Personal question...not sure which forum this belongs in.

[Audra]

Ok. Assuming I got genital hsv2 from my boyfriend there were no signs of outbreak. My question is now that I have the virus can I give him oral sex (without a condom) will I get blisters in my mouth?

From what I'm reading it seems like if I have it genitally that is where my outbreaks are going to be, but there are so many scenarios I'm confused.

Any information is appreciated.

[d00m kitty]

Hi Audra

Has your bf been tested for herpes? If not, it would be a very good idea for him to have a blood test for herpes & to have it typed ie. find out if he actually has type 1 or type 2. Without an actual OB, you're not going to know where the exact location of the herpes is, whether it's oral - mouth, or genital.

If he has HSV2 it most probably means it's genital [can be oral though] and yes you could end up with oral HSV2. It's rare, but does happen. Or alternatively if he has HSV1, you could end up with oral HSV1, which would be much easier to catch, since HSV1 prefers to be oral.

You really need to know if he has herpes at all. How long have you two been together?

And yes, if you have it genitally, that will be where you have your outbreaks. I hope the above makes things a little clearer?

hugs

Kez

xx

[Audra]

He doesn't know what strain. He told me he had it orally but claims he has never had a genital outbreak. His doctor told him to wait until he has an outbreak to swab to get tested instead of paying for the blood test that can identify the strain.

So now it's really clear as mud. Haha. Makes me sad to think I won't ever be able to do that without a condom.

My outbreak happened exactly within the 2 - 14 day window after sleeping with him unprotected so...pretty certain he has it.

[RealisticGal]

As d00m kitty said, oral HSV2 is possible. There are folks here who have it. But it is considered (by the experts) to be the least likely possibility.

How did you find out that you have herpes?

I know you said you had an outbreak. So I guess they swabbed and cultured that? Did you also get a type specific IgG-based blood test done? And did it show up positive only for HSV2?

The reason I ask is because there is a very good chance you might already have HSV1 (orally). If you do, that would make it a lot less likely for you to contract HSV2 on top of that (orally).

Here's a good article that addresses the similarities and differences between the two types, as well as talks about the likelihood of getting each type in each location (last section).

Good Virus/Bad Virus

For what it's worth, I have been giving my guy oral pleasure without a condom. I am with you on that. It would be like chewing on a raw octopus, so no thanks.

[Audra]

How did I find out? I had a horrific outbreak. Even the doctor told me several times it was bad especially inside. Go big or go home right?

So she swabbed and plucked and pulled everything inside and out which was SUPER fun and then it came back as being HSV2. I guess I don't know if I have the HSV1 although last June they did a blood test because I was freaked out and everything came back negative.

RealisticGal: what is the situation with you and your boyfriend HSV wise? Who has what and where etc... Raw octopus! LOL! Yes and I hate the smell of latex so...yeah.

[RealisticGal]

How did I find out? I had a horrific outbreak. Even the doctor told me several times it was bad especially inside. Go big or go home right?

So she swabbed and plucked and pulled everything inside and out which was SUPER fun and then it came back as being HSV2. I guess I don't know if I have the HSV1 although last June they did a blood test because I was freaked out and everything came back negative.

Oh, my! The images you conjure!

Well, if you already had a type specific IgG-based blood test last June, you probably don't have HSV1 orally. I guess there isn't much point in testing for that again.

Not having oral HSV1 makes it slightly more likely you could get HSV2 orally, but it is still a low probability. The HSV2 antibodies from the genital infection now give you a higher resistance to getting it orally, for one thing.

RealisticGal: what is the situation with you and your boyfriend HSV wise? Who has what and where etc... Raw octopus! LOL! Yes and I hate the smell of latex so...yeah.

The situation is that he got genital HSV2 over 5 years ago. He has minimal outbreaks, less than 1/year.

He told me about it because it seemed we were heading towards intimacy. I researched herpes and decided I was okay with the possibilities. I got baseline blood testing and (to my surprise, actually) came back negative for both HSV1 and HSV2.

So he has a genital infection and I have nothing. We have been intimate since (a few months now) and I do give him unprotected oral attention. No squeaky, chewy tentacles for me!

I actually figure that if I get oral HSV2 that would be sort of the best case scenario (other than getting nothing), as it would be the least likely to have frequent recurrences, and would then provide me some antibody protection against a genital infection.

[dinki]

exact scenario

Hi Audra im glad u asked this question cos i have the exact same scenario. i was with my bf for about 7months and then 2 days after we had unprotected sex bam i had the works just like u and my doc said its likely i just got it from him. Anywayz i was diagnosed with GHSV2 i had him go tested and he said also they told him he had oral herpes! like he was so clueless about if it was oral HSV1 or oral HSV2 and hes so reluctant to go back and get tested/typed cos its money wasted according to him! so we r both also in the dark about what to do with protection and stuff... i dont want him to get GHSV2 genitally if he has OHSV2 and say thats how i got it(cos he's quite generous with oral sex) neither do i want to get OHSV2 orally either!!! this has put a damper on our sex life:(

Maybe you could respond to this realistic girl thanks!

