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New to herpes and so grateful to find a support network : )


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Hi, I am 23 and I was just diagnosed with Herpes Virus 1 on my genitals. My boyfriend has Herpes Virus 1 - cold sores. He didn't even have a cold sore on his lip (which he had a breakout the following monday after I had left) and he gave the virus to me. I spent Thanksgiving weekend with him and by the time Tuesday came around I could not sit, stand or walk. The blisters had not appeared yet though. I had a fever and numbness on my lower region. Didn't know what was happening to me. Blisters appeared a few days later and after three hospital visits and two doctors visits, I received the news of having herpes. I did a horrible thing of accusing my boyfriend of cheating and I realize how horrible that was because that wasn't the case. I should not have reacted that way, especially since he has never ever treated me bad. But I was ignorant with all of this and I've been researching this a lot in the last week..and I now realize how easily it can be spread.

Honestly... I wanted to just die. I haven't been to work for two weeks because of the pain. My first day back is in a few days. I am having a really hard time with this and I cry occasionally throughout the day. Even though the man in my life is amazing, I have thoughts throughout the day of just being single. I guess I just feel like our sex life will never be the same. That I will never be able to enjoy sex or any sexual activity and I have a giant fear that I will have outbreaks from sex. Sex will cause outbreaks.. that's how I'm thinking right now. I hope I am wrong.

So that is where I'm at right now. I am very grateful that this support network exists because I had been looking for one. I hope this will help and when I start to experience more with this virus I hope to be able to provide help to other people.

Please feel free to comment on this, I would very much appreciate it.

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Hey blizzard,

I'm pretty new to this as well and from my experience in addition to what I've read from other peoples' stories, your initial reaction is completely normal. Including your emotional response.

Have you taken a trip to the doctor yet?

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Hi MsIrish. Welcome to this site. It has a lot of great information as well as supportive and nice people. We all understand what you're going through. I was diagnosed with GHSV2 about two weeks ago. I feel extremely grateful to have found this site. It has been so helpful, especially all of the supportive people who reached out to me.

The first thing I asked my doctor when she told me it looked like H was does that mean my boyfriend has been cheating on me. She told me no. She told me I could have had this for years! Of course, this was before I had done any research. I know now that H can lay dormant for years, it is not included in a routine STD check even if you ask for everything (as I always have) unless you specifically ask for it, and he might have it but be asymptomatic and passed it on to me. There are SO many possibilities. I had always thought I was safe - condoms, knowing my partners, both getting tested... but, like you said, it does spread easily.

I'm glad your BF has been great. So has mine. He has been really supportive. I understand all of your feelings. Just the other night I got really insecure out of no where and fearful he would leave me. Luckily, he has reassured me numerous time that nothing has changed and he won't leave. We haven't had sex again yet, since I just finished my OB, but we plan on it soon. While you might need to make some minor adjustments - don't let it change you sex life :) I think you guys will be fine. It's just an emotional roller coaster in the beginning. Just try to remain positive and think of it as a sometimes irritating skin condition. That has helped me. Don't give H more credit than it deserves and don't let it take over your life.

I hope you're feeling even better today :) I feel so much better than the day I joined. We're all here for you. Take care! Hugs! :)

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First is the worst. Don't worry about your sex life. It will work out ok, especially if yo uand your bf both know and are exposed. You work through this thing together. Believe me, he probably feels worse than you knowing that he gave it to you. Feeling angry is normal but don't take it out on the one you love who will give you the most support. I have been married 22 yrs and am 42yo. I did a dastardly thing and exposed my wife to it only 5 yrs ago. The quality of our sex is better than ever and my sis-in-law has always called us rabbits.;-) I havent seen my wife for 4 months but she's coming to visit for Christmas in Dubai. She can't wait to see that big Christmas tree in the Dubai Mall. Funny huh. We'll have romantic dinners, lounge at the beach, explore,and have passionate sweet lovins between...EVERYDAY! :-)

Cheer up, your not in a bad place at all. hang on to your boy if he is great and you love him...grow strong together and look towards a bright future.

Love, Hope, Joy

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Aquatic, thank you for everything that you said!

My outbreak is now over.. just have soreness in my muscles/joints still. I have yet to have sex. But that is also due to my boyfriend being in the army and away. He will be here next week for Christmas and then he will be deployed to Afghanistan January until June. So next week will be the last time I see him for awhile. He obviously would love to have sex before he is deployed. But I am not ready to have sex yet.. I hope he will understand. I just feel it is too soon for me.. and not only do we have to deal with this but we also have another issue with our sex life because he is very well endowed and I am so small. So with these two issues.. I'm scared to have sex and I'm really scared that if I do have sex, it will cause an outbreak or tears. I have been reading a lot about how women experience tears.

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MsIrish. I don't want to be presumptious, If you want to talk more privately then send a private message. You certainly dont want to do or not do something that you will regret.

I joined the Army at 19, got married at 20. I deployed to the first Gulf War in 1990 for nearly 1 year. I got out after 4 years and created a civilian carreer that carried me all over the country and offshore in a very lonely and physically dangerous work. I recently joined the Navy reserves and have deployed to mid E twice and currently halfway thru my second, Im writing this from the UAE. I know what it means to come and go, and to be so lonely and sit in the quiet and question everything. Be strong and wise and it will work out.

And....Realistic Gal has a very good point! ;-)

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