a real shock

[danveloper]

I got diagnosed with herpes only a few days ago my world shut down after that. it so pathetic too one bad decision and im a virgin "hard to believe right" with herpes if any one can tell something or what the chances are of my doctor being wrong is. since she said it was herpes but the test hasn't come back yet. i just don't know how to approach talking to women again heck I wasn't any good at that in the first place. well that's kind of the story and now Im kinda stuck thanks for reading this and i hope you will reply back

[JBnATL]

How were you diagnosed? It takes skin to skin contact for you to get it. Did you rub against anyone's genitals?

Even if you do have it, it is not the end of the world. I have had it many years and it means nothing to me. It has not stopped me from doing anything or anyone I wanted.

Come to the Chat Room, there you will meet many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!

JB

[darkangel2100]

When I was diagnosed I first thought that no one would want me now, unless they already had it. Then I got over it and met my fiance, he is hsv negative. There is hope.

Was it a visual physical test that your doc diagnosed you? Or did they take cultures/blood tests? If it was just a visual diagnosis then it can be wrong, but if they took blood or cultures of the sores then it is an accurate diagnosis.

[Dogwatch]

I got diagnosed with herpes only a few days ago my world shut down after that.

It may transpire that you don't even have it. But even if you do, try and keep it in perspective:

1) Around 25% of the population have it genitally, so it's very common.

2) 80% of those with it experience only occasional minor symptoms, or no symptoms at all.

3) Most people who have it don't even know they have it - it's that minor!

4) Unlike other STIs, it doesn't lead to other health problems except in a few (extremely rare) cases.

5) It's a mild viral skin condition. Nothing more, nothing less. Not some "terrible disease".

6) It ain't gonna kill you!

Here's a couple of links. I make no apology for posting them yet again (for those who are familiar with my posts) because I think they're excellent, and the content important.

http://herpesisnormal.com/?page_id=19

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/HSV1---Asymptomatic-Shedding-Risks---oral-and-genital/show/249237

Live long and prosper!

[RealisticGal]

I got diagnosed with herpes only a few days ago my world shut down after that. it so pathetic too one bad decision and im a virgin "hard to believe right" with herpes if any one can tell something or what the chances are of my doctor being wrong is. since she said it was herpes but the test hasn't come back yet. i just don't know how to approach talking to women again heck I wasn't any good at that in the first place. well that's kind of the story and now Im kinda stuck thanks for reading this and i hope you will reply back

Hi danveloper,

It's kind of hard to give any input on the likelihood of your doctor being mistaken without a bit more detail.

Are you having symptoms, and if so, what and where are they?

What "bad decision" did you make?

When you say you are a virgin, are you including all types of sexual contact, such as oral and manual, etc?

What tests were done by your doctor?

Give us a bit more info so we can try to give you some feedback.

[fattypatty]

refreshing facts. I have been trying to keep the emotions out somewhat so I can focus on facts. Hard, but distracting in a good sort of way.

[RealisticGal]

If it was just a visual diagnosis then it can be wrong, but if they took blood or cultures of the sores then it is an accurate diagnosis.

Visual exam alone is notoriously unreliable. At best, it is a reason for suspicion which must be proved or disproved by laboratory tests.

Even the laboratory tests (blood tests and swab/culture tests) sometimes result in false positives. More so the blood tests, but it is even possible with cultures. Rare like hen's teeth, but possible.

[iLemon]

I have a question about all the visual exams. I had one today and have ben doing them on my burning self for the lat 2 days as Ive seen blisters go to scabs and had a fever and lower back pain and textbook textbook textbook. The doctor looked at it and said she is 99% sure it is herpes. On top of that one of the worst outbreaks shes seen. Oh joy. Im 28...I know better, and to top it off....it was probably contracted while using a condom. fml. I dont know whether to be sad or mad or both. But I am both....which the size of my headache almost takes away from the pain of my whoHAW burning like mad. Oh man. This is the beginning of a LONG single life I have a feeling.

[RealisticGal]

I have a question about all the visual exams. I had one today and have ben doing them on my burning self for the lat 2 days as Ive seen blisters go to scabs and had a fever and lower back pain and textbook textbook textbook. The doctor looked at it and said she is 99% sure it is herpes. On top of that one of the worst outbreaks shes seen. Oh joy. Im 28...I know better, and to top it off....it was probably contracted while using a condom. fml. I dont know whether to be sad or mad or both. But I am both....which the size of my headache almost takes away from the pain of my whoHAW burning like mad. Oh man. This is the beginning of a LONG single life I have a feeling.

Sorry you are in so much pain.

What is your question about visual exams, then? I don't see one in there.

I will say that what your doctor said is the same thing I've read about here many times, and some of them were wrong. However, yes, sometimes the lab tests will back them up. I hope your doctor did a swab and culture, as recommended by the CDC, since that is the only way to be sure. Even STI "experts" can misdiagnose herpes based on visual exam alone.

Hon, being 28 (or 38 or 48 or 108 ) does not mean you should "know better." Really, unless they have had a reason to study up about herpes, very few people know much about it. When I was a kid and we had sex ed, it was not even mentioned. It seems that most folks are not aware that a condom does not protect 100% against the spread of herpes. Also, very few of us were aware that herpes can be asymptomatic, so that someone may have it without even knowing it, but can spread it to someone else who will have very real symptoms.

As far as you staying single because of this, just know that almost everyone with a new diagnosis of herpes feels that way at first. Most actually do decide not to have sex, at least for a while, according to the American Social Health Association.

But then, that usually only lasts a little while. Once they become educated about herpes and learn to manage it, most folks resume a fairly normal life of dating, romance, marriage, sex, children, whatever they want to include. Herpes is not a reason to give up on those things.

Here's an article I like because it tends to show newbies that the feelings they are having right now are all normal:

I Was Ashamed of My Herpes Until I Found Out How to Treat It...

I hope you will read that hon. I also hope you will read the links on the right side of this page. There is a wealth of information there that will help you. >>>>>>>>>>>>

Most of all, if your doctor did not take a swab for culture, I hope you will run quick like a bunny while your lesions are still fresh and get that done. Either go back to her, or to someone else (a different doc or a clinic) who will. So many other conditions can look like herpes and vice versa. A lab test can give you a much more reliable diagnosis.

In the meantime, hugs to you.

Try Epsom Salt baths to ease the pain and help the sores heal (after they have been swabbed). Also, antiviral meds (if you have herpes) and lidocaine cream might help as well.

Take care...

[Dogwatch]

Oh man. This is the beginning of a LONG single life I have a feeling.

I very much doubt that. RG is quite correct - that's what most folks think at first. But only because they don't know the facts.

Once they inform themselves and realise just what a very minor deal herpes actually is for the vast majority of people, they find that as far as sex and relationships are concerned they're able to carry on pretty much as before with only a few minor adjustments (such as avoiding sex if and when they have an OB).

Remember that 25% of the adult population have GH. It's nothing terrible - or even unusual.