[RealisticGal]

Hi Audra im glad u asked this question cos i have the exact same scenario. i was with my bf for about 7months and then 2 days after we had unprotected sex bam i had the works just like u and my doc said its likely i just got it from him. Anywayz i was diagnosed with GHSV2 i had him go texted and he said also they told him he had oral herpes! like he was so clueless about if it was oral HSV1 or oral HSV2 and hes so reluctant to go back and get tested/typed cos its money wasted according to him! so we r both also in the dark about what to do with protection and stuff... i dont want him to get GHSV2 genitally if he has OHSV2 and say thats how i got it(cos he's quite generous with oral sex) neither do i want to get OHSV2 orally either!!! this has put a damper on our sex life:(

Maybe you could respond to this realistic girl thanks!

It seems to me (JMO) that he needs to be tested/typed so you will both know what you are dealing with, and what precautions are needed/appropriate.

If it is putting a damper on your sex life, I'd think he would want to run quick like a bunny to get those tests done!!!

[dinki]

well...

it took hell to get him to even go get tested the first time i got an outbreak...and he keeps telling me and when he got a blood test he told me he had hsv and i asked what type and he said "i already told you i have the oral one" and he obviously doesnt seem to care if he gets the genital one from me cos he keeps trying to have sex! At this point im about to give in and deal with what comes next cos i personally feel i got the GHSV2 from him and he just doesnt know it! i mean what else could explain me showing symptoms literally 2 days after we did it. he might be one of those people that are asymptomatic or sumn:confused:

[RealisticGal]

it took hell to get him to even go get tested the first time i got an outbreak...and he keeps telling me and when he got a blood test he told me he had hsv and i asked what type and he said "i already told you i have the oral one" and he obviously doesnt seem to care if he gets the genital one from me cos he keeps trying to have sex! At this point im about to give in and deal with what comes next cos i personally feel i got the GHSV2 from him and he just doesnt know it! i mean what else could explain me showing symptoms literally 2 days after we did it. he might be one of those people that are asymptomatic or sumn:confused:

So then the damper on your sex life is entirely on your side, because you are worried about him getting genital herpes?

He isn't worried about it at all?

You know, it's possible you got it before him, even with the timing of your primary outbreak. But it is a real good chance you are right and got it from him.

If you want to talk about whether he will blame you and get mad if he doesn't have it now, then gets it from you, will he be willing to talk?

[dinki]

i dont know

So then the damper on your sex life is entirely on your side, because you are worried about him getting genital herpes?

He isn't worried about it at all?

You know, it's possible you got it before him, even with the timing of your primary outbreak. But it is a real good chance you are right and got it from him.

If you want to talk about whether he will blame you and get mad if he doesn't have it now, then gets it from you, will he be willing to talk?

Well yea im definitely worried about giving it to him. i think he's worried but then also i think he doesnt understand the concept of GHSV1 or GHSV2 after all he doesnt show any symptoms tho he feels he has herpes regardless so not point finding what type...

But here's my question if i got it before him and somehow showed no signs of it until now after being with him, then when he did a blood test why didnt he show as positive meaning i gave it to him...i just dont know what to believe my doc said i prob got it from him....im just gonna ask him to get his test results maybe it'll make more sense then!

[Audra]

Same stuff going on here dinki...I feel like since the bf's aren't worried about it maybe they knew they had it genitally already. But I'm going do I want this in my mouth too? Or am I kind of immune in the mouth bc I have it down below? Soooo many scenarios with the 1 and the 2 and oral and genital.

Realistic gal: I am curious if you are still negative for both viruses? And is your bf on valtrex? Mine is not. He has the acyclovir (spelling?) rx for his oral stuff (uh-huh) and doesn't take it unless he feels coldsores coming on. My doc said that valtrex helps with not spreading the virus so was wondering if yours was on it and if mine should get on it to keep me from getting in my mouth?

If only we didn't like the sex.... =)

[dinki]

unsure...

Yea Audra im not sure why they are not concerned...my bf and i finally had sex after a month of holding off and its been two days now since we did it and he's not showing any symptoms even though it took me 2 days to show symptoms! at this point i believe he's one of the asymptomatic genital herpes carriers that can pass it on and not show any symptoms regardless..

Realiatic girl i tried to get a blood test and the nurse told me it was pointless as i would have already seroconverted; thus i would have antibodies already! is this true? i hear a lot of people on this forum saying it takes 8 weeks for antibodies to show or sumtin its barely 4 weeks since i was diagnosed??? am i misunderstanding this blood test thing?

