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happyface

my story :(

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happyface

hi everyone..i am very new to this..i came upon this website searching and searching for some answers and someone to talk to!. i havent talkd to anyone about my situation that i am in.. nobody but the person that i may have contacted the disease from and a close cousin of mine. This has got to be the worst thing that has ever happend in my life. I usually handle all the punches that life throws at me, but when a doctor told me i may have herpes i felt as if i died that day.and sometimes i still do feel like dying. here's my story..i was seeing this guy for some months..i practically knew him for a long time..we started sleepin with each other..and one time we ddnt use a condom mainly being under the influence of alcholic drinks. neways a couple days after i had a breakout on my thighs..which really didnt hurt at first they were just there and were very noticable. i also started having brown discharge..which i thought i was pregnant..but that wasnt the case. I never experienced painful urniation scabs nor blisters..they were just little bumps that had me terrified.. long story short i finally had the chance to go to the health clinic on my college campus..she took one glance at them and said it seems i have herpes that is in the healing process...i felt as if i died right then.. she then swabed me and came back in the room 15 min later and said yes i have herpes simplex II with a yeast infection. but the only way for us to be sure is to have a blood test in 12 weeks. i just dont understand. And everything that i have googled on the web says that it takes 2 to 3 days for swab test to come back..how was it that she was able to tell me so soon?..it has been 4 months now that i have not had an outbreak..i still have not gone to get my blood test done because i have to wait for school to start back up. But everynight i cry myself to sleep..worried and afraid. i've been having these bad tension headaches for bout a week now all in my neck and in the back of my head..i'm afraid that this stress is going to kill me..i feel that i have nobody to talk to because i'm afraid of what people may think of me. Even though i had sex and etc which i'm the one to blame..i completely believe in God. I pray everynight for a miracle to let that have been something else that occured within my body..and if it was that he heals me!!..i just need someome to talk to in the meantime to help prepare myself for the blood test..I'm completely scared!!! :sad:

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Jules P

:)

You're not alone. I was devasted as well.. Please go and get the blood test so you will know... I had it for awhile and didn't even know. I was devasted when she told me i had both type 1 and 2... All the little rash i thought were my sensitive skin rashes and then some cold sore thinking i was just feeling down... I was diagnosed in may and have cried and cried. Have no clue who gave it me.. I notice a rash after 3 yrs i was married and until today, hubby is positive for both and has never had any breakout since. For all i know he could have given it to me. I think the doctor told you to wait is because the blood test will show antibodies which indicate for sure if it's type 2 if i an not mistaken. I have cried and cried like you.. Life is over. What if i ever got a divorce, knock on wood i won't ever, but what if i did... Im scared no one will love me for me and people will judge me too. I feel for you but hang in there.. It will get better. Read all about taking care of your body. Take the lysine if you have breakouts but i made it a health thing for me. Keep myself healthy, take my vitamines and boost my immune system and you won't get too many breakouts.. It seems to be working for me but i've never had anything severe just small bumps or rashes.. Had one cold sore but inside upper lips and doctor said it was the herpes.. Good luck :)

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pazdelmar

Hey happy,

I totally understand how you feel, and let me tell you that we have all been in your situation. Herpes can be devastating because of the stigma it comes with, but you will see that you are the same wonderful person you have always been regardless of herpes.

Please don't let this small, silly virus tell you what to do. It will not affect you at school, with friends, or with you family. The only thing it will change maybe -and perhaps the bright side of herpes-is that you will choose your next partner more carefully because it takes time to trust someone enough to tell about the virus. And believe, although this virus has a huge social stigma, when it comes to reality and feelings, you will find that most people don't care about it. Personally, I was so afraid of telling anyone about this. Then I told my family, my closest friends and I found out that they still love as if herpes wasn't part of me. Two of my friends are guys, and both told me that if they were to choose between spending the rest of their lives with me and my herpes, and being aways from me, they would choose me because they love me so much.

At the end of the day, it can be difficult for us to forgive or love ourselves, but for other people, loving us is the easiest thing to do.

