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Feeling real crappy


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I am a man recently diagnosed. My ex-girlfriend decided to tell me she had herpes after we slept together. Awesome. Just looking for some help because for the last 6 months there is not a minute that passes where I don't think about herpes. It kind of feels weird being here. I'm grateful for this site but at the same time I wish more than anything that I weren't here. I mean that in the nicest way possible

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Were you officially diagnosed via blood test or swab? If you sleep with someone who has it, it does not mean you will automatically get it. It is harder for guys to get it from girls than vice versa. And since she knew she had it, hopefully she was taking medications to help prevent transmission.

Even if you do have it, it is really no big deal. I have had it a number of years and it means nothing to my. It has not stopped me from doing anything or anyone I wanted.

There is a support group in your area, www.bayareafriends.org. If they have support meetings I urge you to go. The support group here in the ATL really helped me out. It was nice seeing other, normal, people there with it.

Come to the Chat Room, there you will find many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!


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Dear Domad,

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I know what it feels like to be betrayed. I'm convinced that my ex-boyfriend gave me herpes, but because he won't answer any of my messages or calls, I may never really know. You are not alone, and you probably know that. I think about my diagnosis all the time, too, but it helps to read other people's posts and hear their stories of success. Hopefully you will feel better soon.

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Domad, sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. I was literally diagnosed this past week and as much as it's hard to deal with, I know that it is not the end of the world. People are cruel and those who know that they have it yet are spreading it deserve to be alone for the rest of their lives. Please know that you are not alone. 25% of people have this disease. You will get through this but just need to stay strong!

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I was diagnosed this month as well.. and I literally don't think about anything else. I think the worst part is not knowing everything.. like not knowing when an outbreak will happen and not knowing triggers and also not knowing what your sex life will be like from now on.

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Throwaway765 yes that all makes sense and you’ve pretty well reached the right conclusions except for a very significant fact!! You are right, receiving genital HSV-2 from oral sex is unheard of, just not feasible given how people have it and whether it actually sheds in infectious quantities or not. Safely rule this out. Now HSV-1; once you have this as you do orally, you have immunity against infection anywhere else on the body, it is also not feasible.  The symptoms you describe are also not related to herpes in the absence of lesions.
    • NewInNebr
      Newly diagnosed, looking for people to connect with in Nebraska, Lincoln even better 
    • Throwaway765
      Thanks for your response! I received unprotected oral 10 weeks ago and immediately after had stinging in my glans and weird nerve pain. I am positive for HSV1 due to cold sores I got as a child, but as recent as 9 weeks after this exposure have tested negative for HSV2.    im nervous that I may have acquired hsv1 again on my genitals since HSV2 is rarely acquired from oral sex and doesn’t shed hardly at all, but haven’t seen any sores yet. Just weird symptoms and this started recently in my buttcrack when I was taking antibiotics.   Any advice or perspective would be greatly appreciated. @WilsoInAus
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Throwaway765 and welcome. There is absolutely no concern over this being related to herpes. Something must be concerning you as to the possibility of herpes… what is it? 
    • Throwaway765
      @CHTany thoughts? Thanks!
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