[RealisticGal]

Realiatic girl i tried to get a blood test and the nurse told me it was pointless as i would have already seroconverted; thus i would have antibodies already! is this true? i hear a lot of people on this forum saying it takes 8 weeks for antibodies to show or sumtin its barely 4 weeks since i was diagnosed??? am i misunderstanding this blood test thing?

It sounds to me like you might be misunderstanding some of what that nurse said. Not sure.

I disagree with her that a blood test is pointless. If you have not seroconverted yet (formed antibodies to HSV), then the test will show negative results. If you have seroconverted, it will show a positive number and can be typed (HSV1 versus HSV2). Getting the type of your infection can be useful information, so I don't consider the blood tests pointless.

It does take a different amount of time for each individual person to seroconvert, because we each have our own unique immune system that reacts at its own speed.

You are at least 4 weeks in, so there is a good chance you have seroconverted. However, some folks can take as much as 16 weeks or so to seroconvert.

Anyway...the only reason I can see for her to say it is "pointless" is if your intent is to use the blood test to determine when you actually acquired herpes. In that case, I agree with her, though maybe for a different reason.

I personally do not put much faith in the whole idea of trying to determine time of acquisition from the lab tests. Herpes is pretty sneaky with the dormancy factor. If you have never had a herpes blood test prior to this that was negative, it is really difficult to pinpoint with much accuracy (IMO).

If what you want to do is figure out when you got it, so you can put the blame on someone, that does seem pointless to me. There is no absolute certainty with that method, and it just leads to the blame game.

(I'm not saying that's what you want to do, but some folks do, and maybe that is what the nurse is thinking...)

The one way I might trust is if you get a positive swab, but a negative blood test. In that case, I believe you can say with some degree of certainty that your infection is "new." But there is still some wiggle room in that, since the blood test may not be able to detect antibodies for even as long as 16 weeks.

So your "new" infection could be at least 4 to 6 months old. Or it might be a lot newer. It really is not an accurate means of determining timing for a lot of folks, especially if they have had multiple partners in a time frame of a year or so.

One thing I do know is that the University of Washington did a study on the Herpeselect test, to determine how long it usually takes for antibodies to be detectable using that particular test. The results are that the median time is 21 days for HSV2 to be detectable, and 25 days for HSV1 to be detectable.

However, that is just the median time. It does take longer for many folks, which is why it is often necessary to repeat the blood tests.

I know, it's all a bit complicated and confusing...

So anyway, my thought is that without a recent negative blood test for herpes, it is very difficult to use a blood test to determine who/when precisely.

[RealisticGal]

But here's my question if i got it before him and somehow showed no signs of it until now after being with him, then when he did a blood test why didnt he show as positive meaning i gave it to him...i just dont know what to believe my doc said i prob got it from him....im just gonna ask him to get his test results maybe it'll make more sense then!

I'm sorry, hon...I don't understand your question. I apologize for being confused.

[dinki]

Oh no that's fine...i think im done trying to understand anything..i have the virus thats all that matters!

with regards to my question i guess i was wondering why my boyfriend didnt show as positive for hsv 2 but then again i dont know if he was tested for both hsv 1 and hsv 2 all he told me was that he was positive for hsv 1.

And yes the nurse did tell me it was pointless to get a test now considering its been 4 weeks as she said i would have seroconverted. On the other hand i had never had a herpes test done but once my doc saw me the first time i came in with symptoms she said " this is probably your first outbreak, u were probably just exposed" so i guess its just confusing that sometimes the virus can be latent and not show and other times it can show once youre infected...

[RealisticGal]

with regards to my question i guess i was wondering why my boyfriend didnt show as positive for hsv 2 but then again i dont know if he was tested for both hsv 1 and hsv 2 all he told me was that he was positive for hsv 1.

And yes the nurse did tell me it was pointless to get a test now considering its been 4 weeks as she said i would have seroconverted. On the other hand i had never had a herpes test done but once my doc saw me the first time i came in with symptoms she said " this is probably your first outbreak, u were probably just exposed" so i guess its just confusing that sometimes the virus can be latent and not show and other times it can show once youre infected...

Can you just ask him what test he had? And for sure that he does not have HSV2?

I totally disagree with the nurse. It seems like she is not well-versed in herpes. JMO Maybe it is just that she is trying to say that a blood test won't necessarily pinpoint when (from whom) you got herpes, and if that is all she means, then I agree. But I think blood tests are a good thing to do, nonetheless.

Yes, the latency factor makes herpes a sneaky little bastard of a virus, and it's why those who are hung up on knowing how/from whom/when they got it are often disappointed.