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I feel I'm being punished for having sex before marriage


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I can't get this thought out of my head. I keep thinking that this is why I got hsv for having sex before marriage. This is my punishment :( Does anyone else feel this way?

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Think of all the (MANY!) folks who have had (LOTS OF) sex before marriage, and have NOT gotten herpes or any other STD...

It's a virus, and it's the luck of the draw who gets it.

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Exactly what Realistic said!

When things start going wrong in our lives and it seems a bit too much to bear I too start to winder is this my punishment? But I know that my God is a God of love and who forgives. It is just life, sometimes it sucks, some more then others. Take care.:flowers:

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Thanks guy's :) I was feeling down yesterday so I just was questioning why this has happened to me. I shouldn't feel selfish because there are alot of people dealing with things much worse than this. I just keep thinking back before I had the outbreak and didn't know that I had this and just want that life back again. I know it won't happen and I need to move on but it gets frustrating. I've been with my husband for 21 yrs and now hsv decides to come out and play I just keep thinking it is a nigthmare and I'll wake up and everything will be back to normal but that doesn't happen. Anyway, I know that this isn't a punishment and shouldn't have questioned that I was just feeling really down yesterday. I had to increase my acyclovir and I think it can make you feel depressed. Thanks for listening and offering advice :) I appreciate it!

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Well, yeah, that's a totally normal reaction when we are feeling down. I do it a lot.

Rationalizations... Wondering what I did wrong that came back and bit me in the ass... Thinking Karma has come along and run over my Dogma...

Really, these things are just life. What was the title of that book? "When Bad Things Happen To Good People," I think?

Hey, if you are feeling down a lot, you might try taking some supplements. I take SAM-e for several of the effects, not the least of which is mood. St. John's Wort is another thing you might consider.

Don't take both at once. We wouldn't want you getting too giddy! :rolleyes:

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  • 2 months later...

Punishment?

I was having the same feelings (wondering if this was a punishment for having sex more marriage), so I went to a Christian-based pyschologist who basically told me it was :( In her words "it's not a punishment, but it is an admonishment and you need to repent for your sins and then you'll feel better."

Needless to say I've basically cried non-stop for the past week and a half :(

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purplegoddess8591

my dear u r not being punished. u did nothing wrong. ur human and everyone loves sex. keep in midn ur not alone and take ease in knowing that ur sadness and feelings will subside over time. u r not a bad person and u deserve to be happy.

RG is right, has nothing to do with deserving or being punsihed, but everything to do with the luck of the draw. its just life hunnie. nothing you did

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purplegoddess8591

p.s.

i have had a lot of casual sex and ive never been married. ive never caught an std and all ive caught was the cold sore virus which was through a kiss. and thats supposed to be the innocent stuff:)

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I was having the same feelings (wondering if this was a punishment for having sex more marriage), so I went to a Christian-based pyschologist who basically told me it was :( In her words "it's not a punishment, but it is an admonishment and you need to repent for your sins and then you'll feel better."

There are a number of members here who contracted herpes from their marriage partner, who was their only intimate partner, within the marriage.

So somebody explain to me how we are going to rationalize what those folks did to "deserve" it? And what exactly should they be repenting for?

Seriously. That's a bunch of hooey (most polite term I can muster) in my opinion.

It amazes me how some of these so-called counselors and other professionals use guilt in their practices.

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purplegoddess8591

im sorry but i grew up in catholic school from age 4 to 17 and catholics are the biggest bunch of hypocrites there are. wtf kinda crap is that? if there is a god doesnt the catholic faith preach that god loves all his children and that he doesnt judge us?

remember ur taking advice from someone whom follows the faith that condemns homosexual relations, while the higher ups are molesting little boys

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I was having the same feelings (wondering if this was a punishment for having sex more marriage), so I went to a Christian-based pyschologist who basically told me it was :( In her words "it's not a punishment, but it is an admonishment and you need to repent for your sins and then you'll feel better."

Needless to say I've basically cried non-stop for the past week and a half :(

I have definitely felt that way... that I'm being punished for my actions.

I agree with the psychologist on ONLY ONE thing... if you feel you've done something wrong, ask God to forgive you. The Bible says that if you as for fogivness, God will cast your "sin" as far as the east is from the west... never to be recalled by Him again. I agree that doing that should make you feel better. Otherwise, she's an idiot. (sorry, makes me mad)

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  • 1 month later...

I've read a few of your posts, heff. I don't agree with many of them, but the one you had here before ---- well, I did.

