So I'm pretty sure I have herpes.

[lil baby jesus]

Hey everyone,

Long story short, I met a girl who I really hit it off with a couple years ago, had unprotected sex after she "verbally confirmed" she was "clean," and we dated for several months. Looking back from a rational perspective, whether or not I have anything now, it was extremely stupid to give away trust so easily without any kind of testing, plus not using protection on top of that. There's nothing like feeling young and invincible, right? "Bad things won't happen to me."

Throughout the entire time, and even over a year after, I had no signs or symptoms of anything. After we broke up, I decided to become celibate (temporarily) to take some time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life in terms of direction. So, it's been over a year since I've had sexual contact and everything was looking normal physically the whole time... until last month, the beginning of November 2010.

About a week into November, I randomly started noticing symptoms that seemed to be caused by herpes. I became very concerned and lived on the Internet for a while looking at as many pictures (to compare) and reading as much as possible on the subject to learn. A week or so later, I decided that I should get it looked at.

I didn't/don't currently have insurance but I said screw it, I'm at least getting a visual inspection to make sure nothing insanely wrong is happening. Paid nearly $100 just to see the doctor, and he said that considering I've been abstinent for the last year and nothing ever happened, he doubted it was herpes, and then told me to come back if anything different ever happens again.

From then until the present (and going), I am fairly convinced I am having my first outbreak. No back pain, headaches, fever, flu-like symptoms, or pain during urinating, but skin peeling/blistering/scabbing along with a few suspicious itchy lesions. This, and nothing like this, has ever happened before, so I know it's not normal, except maybe in the sense that herpes is actually becoming normal these days (http://www.herpesisnormal.com).

In the end, I am only currently self-diagnosed with herpes. In the beginning I tried to think otherwise (dry skin, irritation, allergic reaction, etc.) but the head-in-the-sand approach doesn't work well with me. I'd rather live in reality as it's much better for solving problems.

But anyways, I will get official confirmation either way in January when my insurance kicks in and I can afford to have as much testing as I want along with any necessary prescriptions that I may need pending the results. For the sake of this post, though, I will assume it's herpes.

A few months before my initial outbreak (before I even suspected that I have anything), I was feeling very stressed out about certain things in my life, and now feel like that may have had a large part to do with it. The reading I've done suggests this at least.

For anyone who has already been diagnosed and is currently living with herpes, I know there are many causes, but do you find that abnormally high stress levels play a big factor in causing you to have outbreaks?

[gossamer]

Boy, oh boy. I am in the same boat as you. From what I've read, stress load does contribute a lot to a herpes breakout. This makes sense, seeing as this is a viral thing. I'm going to the doctor next week, best of luck to you...take some lysine and hope for the best.

[lil baby jesus]

Ah, best of luck to you as well my friend.

[Sunshine2you]

Oh, Surreal, wouldn't it be nice if everything wasn't so complicated? If you are like me (or, how I used to be, I guess), you take people for their word. When this girl told you she was "clean," (as my ex did), you believed her. You trusted her, and that's how things should be. Maybe she didn't know she had anything, maybe she did and wasn't honest. It makes me so sad, sometimes, to think that sex and intimacy these days has to be so complicated, so full of risks and other issues. Guess it's always been that way, but it seems as if more and more diseases are being discovered every day.

Thank you for sharing your story, and I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time right now and that you have to wait until January to get your other testing done (I understand that, too). In the meantime, please take good care of yourself and find as many ways possible to relax (I love long baths, wine, music, being outside). You posted a response to one of my earlier posts that brought me a lot of comfort, and I hope that I have sent a little back your way.

[lil baby jesus]

Aw, thanks Sunshine!

[stephxo]

I did the same exact thing as you! Researched online for hours, looking at pictures and reading about symptoms. I self diagnosed myself and mentally prepared myself even before I went to see a doctor. My thoughts were confirmed when the doctor told me my assumptions were correct. I trusted my partner like you trusted yours. A lot of people, including myself, did not know that herpes was not included in the normal STD testing. A doctor needs to actually check you during an outbreak in order to tell you it's hsv as well as take a blood test which isn't always accurate. If you have symptoms that you've never had before, specifically blisters, lesions, itching etc. then there's definitely not something right.

It's not the end of the world even though many people feel that way. I was officially diagnosed this past week and I have been handling it pretty well. Support sites like this are definitely beneficial as well as talking to people who are going through the same thing! Good luck to you.

