Feeling So Good Thru It All....

[AnaBella]

You all just don't know how good I'm feeling right now to have found this forum. I was diagnosed a little over a year ago and am just now coming to terms (somewhat). I am in my early 30's and have been married for 6 yrs. This came as a complete and total shock and shook my very foundation...not just that of my being but that of my marriage as well. I went to the dr for what I thought was a simple "female" infection. When she told me she wanted to test me for Herpes...it was like everything was moving in slow motion. Since then I've had alot of downs but also just as many ups. But we all know how that goes...we seem to hold onto the downs more than the ups when we are going through a storm. Most days are good now but the times when it seems like I back to back OB's b/c everything seems to be a trigger, I feel like I can't breathe on my own on those days. Only 2 of my friends know about this situation and one of them also has Herpes but I don't want to stress her out with my questions b/c she's going through so much right now. So tonight when I was just looking up some general info and found this...I couldn't have been happier. Through my faith, the support of my husband and now this forum...I feel brightened.

[d00m kitty]

Hi & welcome to the group AnaBella & yep this forum is fabulous!! Lot's of great info on the right hand side. You can join chat now that's you posted 3 times.

Is your hubby negative to herpes?

My hubby has stood by & supported me, which is more amazing cos I actually cheated on him. The wonderful members on here have supported me too.............

[fistoffury]

Welcome, I am new here as well

[norcallove]

Hi AnaBella! Welcome to this site. I am newly diagnosed, and found this site less than 2 weeks ago. I am SO happy I found it. It has amazing information and supportive people on it.

Hi fistoffurry - welcome as well

[AnaBella]

Thanks for the Welcome & yes my husband tested positive as well. After mine came back he went a week later and it was the same outcome as his. From day one he has been here for me and the dr told us that it's impossible for us to figure out who passed what. I asked him if he'd ever cheated and he said no and I trust him and I've never cheated on him so that was the end of that conversation...the next step was to decide how we were going to cope. It seemed to affect him for all of a week then it was back to football, the remote, and tv:-) I on the other hand took it alot hard. My self-esteem was the biggest hit. That's why I'm so glad I found this site...I don't feel alone anymore. I'm so looking forward to getting to know you all! There's absolutely nothing better than support!

[d00m kitty]

Hi AnaBella, it actually helps that you both have it cos you don't have to worry about 1 of you being + and the other being neg. This place will certainly help to keep you grounded & positive, you'll be ok, especially with the support of your hubby too. hugs xx

[Amberj]

AnaBella,

Your situation sounds so much like mine! I am newly diagnosed (about a month ago) and am in my early thirties and have been married for 6 years and have two kids. I thought I just had a yeast infection, but much to my surprise....you know the rest. My husband is very supportive and it doesn't seem to bother him at all, but it really bothers me. You sound so positive. I am trying to be more positive but some days it is so hard! I am just trying to focus on my family and my career instead of thinking about this all of the time. This site has been so helpful to me.

[naj3314]

AnnaBella,

I wouldnt even worry about who gave it to who. I had HSV-2 for quite some time and never had symptoms. Finally the symptoms came to be and i have no idea when i got them. Luckily i didnt sleep around so there were very few people i needed to contact. Positive support helps out a lot but so does being knowledgeable. I was taking it extremely hard for the first couple weeks i was diagnosed but once i dived into the statistics, treatments, factual information about herpes it helped a lot. It is less of a horrible thing and more of an inconvenience. Dealing with the stigma is probably the hardest part. Since you have a husband and he too is positive then the hardest part of contract HSV is null and void. Best of luck to you. Get to know the true disease that you have and i am sure it will take a little weight off your chest.

[Sunshine2you]

I am so glad that so many people have found comfort in this forum, because I have, too. I am living on my own, far away from my family, and I was just diagnosed a week ago....soon after finding out that my ex-boyfriend, who I loved and trusted, had been very dishonest with me about his sexual adventures. I was devastated and felt so alone, so I did the only thing I could do.....research and searching the net. So glad I found this site with all of these wonderful people! Welcome to the new people, and thank you to the others who consistently life me up with your posts and replies.

[AnaBella]

Amberj,

Same here. I try to focus on my family and not just getting thru each day but truly trying to enjoy each day. I realized after I was diagnosed that I had spent so much time before then dwelling on issues that really weren't worth my time and being bothered over things that I just view now as silly. I've often wished that I hadn't spent that time being like that. For months it was like I was in a haze but just recently something happened...I can't explain it, I'm just ready to move on with my life. I've given it a yr too much. Now that doesn't mean I don't have my down moments but I try my hardest not to dwell or wallow in it. And I'm glad to see that others on here are so supportive. If you keep focusing on the positive you won't have time for any of the negative.

[Sunshine2you]

How true it is, AnaBella, that having this diagnosis puts things in perspective! My sister has always told me that things happen for a reason, and while she feels terrible that I contracted herpes, she believes that this experience will help me grow and actually learn to love and respect myself more. I'm in my early 30's, and it seems as if I'm the only one in my group of friends who is not married, or who doesn't have a new baby (two things I have wanted for SO long). I haven't been with many partners, and while they were all nice, respectable guys (for the most part, and I'm not including my recent ex), none of them were really great boyfriends. Because I had gotten physically involved with them so soon into the relationship, my major focus was sex, and somehow I equated sex with the idea of these men loving me....big mistake. Now that I have herpes, I am obviously not going to be jumping into bed with anyone too quickly. I will spend a lot of time getting to know my future boyfriend/husband very well and will definitely tell him about my diagnosis as soon as I see our relationship heading in a sexual direction. Knowing me, I will only seek out men who I feel are going to be kind to me and love me for who I am, herpes and all. Then, hopefully by the time we finally have sex, I will already have fallen in love with him for who he is as a person....and the relationship won't be based on sex.

I hope I can find someone one day for me who is just as kind and supportive as your husband. You, and the others who have responded to this thread, have given me hope. Thank you for your candor!

[naj3314]

Sunshine,

Just make sure that you dont put off the "talk" for too long. Falling in love can happen quickly. It did in my current relationship an my gf could care less that i have herpes. Good people are out there.

[Amberj]

Thank you AnaBella! Such great advice. I have already wasted nights going to bed at 6:00 because I couldn't think about it anymore, but it is getting better each day. There are so many more important things to think about than this. I am going to try to be positive!!