Don't be scared. God will help you get through this though moment. Remember that he loves you. You are not alone. You have us all, and we are here to help you and cheer you up.

Take care,

Paz

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happyface

thanks so much..i really needed to hear that..i found out about this in may..some days are fine but days like this..i feel like shuttn myself from the world n hide forever..i am in college and just got accepted in speech pathology field..and i'm scared this situation is goin to make me fail...but do yall really think it was possible for the doctor to diagnose me with herpes in the same visit??..i dont think any of us deserve to go through this at all..it's just not fair..because a lot of us didnt deserve it in the first place..this is sooooo embarrsn....n i want to get back with my x becuz he still loves me and has been tryin to get back with me for the longest..but how can i tell him the woman he use to love and still do..has herpes now from somebody else????:(

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happyface

also..i had oral sex with him too..and that was first before i even had unprotected sex with him..so shudnt i have at least had an oral break out first??cuz i havent had anything strange happening with my mouth lips or anything??

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pazdelmar

If he loves you and you love him, don't be afraid. We are humans, and we all make mistakes; no one is perfect. Life goes on and we have to live it. Let me give you my example. I met this guy three years ago, and by that time, I didn't have H (or at least I didn't know I had it); yet I told him I didn't want to be with him. Three months ago, we met again, and we started dating. I told him that I had H thinking that he would walk away immediately. For my surprise, he told me that I was still the same beautifull, wonderfull, honest and great person he fell in love with three years ago. Herpes doesn't mean a thing to him because he is in love with the person I am. So if you think that your ex loves you, and you are in love with him, don't let this virus tell you what to do. Go out there and live your life!

Now, the test the Dr did in the office is new to me. If I were you, I would get the test as soons as you get the chance.

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pazdelmar

Not always

also..i had oral sex with him too..and that was first before i even had unprotected sex with him..so shudnt i have at least had an oral break out first??cuz i havent had anything strange happening with my mouth lips or anything??

If it is type 2 herpes, you may never show symptoms in you mouth or lips. Usually, hsv2 likes the waistdown zone; however, some people do have ob in lips/face from hsv2, but they are not as commom.

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happyface

Thats very good to hear!! i wish nuttn but the best for you two!!.. sometime i sit back and try and put myself in other peoples shoes..like wut if the tables was turned and the guy i loved or like told me they had herpes..would i run away being scared or wuld i stay??..i cant seem to answer that..i'm just scared to put anybody thru sumn this horrible when they dont have to go through it you know..because it was my stupid mistake for not choosn my men carefully..

as far as the doc goes.my cousin suggested that i go to a health facility or a doctor..because our on campus health facility gives a lot of false resports..because i mean she swab me and came ri back in and told me shes sure i have herpes.and she found some yeast as well but come back in 12 weeks for a blood test.. i mean doesnt it take time to get swab test back as well??.. and all these symptoms i see ppl say bout the painful urniation and etc etc..i never had that..so i donno..i'm scared... but you are right...i should b at least thankful it's not deadly cuz i bet its people with aids or hiv..that would prolly love to be in our shoes right??..sighs***

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happyface

okay i understand..but how is it that i get 2 without 1 first ..especially if oral is what i did first...??ughh all of this is so confusin..and when i asked my partner(at the time) he claims to have never had any symptoms of herpes..and i think he thinks i may have gave it to him..but i know that's not the case..cuz i stay up to day on all my paps....

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RealisticGal
long story short i finally had the chance to go to the health clinic on my college campus..she took one glance at them and said it seems i have herpes that is in the healing process...i felt as if i died right then.. she then swabed me and came back in the room 15 min later and said yes i have herpes simplex II with a yeast infection. but the only way for us to be sure is to have a blood test in 12 weeks. i just dont understand. And everything that i have googled on the web says that it takes 2 to 3 days for swab test to come back..how was it that she was able to tell me so soon?

I'm with you, happyface. I have never heard of anyone being able to grow a herpes culture in 15 minutes!

Here's what this site has to say about that method of testing:

Viral culture

This is where the virus is grown in material known as a culture medium. A viral culture looks for the presence of the virus in the lesion.

