I don't feel like I'll ever have a future marriage or kids. I refuse to have a marriage without sex cuz the other person doesn't want to get this. As soon as I tell someone I have a date with, it's usually the end of the conversation.

I take meds that make me sick. I tried lysine that didn't slow anything down. I'm pretty much convinced that I might as well find a good toy and get used to it.

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StrngHldCaptive

Yeah, right...

In fact this virus gets better the longer you have it. It really isn't that big of a deal and we have meds to control it. There are people out there that will accept you as a partner you just need to have patience.

Really? Prove it. Mine have gotten much worse over the past 4 years I've had this & the meds are making me more sick & aren't slowing down anything. Oh, and the chances of me finding someone willing to accept this in the circles of people I'm around... slim to none.

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MissHope
Really? Prove it. Mine have gotten much worse over the past 4 years I've had this & the meds are making me more sick & aren't slowing down anything. Oh, and the chances of me finding someone willing to accept this in the circles of people I'm around... slim to none.

SHC, sorry but I guess none of us can really do that.... I'm with Denise in that since diagnosis, my OB's have become much better. They are now very infrequent and so mild that I almost don't know if I'm having one (hence the post on this thread earlier up).

But that's just me. Every single person on this forum is different and is treated differently by this sneaky little bugger unfortunately.

For me personally, I don't take meds. When I was diagnosed over a year ago, I decided that I would go natural so I could learn what my triggers were and how my body dealt with the extra passenger on board. I now only take valtrex when I feel the dreaded tingles and get nerve/sciatic pain. I also take lysine but not religiously, more so when I get stressed or rundown.

I'm not sure what you are on, but perhaps you could try and alternate type? A friend of mine has no luck with valtrex for her GH but does with acyclovir....? Im hoping some other members can chime in here with their advice for you... and have a look through the treatments fact sheet there on the right under the fight back tab for more info.

I have also found a non h partner post diagnosis. Like you I never thought anyone would accept me but I realised that with that attitude, I was only cheating myself. Staying home and sulking was never going to do me any good, so I dusted myself off and carried on living and in the process I met someone that couldn't care less about my extra baggage.

I am sorry you are having a tough time with this - I wish I could take some of the discomfort for you. I hope things do get better for you real soon.

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Denise 07

Thanks Miss Hope for backing me up :) I appreciate it!

I also don't take the antivirals now. I decided to go all natural with super lysine and kelp extract and I feel so much better now. I also seem to forget that I even have this darn virus now. I think that is what alot of people do when they get diagnosed with this. All they do is think about it and I think maybe that is part of why their outbreaks are more frequent. I try not to think about it and I don't really bring it up much anymore either to my husband. He is also + to hsv-1 but doesn't get outbreaks. I just take it day by day and hope that I will fall into that 50% that get ghsv-1 outbreaks never get another outbreak again! I know it will always be inside of me but maybe it will go to sleep forever and I won't be bothered again. A girl can dream can't she! I found that when I was taking the acyclovir that it seemed to cause me to feel needle like sensations inside my body. I don't know if it was the meds or the virus. Once I stopped taking it and stayed on natural herbs I rarely feel those needle like sensations.

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BeOk

I've come into contact 6 months ago with a person who has herpes simplex 1 (cold sores). He never told me. He also thought cold sores were just from being out in the cold. I call that ignorant. Anyway, I don't know if I have herpes yet but there's a high chance that if I do, I got it from viral shedding. It makes me madder than anything has ever done before.

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Lattegirl

BeOK-

you could have just as easily caught HSV-1 as a child from being held/kissed by a relative that had it. Most people do not understand what herpes is or the fact that there are 8 herpes viruses that humans are susceptible to. If you had chickenpox as a child, then you already have a herpes virus hiding latent in your body.

If this person you came in contact with has not been tested for HSV1 (or 2), then the appearance of a cold sore doesn't necessarily mean that person has herpes. A sore on the inside of the mouth can be a canker sore, a sore on the outside of the mouth could be herpes, but not always. Without proof of antibodies (or virus), all you have is an inflammation of tissue and nothing more.

Same thing holds true when someone has the "flu." Unless you've been tested for the influenza virus, you could have one of the common cold viruses, allergies, or something else.

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