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sisyphus

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I am not one that has been prone to depression but this recent diagnosis has effected me in two elemental ways that have got me so down I have barely eaten in 5 days, can"t sleep, and I walk around like the living dead. One, i must now come to terms with this and learn to live with it. Two, and the most emotionally devestating, is losing the girl of my dreams because of this. The hardest part of dealing with Herpes is questioning yourself if this reaction from girls is a foretelling of the rest of your life. that is a burden I cannot bare. throwing out a rope.

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I would tell you that the feelings you are having right now are all totally normal at this point. Almost everyone seems to have them.

And you are right, you must come to terms and live with this challenge, just like you would with any other change that comes into your life.

I'm sorry you have apparently lost that gal you care about. That is something many of us can sympathize with, including those of us who don't have herpes. It happens. It sucks. It feels like shit. It seems like the end of the world. And it happens with and without herpes in the equation. Relationships fail all the time.

I think at the end there you are basically asking whether or not all girls in your future will reject you because of herpes. The answer is a clear "no."

There are many couples here with one partner who has herpes and the other who doesn't. I'm one of those. Have faith that you will find a girl who will see you for who you are. You are not herpes. Herpes is just a hitchhiker in your body that many, many other humans also have.

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loss...I feel your pain. I have been here for 5 months now, and it's getting easier. I haven't had to tell anyone, yet, as far as dates go. I dread it. I think I am going to have to very soon. As far as depression and sleeplessness...I have issues now, too. I'm feeling pretty hopeless most of the time and have had to be medicated for high blood pressure (probably because of the emotional stress this has caused) and given Ambien to sleep. It IS getting better, though. I don't cry all the time any more.

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Sisyphus,

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time right now. Give yourself the time you need to grieve, and eventually you will start to feel better, one day at a time. I was diagnosed about a week ago, and I did almost the opposite of what you did-all I wanted to do was sleep, eat, and drink wine. I couldn't even cry. Yesterday was my first day back at work (I'm a nurse) and I found it very difficult to concentrate and take care of my patients. Today, however, the sun is back out, my coffee tastes good, and I'm feeling a little better. You will, too, I promise.

As for other girls in your future, I had the same thoughts about other men in mine...I want so badly one day to fall in love, get married, have children, and you may want all of these same things. We can have it, I promise. One of these days there will be a girl who loves you SO much, and wants you SO much, that she will be willing to learn about herpes and accept it as one small part of a wonderful package-you.

Hope this isn't too mushy, but I also speak the truth. You will be okay.

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