Viral culture testing is very specific, this method:

  • Does not frequently give a positive result when something else is the culprit
  • Can also be very sensitive if the specimen is adequate
  • Provides a way to tell whether the infection is caused by HSV-1 or HSV-2

Sometimes more than one test will be needed

A poor sample may cause sensitivity to drop. Even if herpes lesions are present, there may be very little active virus left in the lesions. In this case, the culture will come back as a false negative (the test says there is no herpes even when the patient actually has genital herpes).

Approximately twenty percent of culture tests produce a "false negative" when a patient has a first episode of herpes. With recurrent episodes, when less of the virus is present, the rate of false negatives goes up to 50 percent.

It can take any time from two to seven days to get viral culture results back from the laboratory, which may mean several visits to your Doctor before a diagnosis is confirmed.

Lots of people need to be tested more than once. The viral culture often misses herpes even when it is present. Often a patient who has received a negative culture result will be asked to come back again when a new genital lesion appears so the culture can be tried a second or third time.

***************

Is the campus clinic open at this point? If I were you, I would call them ASAP and ask for clarification of your diagnosis. I would ask them to tell you precisely what type of testing was done, and I would ask for a printout of the test results.

What I'm betting is that you will learn that no testing was done for herpes, but rather that she diagnosed you only visually.

As I am sure you may have found in your research, visual diagnosis is notoriously inaccurate. I'm sure you want to be certain of what is really happening in your body. Hope you can get that answer real soon! :wavey:

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RealisticGal
okay i understand..but how is it that i get 2 without 1 first ..especially if oral is what i did first...??ughh all of this is so confusin..and when i asked my partner(at the time) he claims to have never had any symptoms of herpes..and i think he thinks i may have gave it to him..but i know that's not the case..cuz i stay up to day on all my paps....

Either type (HSV1 or HSV2) can reside in either area (face/mouth or genitals).

So just because an infection is oral, does not mean it is caused by HSV1. Likewise, just because it is in the genital area, does not mean it is caused by HSV2. In fact, genital HSV1 is on the rise (mostly because of the growing practice of oral sex).

There is nothing that says you have to get type 1 before you can get type 2. The only thing that determines what type you get is what type you are exposed to. So if the person you got it from had type 2 but did not have type 1, there is no way you could have acquired type 1 from that person.

It is often very difficult to determine who gave what to whom, especially if neither of you knew you had it. It is estimated that about 80% of those who have genital herpes do not know they have it, because they are asymptomatic (never have known symptoms).

HOWEVER, you need to know that PAP smears do not test for herpes. Neither do most routine "full STI panels." Generally speaking, the only way you will be tested for herpes is if the doctor suspects you have it, and/or if you SPECIFICALLY request that test.

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happyface

thank u so much...yall words tonite has put me at ease..and i thank God for that..ive been cryin all day and suffern from chronic tension headaches all week..and i just need to calm down..but yes..i've never heard of anyone tellin someone they have herpes in the same day...but she didnt ask if i wanted medicine or nuttin..she said i was in my healing stage and wouldnt need it..so that's why she didnt prescribe me anything...and she printed me out a sheet of a followup that they did on me that day..and it said yeast infection/herpes.. and i told her how could she be so sure she says shes seen the virus many times in her career...but yes wen school starts back n a couple of weeks i'm going to get the blood test..and i havent heard anything from them sinse may..when she told me that day that i had it

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RealisticGal
she printed me out a sheet of a followup that they did on me that day..and it said yeast infection/herpes.. and i told her how could she be so sure she says shes seen the virus many times in her career...but yes wen school starts back n a couple of weeks i'm going to get the blood test..and i havent heard anything from them sinse may..when she told me that day that i had it

Yep, I've heard of many, many doctors who say they know for sure because they have seen it. Yet the inaccurate visual diagnoses continue!!!

Here's a quote from a site called herpesdiagnosis.com which discusses a bit about visual diagnosis, including the recommendation of the Centers for Disease Control.

"A visual examination is only one part of a complete diagnostic work-up.

