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i noticed a small red bump near my penis a few days ago. i thought it was an in-grown hair, but i still had my concerns. i recently started dating a girl a little over a month ago and we started having sex around 2 weeks into the relationship. before her, the last time i had sex was 3 to 4 months prior.

she said the last time she had sex was with another boyfriend close to a month before we got together. she got a really bad UTI a few days afterward and immediately got an std screening. it came back negative.

we had been having sex for close to 2 weeks before i noticed the bump. the same day that i noticed the red bump, she came down with flu-like symptoms.

i really like this girl and things are going great. could i have given herpes to her, or is it more likely that she gave it to me? not that it really matters, but i'm stressing really bad right now. also, how do i break the news to her? while we haven't been dating long, we have incredibly strong feelings for each other. it's not as if we're teenagers in puppy love. i'm 21 and she's 23. i just don't want to lose her.

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no expert...

I am very new to this, so I cant give you expert advice, but in my case, i got flu-like symptoms for 2 days THEN I got an OB. I think the two of you should get tested for HSV as soon as possible and in the meantime just avoid sexual contact. You must be torturing yourself by not knowing, so I say better to fess up and get tested than not. And who knows, it may not be HSV, but it could be that or something else.......

you need to be responsible about this sort of thing. I wish the person I got it from had been.

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