[lil baby jesus]

I did the same exact thing as you! Researched online for hours, looking at pictures and reading about symptoms. I self diagnosed myself and mentally prepared myself even before I went to see a doctor. My thoughts were confirmed when the doctor told me my assumptions were correct. I trusted my partner like you trusted yours. A lot of people, including myself, did not know that herpes was not included in the normal STD testing. A doctor needs to actually check you during an outbreak in order to tell you it's hsv as well as take a blood test which isn't always accurate. If you have symptoms that you've never had before, specifically blisters, lesions, itching etc. then there's definitely not something right.

It's not the end of the world even though many people feel that way. I was officially diagnosed this past week and I have been handling it pretty well. Support sites like this are definitely beneficial as well as talking to people who are going through the same thing! Good luck to you.

Thanks for your response sc1989.

Yeah, mentally preparing myself took some work, that's for sure. It was hard to concentrate on anything during those first 30 days. I was still able to get done what I needed to as far as business goes, but I definitely felt a sharp drop in focus. You can't help but wonder WTF is happening in the back of your mind the whole time.

Having said that, I agree that it's not the end of the world. You're never really "screwed" until you're dead, which none of us apparently are since we're all posting on here. I'm also very thankful that websites like this exist. It's hard to accept the fact that a virus so common can have the power to make you feel so alone--over 50 million people have HSV in America.

If we all donated $1 to research, there would be enough money for a cure with millions of dollars left over, ya know?

[RealisticGal]

I'm so sorry you got overcharged by a doctor who basically did nothing for you but give you a poorly justified opinion (in my own opinion, of course).

Just as a note to those who might be in the same situation regarding insurance, etc...

Many clinics will charge for this type of testing on a sliding scale. So you could check with someplace like Planned Parenthood, your local Department of Health or a private STI clinic.

The problem with having to wait, if you think you are actually having an outbreak, is that you may never have another outbreak in the future. Your primary outbreak may be your only chance to know precisely what you have in the case of herpes.

If that is the case, you can always take a type specific blood test, but that will not tell you anything about the location of an infection. So if it comes up positive, especially for HSV-1, it is very possible you have an (old) oral infection without symptoms.

If you really want to know what you are dealing with, it is best to find a way to get a real laboratory test that can detect actual viral material (i.e. a swab and culture). A meaningless (and overpriced in your case, Surreal Love) visual exam is totally useless, and a blood test is limited in what it tells you.

Hope it all works out for you, hon.

[lil baby jesus]

Hey RealisticGal, thanks for your reply as well.

Yeah, I do feel like the cost was a little steep for the doctor appointment, but I've never been to one without insurance before (and I've rarely gone in the past anyway) so I had no idea what the "average" price was. And honestly, I still don't , but I'll have insurance again in January, so just 3 weeks. I also just very recently found out about Planned Parenthood and the services they offer, so unfortunately it's probably a little late at this point for a swab and culture.

My outbreak seems to be clearing up now - week 5 going on 6 - to the point where there's only occasional minor itching and discomfort. RealisticGal, you seem to be pretty experienced on here... do you have any idea why it would have waited over a year to become active? I guess at the very least, I can look forward to infrequent outbreaks and lesser ones if/when they do happen to occur.

As far as testing for location, I already know it's genital, so what exactly would that test provide (that I wouldn't know)? At this point, I'm really just curious to see if it's HSV1 or 2, and want to learn as much about both to maximize both safety and comfortable living in general.

Thanks again!

[RealisticGal]

I also just very recently found out about Planned Parenthood and the services they offer, so unfortunately it's probably a little late at this point for a swab and culture.

My outbreak seems to be clearing up now - week 5 going on 6 - to the point where there's only occasional minor itching and discomfort.

Dang. Yeah, that's a bit too late to get a swab done. Within the first few days is best. If you ever get another outbreak, I would truly recommend it.

RealisticGal, you seem to be pretty experienced on here... do you have any idea why it would have waited over a year to become active? I guess at the very least, I can look forward to infrequent outbreaks and lesser ones if/when they do happen to occur.

Well, if you actually do have herpes, it could be explained by the latency factor. The virus can be dormant for long periods of time.

If you do have herpes, it is possible this really was your primary outbreak, but also could be that you had an unrecognizable one prior to this and this is actually a recurrence. There are folks on here who apparently had the virus for years without an outbreak they knew about.

Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that your course will be mild. But hopefully that will be the case (if you have herpes).

As far as testing for location, I already know it's genital, so what exactly would that test provide (that I wouldn't know)? At this point, I'm really just curious to see if it's HSV1 or 2, and want to learn as much about both to maximize both safety and comfortable living in general.

I get it that you think you have genital herpes. But you really don't know that. As far as I can tell, you don't even know for sure that you have herpes at all at this point.

Yes, you have something happening in your genital area, but what?

You have had no laboratory tests, so there is no way to be sure.

Herpes is a bit of a chameleon. Many other conditions resemble (and can be mistaken for) herpes and vice versa. So until you get some sort of lab test, you won't know for sure whether or not you have it.

And if all you are able to get is a blood test, you still will not necessarily know the location.

You see, the problem is that many folks (about 80% of the North American population) have oral herpes, usually caused by HSV1, but about 70% of them do not know it. So if you were to test positive for HSV1 by serology, there is every chance it might be due to an unrecognized oral infection, while your genital symptoms might be due to some other condition.

The "skin peeling/blistering/scabbing along with a few suspicious itchy lesions" could definitely be something else. There are many things that could cause such symptoms. So even though it's in the genital area, you may not have genital herpes.

I do surely hope you are able to get it figured out in time.

[RealisticGal]

My thoughts were confirmed when the doctor told me my assumptions were correct. I trusted my partner like you trusted yours. A lot of people, including myself, did not know that herpes was not included in the normal STD testing. A doctor needs to actually check you during an outbreak in order to tell you it's hsv as well as take a blood test which isn't always accurate.

Actually, what the doc needs to do during an outbreak is take a swab and culture of the lesions.

If all a doc does is a visual exam, that is not always accurate. Visual exam is the least reliable means of diagnosing herpes, and even "experts" make mistakes that way.

[nycgirl87]

I am sorry to hear about the insurance issue, but I know that you can do a search and as others mentioned, organizations like Planned Parenthood test for cheap or free. I would try to do it sooner than later. I am not too sure about the skin peeling and scabbing. The blistering is what made me get tested and had my doctor confirm herpes. If you absolutely cannot get tested in the meantime, get alot of sleep, exercise, and just try to keep your immune system as healthy as possible. Good luck

[lil baby jesus]

Thanks again RealisticGal. From the reading I've done and pictures I've seen, I'm probably 95% sure it's herpes, but yeah, I know nothing's 100% until it's on paper. For potential future recurrences, I guess I'm just trying to stay positive (lol...no pun intended).

Thanks to you as well nycgirl. I'm getting as much sleep and exercise as possible. You definitely can't let something like this turn you into a hermit.

[RealisticGal]

Thanks again RealisticGal. From the reading I've done and pictures I've seen, I'm probably 95% sure it's herpes, but yeah, I know nothing's 100% until it's on paper. For potential future recurrences, I guess I'm just trying to stay positive (lol...no pun intended).

Heck, sometimes it isn't even 100% once it is on paper, and herpes testing is prime example of that because of both false negatives and false positives. Nevertheless, the lab tests are the best we can do at this point.

You know, there is a woman who is a member here who was "diagnosed" with herpes by visual exam 20 years ago. She recently found out she does not have herpes and never did.

[lil baby jesus]

Wow! 20 years? Now that's crazy!

I wonder what she did have???

[bryan]

yah good advice

[bryan]

awesome adive nyc girl

[RealisticGal]

Wow! 20 years? Now that's crazy!

I wonder what she did have???

I don't think she even knows.

[dupachick]

Ok, I believe I got my herpes back in april when I was misdiagnost. They thought I had vaginal atrophy. I also had all the other std tests that came back neg. thank god. Well in Sept. I believe I had another episode and was swabbed but it came back neg. so they did a blood test and it came back positive for hsv1 and they could tell that I've had it for a few months. I believe the swab came back neg because the sores were not open. So since I have been cleard for everything else, I believe I am genital hsv1 even though my swab came back neg. I believe, and I'm sure people will disagree with me, that if you take the blood test and it comes back pos. you would be safe to assume it is genital herpes unless of course you have your doctor test you for other things.

Also, stress is a trigger for an ob, it also made my ob last longer. Not until I started taking the meds and some valium and Cymbolta to calm me down did the ob go away. Good luck!