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Diagnosed Yesterday but not sure to believe the nurse.


panda28

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Hello :)

I've been "diagnosed" yesterday for herpes. Since last week, I noticed cuts on my perineum, then they got itchy, then blisters... I haven't been sleeping well and I'm incredibly depressed at the fact that I wasted an entire week laying in bed instead of studying for my final exams next week.

I went in yesterday at the student health clinic at my school and the nurse examined me and said it's definitely gotta be herpes. She then took samples of the blisters and prescribed me Acyclovir. Unfortunately, I don't have the test results back. They wont be back for 2 weeks... WTF? So now, I'm sitting here wondering if I actually do have it or not... I told my boyfriend immediately and he has been doing research. He's been very supportive and is trying to tell me that he wants to stay with me, even if it means that he will get the disease also.

I'm not really sure how I feel about giving a disease to someone I love. I would feel so incredibly guilty and selfish... If I do end up testing positive for herpes, that means I can't have a carefree sex life with him, or even kiss him without passing it on to him. I'm not really sure how to handle everything, because he is the one that I want to be with.

Sadly, that is the biggest concern of mine at the moment. That was the reason I even cried. I wasn't even distraught when the nurse told me it was "Definitely" herpes. Maybe it will sink in soon?

I haven't had any problems or outbreaks while I was with my boyfriend... which has been a year now... Last month, I did have an encounter with another woman that is a mutual friend of my gay girlfriends. My first "experience" with another woman, and I think she gave me herpes... JUST MY LUCK. I know it's not the end of the world, and I know that A LOT of people have it... But I feel so guilty and hopeless. Just like some other posts I've read on the forums, I don't think I can give a "talk" to the other people I end up dating throughout my life (hopefully I won't have to, if everything works out with my current boyfriend and I get over my guilt). They say that you have to deal with reject no matter what, and people aren't worthy of your love if they can't accept the fact that you have herpes. But honestly, I don't see why anyone would want to catch a lifelong disease just for a relationship. And what if someone does reject you, then TELLS everyone that you have herpes. That would be so embarrassing because people see herpes as a horrible thing, that it's disgusting.

I'm not sure where to go from here. I guess I have to wait 2 weeks. And until those two weeks are here, I'm going to avoid kissing my boyfriend or getting too close... I'm too paranoid that I will give it to him (assuming I do have it) and that he will have to deal with the consequences of this disease.

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As far as kissing your bf goes, unless you're also exhibiting symptoms of oral herpes (cold sores), you can kiss him til your lips swell up, and you won't give him your genital herpes. The only way he'll get that is through direct contact with your 'nethers'. So, although traditional sex seems to be off the menu for a little while, you can still kiss him, hug him, and even perform oral on him, without worrying about transmission until your test results come back.

Don't panic. If you do have herpes, except for the emotional/phsychological anvil that smacks you in the forehead for a while, your life won't change all that much. If your bf isn't worried about it, you shouldn't be either. It's his decision to make, and men contract it from women far less than women do from men. Fewer 'nooks and crannies', you know. I've had it for a few years now (got it from the love of my life) and it hasn't slowed us down at all, if you know what I mean. :yeahbabyyeah:

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Has your boyfriend been tested?

Since you have been with him a year at this point, there is certainly a chance you got it from him instead of the woman.

In any case, he ought to get tested so you will have a baseline of his status. And bravo to him for seeing herpes for what it is, and recognizing that it doesn't change who you are.

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Thank you so much for the replies :) yes, my boyfriend actually has his blood tested every week because his immune system actually fights his body and he almost died 3 years ago because of it. So, the doctors have to check his blood for everything in case his body tries to kill itself again.

I guess my concern is that I also kissed the woman. This was consented by my boyfriend, btw. I was questioning my sexuality and he said it was my right to experiment and figure out what it is that I like. So, I was not cheating on him.

Anyway... I have been kissing him and we had sex the night before the cuts appeared and I think the cuts appeared because of the position we were in during sex. I think maybe I stretched the skin too far and therefore got the cuts... which may have led to the blisters from maybe scratching at night... That's why I'm hoping that the test comes out negative, but the nurse took one look and said "Yeah, I'm sorry but I'm 99.99% sure that's herpes." I called the health center today and another nurse called me back and goes "Did Nurse ____ say that it looked like herpes?.... Then it is." and I was just so sad.

I'm really grateful that he has been doing research and trying to find answers for what I'm experiencing. He keeps saying he feels bad and that things would be so much easier if he had it too. I just don't wanna imagine what it would feel like for him to get an outbreak.

I will hope for the best. I keep thinking to myself about good things that can come from this... and I came up with the idea that my best friend can no longer steal my food/drinks from me if I do end up having it :)

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Anyway... I have been kissing him and we had sex the night before the cuts appeared and I think the cuts appeared because of the position we were in during sex. I think maybe I stretched the skin too far and therefore got the cuts... which may have led to the blisters from maybe scratching at night... That's why I'm hoping that the test comes out negative, but the nurse took one look and said "Yeah, I'm sorry but I'm 99.99% sure that's herpes." I called the health center today and another nurse called me back and goes "Did Nurse ____ say that it looked like herpes?.... Then it is." and I was just so sad.

Well, okay. That is just too bad that the nurse told you that, because it is total BS.

Visual exam is the least accurate means of diagnosing herpes. It is notoriously unreliable. Even "experts" can make mistakes because herpes is such a chameleon. It can look like many other conditions, and vice versa. That's why the Centers for Disease Control states that suspicions based on visual examination should always be confirmed by actual lab tests.

The bit about your boyfriend's immune system is interesting. I take it he has some sort of autoimmune disorder. I have to wonder if, with a condition like that, part of the problem might be that he does not mount a good immune response. What I'm saying is, he might be among the minority of folks who do not ever form antibodies, but could have herpes (and still be able to pass it along). I guess that's neither here nor there. There is no way to know, and of course you would not want to pass it to him if he doesn't already have it.

Anyway, all you can do now is wait for those results. I'm glad the nurse was not so arrogant as to not do them. Whew!

:nurse:

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Luckily, we got to talk to my boyfriend's doctor and he said that the blood tests would show up if he had already contracted it. I'm not sure with the specifics of my boyfriend's medical problems.

I just got off the phone with my boyfriend and he has already accepted the fact that he will contract it by staying with me. Although the test results aren't back yet, I am completely amazed at how he has made that decision so confidently. I'm going to respect it and continue my life, regardless of how everything turns out :)

This outbreak does not seem to be getting better though :( I can't even leave my house for long periods of time because of the intense pain of going to the bathroom. I feel like it is controlling my life right now.

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This outbreak does not seem to be getting better though :( I can't even leave my house for long periods of time because of the intense pain of going to the bathroom. I feel like it is controlling my life right now.

Have you started taking the acyclovir yet? It should help with your symptoms, though it might take a bit of time.

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I've started taking the acyclovir on thursday, 3 times a day. She said to take it 3 times a day for 5 days, then 2 times a day until I run out. I got a prescription for 60 pills... I'm not quite sure if it's helping... If I don't feel a real difference, does that mean that I might just not have herpes? Or does it mean that the medicine just isn't working for my body?

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