Herpes is not a punishment for pre-marital sex. If it were, why would a "just God" not hand that punishment out to EVERY person who has had sex prior to marriage? Hmmmmm???

It is a virus. Humans get viruses. All animal species get viruses. For what are dogs and deer and raccoons and lions and bears being punished when they get the viruses to which they are prone? Hmmmmm???

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In the natural law, it is the natural outcome of the chances we take in modern society. Yes, if everyone stayed a virgin before marriage and remain monogamous, no Herpes wouldn't be a problem.

I am a Catholic, raised Traditional Catholic, and we were taught that God is all merciful and all justice. So it maybe a punishment, but it could be a mercy too, a call to reality if we caught this at least it wasn't somethig WORSE. So now we are more careful.

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In the natural law, it is the natural outcome of the chances we take in modern society. Yes, if everyone stayed a virgin before marriage and remain monogamous, no Herpes wouldn't be a problem.

I am a Catholic, raised Traditional Catholic, and we were taught that God is all merciful and all justice. So it maybe a punishment, but it could be a mercy too, a call to reality if we caught this at least it wasn't somethig WORSE. So now we are more careful.

Many married monogamous people have herpes. Many people contract HSV1 orally from non sexual contact as children, so being a virgin doesn't make any difference.

The God I believe in didn't punish me with herpes, my God gave me free will to make own choices.

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..my ex (who gave it to me) came over the other day because i had worked myself up into a hysterical fit over this :/ and, as usual, he gave me lots of hugs and said lots of things that made me feel better.. but the cutest part was when he looked at my adorable puppy playing on the ground next to the couch and said, "Man I just feel so bad for her!" and I got all worried and asked "Why?!" and he goes, "Well, if she ends up having puppies.. that means that she had sex before marriage.. and by your logic that'll mean that God doesn't love her. I'm just really sad she won't get to go to heaven." HAHA :) that really made me laugh but also kinda put things in perspective.. just thought it was cute and wanted to share :)

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..my ex (who gave it to me) came over the other day because i had worked myself up into a hysterical fit over this :/ and, as usual, he gave me lots of hugs and said lots of things that made me feel better.. but the cutest part was when he looked at my adorable puppy playing on the ground next to the couch and said, "Man I just feel so bad for her!" and I got all worried and asked "Why?!" and he goes, "Well, if she ends up having puppies.. that means that she had sex before marriage.. and by your logic that'll mean that God doesn't love her. I'm just really sad she won't get to go to heaven." HAHA :) that really made me laugh but also kinda put things in perspective.. just thought it was cute and wanted to share :)

Wow never thought of it that way before! Does put things in perspective doesn't it?

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  • 3 weeks later...

<this is probably a little late .. just wanted to share> I'am 20years old just finishing up my last year of community college and looking forward to obtaining my first degree. Three months ago my whole world turned up-side-down. I found out i have genital herpes!! Prior to this discovery i was living the college student life . Parties, drinking, smoking, sex< i only had one sex partner at the time> hanging out with all the wrong people. Although i never really had a strong spiritual relationship with God left the church sceen at 13, just confused about everything, but i knew he existed <or atleast believed in him> During my first semester in college i decided to get closer with God and build a relationship with him. I joined the school gospel choir and it was probably the best thing i couldve did. I was doing good for a while . But my old life kept catching up with me and ill leave and come back leave and come back. Finally i let in to the bad life , i liked the fun better. but God would not let me go my life didnt seem rite and at last i went back i stopped smoking, i stopped drinking, stopped cursing and partying. The hardest thing was letting go of the sex. i could not do it . and as much as i felt it was wrong i couldnt stop. so He started showing me things and speaking to me. I would not listen. and i continued to have sex and one bad habit attracts the rest and before i knew it i was planning on giving up on the choir ... <note i dont attend church> this was church for me this was what brought me back to him yet i had been distracted ... about a few days later i got my first OB.<thats another story> long story short this disease has been an eye opener for me i have been so distracted from God, from school, family , from all the things that matter. I'm greatful and i dont see this as a punishment more or less .. this is one more thing that i have to endure and overcome . I think of the many children who suffer from HIV and AIDS and cancer , all diseases they could not possibly control. Just recently i discovered a man on youtube that was homless for two years while he battled cancer, HIV, and sickle cells and after he overcame all that he now spends his time giving back to the homless by donating and reaching out truly amazing man. But to answer your question , yes at first i felt like this was punishment for sin , now i look at it differently .. :)

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