Making a diagnosis of genital herpes by visual inspection and by asking you questions is not easy and even experts can be wrong. For one thing, genital herpes doesn't look the same in every patient; it can "mimic" the appearance of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and other STD's can look like herpes.

A mild case of herpes can easily be mistaken for something that has nothing to do with STDs such as a pimple, an ingrown hair, or a simple rash. Thus confirming a diagnosis with a laboratory test is critical.

If your health care provider sees any genital lesions, you should ask if this could be herpes and ask if he or she has ordered a laboratory test for herpes. Most authorities and the Centers for Disease Control feel that laboratory tests are important to be sure that what looks like herpes really is herpes. On the other hand, we do not recommend a swab test (for virus detection) if lesions are not seen. In this situation, we recommend asking for a herpes antibody test."

I want to mention one more thing. You mention that you think you contracted herpes on an occasion when you did not use a condom. Condoms can lower the risk somewhat, but I just want you to understand that it is still possible to transmit herpes when using condoms every time because they do not cover all the area that might be shedding viral particles. Just something to maybe make you understand that it might have happened anyway.

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happyface

okay!! thank you..and i'm wondering after she swabbd me wut kind of test did she take or do..in order to tell me so fast that i had herpes..??

another question..i've also seen on websites..that sometime ppl only spread the virus when it is present..or the person is shedding..or whatever..and that it is less likely to spread the virus..if you are not having breakouts or shedding but it is likely to..i guess that really dont make sinse cuz half of ppl that spread the virus dont know that they have it anyway..just like my partner..which i keep telln him to please get tested..cuz if he dont have it..then that would give me some comfort

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RealisticGal
okay!! thank you..and i'm wondering after she swabbd me wut kind of test did she take or do..in order to tell me so fast that i had herpes..??

My wild ass guess is that she confirmed the presence of yeast using the swab she took from you. The test for that would be a wet mount slide, which doesn't take very long to process.

I think she "diagnosed" herpes based entirely on her visual exam.

:madd:

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RealisticGal

another question..i've also seen on websites..that sometime ppl only spread the virus when it is present..or the person is shedding..or whatever..and that it is less likely to spread the virus..if you are not having breakouts or shedding but it is likely to..i guess that really dont make sinse cuz half of ppl that spread the virus dont know that they have it anyway..just like my partner..which i keep telln him to please get tested..cuz if he dont have it..then that would give me some comfort

It is only possible to transmit herpes when viral particles are present on the surface of the skin/mucus membranes.

The big question is, when are those particles present?

  • DEFINITELY --- when there is an active outbreak with sores
  • POSSIBLY --- at other times when there are no noticeable symptoms

The second option can occur due to something called asymptomatic viral shedding. The problem is, there is no way for any person to know what days they have that sort of asymptomatic shedding.

Some things that can be done to lessen the risk during times of viral shedding are using condoms and taking anti-viral medications. Read the links on the right under Prevention. They are pretty clear.

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agoodperson

My doc only did a visual exam on me as well. I mean, he did swab the sores and stuff, but i never was told after that what it was.

when i went back for my f/u, i asked him waht type it was and he said it really didn't matter! he's a great doc though, and i trust him completely, but now i'm thiinking he didn't give me enough info.

the bf i was w/ at the time, the one we assumed gave it to me cause i had hte OB a few days after we did oral, he went and got tested and his doc confirmed he was type I, oral, but asymptomatic. his doc said it was a really old infection cause of the antibodies (like he got it as a kid from a grandma who kissed him or something), so from there, we just had assumed that i was then type I genital since my OB was genital.

I think I need to call my doc TODAY to get the true test results and tell my doc that yes it DOES matter to me what type it is. I just assumed the visual diagnosis was enough, but you're saying they are inaccurate alot of times?

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RealisticGal

I think I need to call my doc TODAY to get the true test results and tell my doc that yes it DOES matter to me what type it is. I just assumed the visual diagnosis was enough, but you're saying they are inaccurate alot of times?

You payed for those tests. If I were you, I would certainly want to know the precise results of what I payed for. Maybe that's just me. But especially when it comes to herpes (sneaky little bastard), I would not assume anything. I would want to know for sure if at all possible.

