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My Story - Need advice, next step


officegirl

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Hi, my story begins in January I met the best guy and everything was going great after awhile he started being very moody and standoffish with my, treat my like crap really. he then slept with my best friend so everything ended.. I thought I had got over him until a few months after that he came back into my life and told me he was in love with me, and i mean he was soo good look and when he was in a good mood everything was great.. a few days after we got back together I noticed that something was very wrong with me.. If I ever have anything wrong I always go to the doctors, better to be safe then sorry at first the doctor told me it could be chlamydia, then said that it definitly wasn't herpes so not to worry, but my test results came back positive! I was a mess, the worst possible time of my life ever on and off anti anxiety tablets gaining weight loosing weight, i just didn't know what to do.. he denied it and bullied me about it with his friends i guess so it wouldnt look like he gave i to me.. was horrible! I could not prove he gave me it, but where the hell else did it come from? I few months later I met his sister through friends and she said to me.. noo you dont want to go near him he has herpes.. I froze with anger, and couldn't beleive he lied to me and bullied me about something that HE GAVE ME :( .. now I feel asif I will never be good enough for anyone else I feel dirty.. It had gone for awhile but came back today and I'm a mess.. please help!!

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Hi Officegirl...the first thing is to take a deep breath and begin to realize that you are good enough. What he did to you by lying is awful and you didn't deserve it, no one does. Only time and positivity will help you cope with this. Don't feel dirty, there is nothing dirty about this b/c this can happen to anyone. It's ok to have your bad days, just don't let them overtake you. Pray through this...and you will get through. I've been diagnosed with hsv2 now for a little over a yr and it's mindblowing the effect it can have...it can disrupt everything, if you let it. Don't let it. Focus on you b/c you may never know why he did what he did, but you can help yourself by taking care of you. God bless.:flowers:

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Hi, my story begins in January I met the best guy and everything was going great after awhile he started being very moody and standoffish with my, treat my like crap really. he then slept with my best friend so everything ended.. I thought I had got over him until a few months after that he came back into my life and told me he was in love with me, and i mean he was soo good look and when he was in a good mood everything was great.. a few days after we got back together I noticed that something was very wrong with me.. If I ever have anything wrong I always go to the doctors, better to be safe then sorry at first the doctor told me it could be chlamydia, then said that it definitly wasn't herpes so not to worry, but my test results came back positive! I was a mess, the worst possible time of my life ever on and off anti anxiety tablets gaining weight loosing weight, i just didn't know what to do.. he denied it and bullied me about it with his friends i guess so it wouldnt look like he gave i to me.. was horrible! I could not prove he gave me it, but where the hell else did it come from? I few months later I met his sister through friends and she said to me.. noo you dont want to go near him he has herpes.. I froze with anger, and couldn't beleive he lied to me and bullied me about something that HE GAVE ME :( .. now I feel asif I will never be good enough for anyone else I feel dirty.. It had gone for awhile but came back today and I'm a mess.. please help!!

My long term partner passed it on to me without telling me too. He aid he did it because we were together for ever so it didn;t matter - and so I wouldnt leave him.' Trouble is, he had one minor ob is 19 years and thought it was nothing; I have had constant obs for 3 years and left him after 1. It has changed my life and I'm no spring chicken, so feel the time is over to get this under control and meet someone else. Honestly, I just don't have time to bother with anyone, it's enough to deal with children, pets and pain. Perhaps that's why they pass it on - they really don't have a bad experience with it? I could never bear to think of taking a chance on passing this on, mine is so severe it's practically all I think about. It's all very well and good for people to say 'don't feel dirty' but I do.

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"noo you dont want to go near him he has herpes"

Notwithstanding the fact that this guy sounds like a complete jerk that you're better off without anyway (herpes or no herpes), this is exactly the kind of ignorant bullshit mentality that prevails in wider society that we need to combat and educate people against.

Why? Because it's precisely this line of thinking that gives The Great Uninformed the fallacious idea that herpes is a worse thing than it really is.

I mean for f*ck's sake: What is this "you don't want to go near him" crap? What are we talking about here? Ebola? Leprosy? Bubonic plague? Necrotising fastitis?

No. We're talking about an extremely common - and for most people quite benign - skin condition. And not only that, it's one that for the vast majority of so-called "sufferers" is so mild that an estimated 80% of them don't even know they've got it. I don't even dignify it by calling it a "disease". For most people it's a superficial viral skin condition - nothing more, nothing less.

The "yuk" factor as spewed out by ill-informed idiots like the sister of your ex (sounds like a family of morons you were dealing with there, lucky escape you had) is due solely to the fact that it relates to the "genitals", not to its medical severity.

Oh sure, some people do have bad outbreaks, and I wouldn't want to belittle their discomfort. But these are the minority (even though they may perhaps be the majority on forums like this, precisely because they come here to seek comfort among kindred spirits and to pick up new therapy tips etc.).

But like I said, it's all about "anatomical location", not about any medical implications. Because consider: The fact that society couldn't care a stuff about oral herpes (no stigma there, even though it's just another strain of the same virus) is proof that if it occurred anywhere but the genitals, there'd be no silly stigma attached to "the other" herpes either. No tut-tutting in polite company, no bad jokes by Jay Leno and other fools on prime time.

So try to rise above all the bullshit, and rest assured - you most definitely ARE good enough. There's absolutely nothing at all wrong with you. You just happen to be among the 25% of the adult population who happen to have a minor skin condition that happens to affect the groin area.

http://herpesisnormal.com/?page_id=18

Live long and prosper!

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Thank you dogwatch for putting things in perspective for me! I've always disliked that guys (and sorry for the generalization) but they only seemed interested in getting into my pants. Well, now I guess it'll help me realize who really is interested in ME and who just wants a quick roll in the hay. In my younger years, I was quite the wild child and at least I'm now much more careful on who I chose to be intimate with. If someone will reject me merely because they have a slight chance of contracting it, I guess they're really not worth the time investment anyways. Take care and thanks again!

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Maybe it is me (the husband in thetwoofus) but it seems again and again there are so many females here and so many fewer males. Are the females the only ones willing or needing to speak about this? Are the guys just ticked cause they think whoever gave it to them was on purpose? It appears that my wife gave this to me (not on purpose if you can look up anothers post I have explained why) I am not ticked off she was misinformed 15 years ago. She has outbreaks on occasion I may just be a carrier. I am infected, but have no outbreaks. There are some good guys out there ladies if they would get off their backsides and find a forum like this they could meet many ladies it seems.

Anyway good luck ladies. Right now I dread when the day comes and one of us passes (hopefully a LONG time from now) and leaves the other to deal with moving forward.

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Sorry that all happened to you the guy sounds like a total loser who was never worth your time anyway and you'll be better without him. dont worry about the herpee jerpees, trust me life will go on, mine has big time, i've done tons of shit this year and still have sex, once you realize it's just a skin condition everything will start getting better.

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Gee I guess I'm pretty lucky. He told me he felt so sorry for me and held me while I cryed.

He said he "wasn't out" to which I replied I wouldn't blame you if you ran. I honestly don't know what I'd do. I had to leave his house and come home to think this thru.

So at least he is a real man.

I'm sorry you endured what you did. I can't fathum how someone could knowingly pass any STD on to someone.

Hang in there we'll all get thru this!

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