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Aditu

By Aditu
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Aditu Newbie

Aditu

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Just signed up to have a place where I don't feel alone, I suppose. I have genital HSV2, diagnosed in 2006. But for a single (rather meaningless) sexual encounter, I've been celibate since then... It's been hard to come to terms with the idea of having this particular virus, since there's such a stigma about it, and I've often felt "dirty" or simply unlovable for it.

Recently I met a man I'm interested in, and we've been dating for a few weeks. Nothing close to physical has happened between us, and I've yet to have "the talk" with him. I'm trying my best to mentally prepare myself for it, and it's not the easiest. I don't really know how to approach it, or when I should.

So that's that. Hello, lovely people. It's nice to know there's a place where I don't have to feel odd talking about HSV. :wavey:

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norcallove Established Member

norcallove

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Hi. Welcome to this site. It is great to have a place to talk with people who understand what you're going through. I have GHSV2, diagnosed a little over a week ago.

The stigma is probably the hardest part. I know I haven't been diagnosed for very long, but I understand all of your feelings. People on here really helped me understand I am the same person I was before and I am not dirty. SO just remember you are not dirty or unlovable! You're a wonderful person who deserves to be loved!! :)

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Aditu Newbie

Aditu

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This is exactly why I decided to come over here. The support and wealth of information from members is amazing. Thanks for the reply!

I'm glad for you that you found the site so early on. I wish I had done more searching and found it sooner.

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AquariusAngel Acknowledged Support Member

AquariusAngel

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'The Talk' can be daunting but it doesn't have to be. I look at it like if you get all serious and gloomy about it, chances are your boyfriend will react in the same way and it will terrify the living shit out of him. It will help for you to have plenty of knowledge about herpes and transmission risks etc. Also knowing statistics would be good too so that he realises it is incredibly common. A well known member here tells their dates that they gets cold sores...just not on their face. I think that is a really good thing to say because oral and genital herpes is the same virus, they are just in different regions of the body. It is a skin virus, it isn't life threatening. You have to try and make your boyfriend understand that. Your approach will determine his perception of it. In the long run, something like this could bring you two even closer together and he will love you even more for being honest with him.

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Sunshine2you Established Member

Sunshine2you

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Welcome, Aditu! I, too, have found this site very reassuring and comforting. I really hope your talk goes well with your new man. As Aquarius Angel (who always gives good advice) says, it's important to just be matter-of-fact and honest with him, and he will most likely be greatful for your honesty. Good luck! :)

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Aditu Newbie

Aditu

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I had the talk, and it went rather well. He was not disgusted or horrified, and admitted that while he knew it was rather common, he didn't know a lot about it (I've promised to help educate him, so he can make an informed decision). He did say that it didn't change his opinion of me, or make him think less of me, and has not pulled away in his affection at all. I guess I had sort of worried about it more than was necessary.

I'm very, very relieved. :)

Thanks again for the support, all.

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norcallove Established Member

norcallove

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Hi Aditu! I am so happy to hear that the talk went well! The best thing you can do is educate him :) I'm glad he reacted like a caring and reasonable person - the way anyone should react! It shouldn't change his opinion of you because you are still the exact same person. I know how much of a relief it is. :) Take care!!

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      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hi @Throwaway765 yes that all makes sense and you’ve pretty well reached the right conclusions except for a very significant fact!! You are right, receiving genital HSV-2 from oral sex is unheard of, just not feasible given how people have it and whether it actually sheds in infectious quantities or not. Safely rule this out. Now HSV-1; once you have this as you do orally, you have immunity against infection anywhere else on the body, it is also not feasible.  The symptoms you describe are also not related to herpes in the absence of lesions.
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      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hi @Throwaway765 and welcome. There is absolutely no concern over this being related to herpes. Something must be concerning you as to the possibility of herpes… what is it? 
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      By Throwaway765 · Posted

      @CHTany thoughts? Thanks!
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