As for visual diagnoses...I'm saying that they are notoriously unreliable, yes.

This is not my opinion --- it is what the experts (including the Centers for Disease Control) say. I am just reporting that to you. See post #14 above.

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RealisticGal

when i went back for my f/u, i asked him waht type it was and he said it really didn't matter! he's a great doc though, and i trust him completely, but now i'm thiinking he didn't give me enough info.

Not to bash your doc. A lot of docs, especially GPs, simply aren't up to speed on herpes. But here's a snippet from a NY Times article with some points about why an ACCURATE diagnosis, including type, is important:

Diagnosis

"The herpes simplex virus is usually identifiable by its characteristic lesion: A thin-walled blister on an inflamed base of skin. However, other conditions can resemble herpes, and doctors cannot base a herpes diagnosis on visual inspection alone. In addition, some patients who carry the virus may not have visible genital lesions. Laboratory tests are essential for confirming herpes diagnosis. These tests include:

  • V irologic tests (viral culture of the lesion)
  • S erologic tests (blood tests that detect antibodies).

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC) recommends that both virologic and serologic tests be used for diagnosing genital herpes. Patients diagnosed with genital herpes should also be tested for other sexually transmitted diseases.

According to the CDC, up to 50% of first-episode cases of genital herpes are now caused by herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV-1). However, recurrences of genital herpes, and viral shedding without overt symptoms, are much less frequent with HSV-1 infection than herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2). It is important for doctors to determine whether the genital herpes infection is caused by HSV-1 or HSV-2, as the type of herpes infection influences prognosis and treatment recommendations."

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agoodperson

Thanks, RealisticGal. I hope upon hope that the visual diagnosis was WRONG (although i doubt it.....because the OB was pretty bad and painful). All he did was do a swab and then hand me a pamphlet on GH. But like i said, when i went back for my f/u he said the type didn't matter and was just checking up on my mental state really, cause the day i went to him when he gave me the pamphlet, i cried so much they had to have a nurse follow me home because they were afraid i couldn't drive from crying so much.........

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RealisticGal

Size may not matter, but type could

Here's one more reason type matters...

What if you meet someone in the future and decide you want to be intimate?

What if that person also has herpes?

Now lets say he knows what type he has.

But you don't.

It could be helpful to know whether or not you both have the same type, as that would potentially affect what sort of precautions the two of you might decide to take during intimacy.

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happyface

:dong:when i personally had my first outbreak or wutever it was..it was not painful at all..just itched..what scared me the most was the brown disharge i was having..i remember i shaved down there that following week..but i always shave but this was different..neways when i went to the doctor..she said are u sure these arent painful and she kept pressin the bumps and i said i'm sure..and she was like that cant be cuz i'm sure its herpes and how shes surprised they werent hurting..then she leaves out..comes back and say yes u have herpes.type II.with a little yeast infection etc etc.gave me a video on herpes and all..till this day..i havnt opened it..i just cant bare to look at that right now..guess i'm n denial..but she said sinse my herpes out break was in it's healing stage she said she wouldnt be able to test me that day or something sinse i was in the healing state.which my bumps had just came 3 days prior my doc visit..but i wasnt in the healing state those bumps lasted a weeks after that..n then they did become painful..maybe cuz i started put alcohol on it..which i know i shuldnt have.....but i lookd in the mirror n i never seen blisters pulse or wutever happens in the healing process...just remained red little bumps the whole time...i am devestated..n praying for a miracle...till this day i havnt heard from anybody about no swab test or nething..i guess whatever test she did on me that day was enough for them i dont know??

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happyface

:dong:when i personally had my first outbreak or wutever it was..it was not painful at all..just itched..what scared me the most was the brown disharge i was having..i remember i shaved down there that following week..but i always shave but this was different..neways when i went to the doctor..she said are u sure these arent painful and she kept pressin the bumps and i said i'm sure..and she was like that cant be cuz i'm sure its herpes and how shes surprised they werent hurting..then she leaves out..comes back and say yes u have herpes.type II.with a little yeast infection etc etc.gave me a video on herpes and all..till this day..i havnt opened it..i just cant bare to look at that right now..guess i'm n denial..but she said sinse my herpes out break was in it's healing stage she said she wouldnt be able to test me that day or something sinse i was in the healing state.which my bumps had just came 3 days prior my doc visit..but i wasnt in the healing state those bumps lasted a weeks after that..n then they did become painful..maybe cuz i started put alcohol on it..which i know i shuldnt have.....but i lookd in the mirror n i never seen blisters pulse or wutever happens in the healing process...just remained red little bumps the whole time...i am devestated..n praying for a miracle...till this day i havnt heard from anybody about no swab test or nething..i guess whatever test she did on me that day was enough for them i dont know??

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RealisticGal
when i went to the doctor..she said are u sure these arent painful and she kept pressin the bumps and i said i'm sure..and she was like that cant be cuz i'm sure its herpes and how shes surprised they werent hurting..then she leaves out..comes back and say yes u have herpes.type II.with a little yeast infection etc etc.gave me a video on herpes and all..till this day..i havnt opened it..i just cant bare to look at that right now..guess i'm n denial..but she said sinse my herpes out break was in it's healing stage she said she wouldnt be able to test me that day or something sinse i was in the healing state.which my bumps had just came 3 days prior my doc visit..but i wasnt in the healing state those bumps lasted a weeks after that..n then they did become painful..maybe cuz i started put alcohol on it..which i know i shuldnt have.....but i lookd in the mirror n i never seen blisters pulse or wutever happens in the healing process...just remained red little bumps the whole time...i am devestated..n praying for a miracle...till this day i havnt heard from anybody about no swab test or nething..i guess whatever test she did on me that day was enough for them i dont know??

All this contradictory info. Very confusing.

Your doc said she could not test you because of the state of your outbreak? Well, if she didn't do a test, that explains why you never got results. What you say about whatever she did being "enough for them" makes no sense to me whatsoever. It doesn't need to be enough for them. It needs to be enough for you. It is YOUR body and they aren't going to go out of their way to give a damn. You have to do that for yourself.

You should go get a REAL test done so you will know for sure. If I were you, I would go somewhere else, like an STI clinic perhaps.

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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  • Posts

    • joescrilla
      More confusion! So the results have come back for both of the partners that I've been with over the last 3-4 years and they are both negative for type 1 and type 2. Where do I go next? Any advice?
    • Gems
      please look through the forum in exact and careful detail and inform yourself of less than usual circumstances to cover yourself.

      auto inoculation is rare and it can happen. off objects is debated but some people claim it happens. some people have experienced it happens easily.

      so you know practice good hygiene. i personal think use a heated towel rail and make sure your towels are fully hot and dry. there were studies in the 80's showing it can live on towels for 75 hours. The herpes association say most experts agree it cannot be caught off a towel. That is most experts not all. Some people end up with it on their body and one has to wonder how? Towels I would guess.

      Things that tend to stay kinda wet or so on. cups are another one that fit that i think.

      I remember being at university once and being in the bathroom while a girl was on the phone to her friend.She thought she had a bite on her face but clear to me someone with herpes had kissed her on the cheek recently, it didnt look typical just her skin peeling. 

      I am not an expert though or a doctor so do your own research.  
       
    • Phoenixx
      Update: The creme that contains the tetrapodal zinc oxide still isn't available at Gorch Fock Apotheke Kiel. I called them today: same status as last year and they have no further information on when and if it will be available again.
    • Phoenixx
      Lilian, the zinc acetate we are talking about here is different from the tetrapodal zinc oxide that you are mentioning. But thanks for the reminder. The ointment that contains the tetrapodal zinc oxide still isn't available at Gorch Fock Apotheke Kiel. I called them today: same status as last year and they have no further information on when and if it will be available again.
    • Gems
      I've had neg swabs but I am sure you'll get it. Follow the process. I haven't read the thread in exact detail, but if you have documentation of doctors mishandling your case when you get/ if you get a poss inform them in writing as well as the medical board I think.  Under diagnosis is as problematic as false pos and reducing transmission is good.
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